Time

There is a silly joke in our household.  Tim and I have some similar taste in movies and TV shows (Sci-fi and adventure sitting pretty high on the list), but one thing that brings us together like nothing else is the Back to the Future Movies.  We both loved them as kids, we still love them as adults.  One of the jokes that occasionally comes up is the excitement of counting down until we reach 2015.  Because, despite no advancements to suggest this is the case yet, of course by 2015 there will be flying cars and most particularly hover-boards.  That reminds me, I need to start working on my skateboard skills in preparations ;)

Time is such a weird thing.

We have just a little under a month and a half until we move to Melbourne for good.  It hit me this week that I could no longer feel super organised by saying "Yes, I think I'll probably start packing this week".  Three weeks ago, that was super organised.  This week, given that I haven't actually even put together a box, I realised that a month is not a long time to pack up a house, while working pretty much full time and socialising the rest of the time.

It has hit our year of College that things are almost over.  And so the next three weeks or so are filled with lots of "Final events".  Final College dinner in the playground.  Final Bible study social.  Final book club, final chapel, extra four year specific thanksgiving service.  Official College good-bye dinner and any number of goodbye dinners that we organise just because we are going to miss everyone.  A friend and I were saying, it's great that we are being so social, but we wish we'd realise how much we'd miss our year sooner so we could have fit all these events into the whole year and not just the last month!

And so, even though it will be a special and meaningful month, I feel a little dizzy when I think about it.  Because I already feel exhausted coming home from work to quickly cook dinner before heading out again.  Adding packing to the mix seems like a bit much.

We have been in Sydney for Four years.  Sometimes it seems like the time has flown and sometimes it seems that four years cannot be enough time to fit in all that we have experienced, the good and the bad.  Nothing has been as I have expected- the things I thought would be hard have not been, the things that I thought would be easy have not been.  But God has got us to this point anyway, and I am grateful.

On Tuesday, Tim will sit his last exam for a very long time.  And then, we will get ready to pack up and leave this Sydney life forever.

Time is such a weird thing.
Love B

Things I'm loving right now

SPRING!
Spring is sprung the grass is ris, I wonder where the birdies is.
They say the bird is on the wing.
That's absurd, the wing is on the bird!

That is little saying my Dad has said for every Spring since I can remember.  It's a bit strange, but I keep up the tradition, though usually only in my head.

I love spring!  I love cherry blossoms and birds songs and early morning sunshine and weather in it's mid 20s and blue skies.  And linked in with spring.

MY SANDAL THONGS

These are the same shape if not the same pattern as mine (mine are even nicer).  I suspect it wasn't actually Gisele Bundchen who invented her range of sandal/thongs but whoever did, I want to make them a mango smoothie.  They are comfy enough to walk decent distances in, and they are casual but they look lovely.  And in the end of summer sales at Myer they cost only $20.  Loving having them on again.

KNITTING!
I am loving knitting so much.  Seriously, what a great way to somehow legitimise all the time I spend in front of the TV.  I have knitted before but struggled with how long it takes, but now I've worked out the secret to knitting fast.

Using really big needles.

I've just made a woolen shrug which I absolutely love although I did leave my run to late and haven't been about to wear it in this gorgeous weather.  I've also been knitting for a family member's baby and it turns out when the person you are knitting for is 10 times smaller than you, it takes a tenth of the time to make.  And it turns out alot cuter too!

PRAYING with Friends
I just joined my 2nd Prayer triplet yesterday.  They have different focuses and different people in them, and I love both of them.  So great to be able to pray with others, particularly as it's been something I've been struggling a bit with on my own.

MY TEENAGE BIBLE STUDY
On Sunday one of the teens pouted and said "Why do you leave us, just when we learnt to love you?" I always loved them, but I've been really appreciating them all, as they have been appreciating Tim and I, because I know we have only a term left together.  Some of the girls are getting Baptised in October, and I've been loving our weekly coffees/baptism classes :)  So great to see those little year seven's we started with beginning to take their faith really seriously.  So encouraging.  Not to mention they are tonnes of fun!

I don't write this post about things I love because I'm going wonderfully or because there are only good things going on.  That is not the case.  It's been a hard month, and hard year.

But there are things that bring me joy, and I want to dwell on and celebrate them.
God is giving me good things every day.
Love B

After a slightly depressing last post...

I actually had time today for a nice long walk. The sky was blue and wind wasn't icy and it actually felt like spring might be around the corner.

I found an op shop and bought two tops, one that is cool and one that is pretty! I tried on one dress which I absolutely loved-it was this strange peasanty number with a mash up of brown and green paisley patterns. It was a little too weird for me to wear in public so I didn't buy it. But I'm glad I got to try it on :)

I had a cup of tea with a good friend

I worked on my novel (160 pages- oh yeah!)

I cooked dinner for Tim that he absolutely loved and he's been going on about it ever since.

Small blessings.

Lovely day off.
love B

What my blog is

Hello people,

It's a strange thing with this blog. Up to about 3 months ago I was under the impression that what I wrote on this blog- though intended for whoever wants to hear it- was only really going to a few people. I could have almost counted them on one hand- and when I wrote- I basically had in mind that the people reading it would be my sister, my friend's Fi and Suz, my sister-in-law-to-be Angie (who is also my friend of course :), and a few old friends who I've reacquainted with through their blogs.


But over the last few months i keep finding out that there are actually lots of people who do read by blog, sporadically perhaps- but I've at least moved off counting my fingers to having to count using my toes ;)



Nothing like the huge readership of most of the blogs I read, or even some of my friends, but slightly intimidating none the less.

I always find it funny to read blog posts on blogging. But here is one.

When I first started this blog in 2008, I was a studying first year Bible College student, terribly homesick for Melbourne, who was feeling strange because for the first time in many years she wasn't really doing any formal ministry. Part of the idea of the blog was that maybe this would be the much needed avenue for reflecting on and sharing what I was learning. For some reason it didn't really turn out like that.


Then I started my Kids/Women's ministry job. And I quickly gave up any intention of making this blog a deliberate "ministry". I was too tired, and to be honest whenever I started writing a post that was to instruct or teach, I felt a bit overwhelmed. I didn't feel like an expert enough in anything to write something instructive. I would write such posts, but I would always feel a bit proud and arrogant, and they would remain in my drafts folder. I think that I underestimate myself. I have lots of things I could say that might be helpful- but until that knowledge is reflected in how I feel about it- this blog will remain a reflection of what I've discovered and learnt- not primarily what I want to teach others.

And with a novel thrown in, which I know deserves more attention than its given, my blog takes second place to most things in my life. I blog because i want to- not because i feel like I should. This is somewhat reflected in the occasional months that go past without a post.

So what is this blog?:

This blog is NOT honest. What do I mean? I mean that this blog is not a blog where I write all my true experiences and feelings. There are things in my life that are too private for a non-anonymous blog. I share what I feel comfortable with, and while i sometimes worry that this is a bit of a rose-coloured glance at my life- that's just how it has to be sometimes. And I think I've come to peace with that.

This blog is for friends. That doesn't mean I don't love it when people I don't know read it and comment! I do. But I can't be bothered thinking every time I write it about how to make it good or interesting or relevant for "the public". So apologies if it's not! :)

This blog is mostly for me. I do think about who is reading it, and I occasionally don't say things that I think might be unhelpful. But this blog first and foremost is for me to have time to reflect and record this strange time in my life. The idea of thinking really hard about my blog and how it might help people makes me very tired :) And so I pray that God will take my reflections and use them to help others, even if I don't have time to be deliberate about it.


Thanks to all of you who read it. I'm very thankful to God for you. It's lovely that even though many of you are far away- that I can share a little bit of this adventure with you.
love B

life sans sunsets

The biggest drag about living in the crammed urban world that is the Inner West of Sydney is the lack of sunsets. I sometimes get glimmers of how good it could be by the light reflecting off the apartment building out the study window. But when in excitement I go searching to see it- there is nowhere to go. No big hills or flat expanses to walk to. Just more buildings close together. An occasional glimmer between them, and its gone.

I miss my sunsets :(

love B

The fog lifts

It started with the Roses. It always does.

I didn't realise it at the time. But as I walked towards the office I looked up and there they were. The Roses. Bobbing away in the breeze, under a sky which had been blue for days. They were always there. But on Wednesday, I saw them. I hadn't seen them for weeks.

It wasn't what I would call an easy morning. There was lots to do, and lots of conversations to be had. My throat was tired and after singing and story telling and entertaining I was ready for a nap, not for work. But I grabbed myself some lunch and sat down at my desk.

I sat at my computer for around 30 minutes. Not working. I can't do this. I just can't do this. I thought to myself. Not just that I can't do the work that I knew needed to get done. I meant I can't do this job. I'm no good at it. It's too hard. I can't do this and life and everything else. I can't do this.

Just one email. I told myself. Send one email and then you will feel better.

So I sent one. And then I sent another. And then I opened up a document and starting listening what we would do at the Kids Club training day.

That actually sounds pretty good I thought to myself.

I kept working. I thought about Kids Club and all the great things that would happen. I thought about Scripture and Bible study. It was good. It was work. But it was good. And I was too busy doing it to tell myself that I couldn't.

Even then I didn't know.

It was this morning. The roses aren't the only sign for me. As I went for my walk I started singing. Singing in my head. Lolling along Glebe Point Road singing a song in my head. I had sung, I had listened to songs, I had even had them stuck in my head. But not this "I'm happy so I will sing" that I found myself in for the first time in weeks.

That's when I realised.

The fog had lifted.

When your feeling depressed and you loose your confidence, you don't always know what's going on. You know that it's happening, but you don't see the way that it creeps into every aspect of your life and colours it grey.

But when the fog goes away, when God in his kindness and wisdom helps you think true helpful thoughts and not negative lies.

The sky clears.

And you see the roses.
love B

Where I am now

I'm sitting in our study. Outside the gum trees are there, but I can only see a few leaves shadowing across the lights of a near by apartment.

Earlier tonight I saw a clear flash of lightening, and then- BOOM, the thunder sounded.

Tim has often commented on things that he wants about the house that we live in. He often says, he's love to have a clean study that was all his own- a haven (the need for a haven may have something to do with the usual state of the house ;).

What do I want?

I want a room with a view.

I want to be able to be sitting on the computer- working on my story, and then look up and see something beautiful.

It makes my day.

I have that at the moment. Lovely trees, and a square of sky.

It's strange. Because I've had a really tough month. I'm overworked. I'm burning out. I'm tired.

But this room is my haven.

This room with a view.
love B

Operation Relocation

It just hit me today.

So far in my mind I've been pining after Melbourne people. Melbourne friends. Regretting the things that I'm missing, longing for the day when I would be back again.

But its just hit me. In a year and a little more than half we will be back in Melbourne. Perhaps for the rest of our lives.

And I'm suddenly realising how much I love my Sydney friends. How hard it will be to leave.

But before my Melbourne friends let out a sigh of horror (or even a few I told you so's) rest assured we are definitely coming back to Melbourne. Melbourne is home, and even if it wasn't- it is where I think we are needed.

But it's gonna hurt. Not to leave the city. But to leave the people. And it won't be like these two years of missing Melbourne friends, because in my mind it was always temporary.

But realistically, there are people who I dearly love who I will probably never live in the same city as again.

Wait- that's not true. In Heaven we will. And that will be amazing.

But I'll miss them while I wait.

And that brings me to my new plan.

Operation Relocation!

Get all my dearest Sydney friends to decide to make the permanent move to Melbourne!

I started with one friend today. She might have been humouring me, but she didn't sound totally against to the idea.

Operation Relocation.

Sydney friends- you have been warned!
love B

30 years worth of thankyous!

On Kyck we were challenged to not be people who were focused on gaining things that don't last (money, fame, things etc), but to be people who thanked God for the good gifts he gives us.

So, to celebrate my birthday- I thought I would thank God for things that he has given me over the years of my life.

Year 0-Thanks God for giving me life!
Year 1- Thanks God for giving me awesome parents who told me of you and loved me so kindly and wisely
Year 2- Thanks for my sister!
Year 3-Thanks for the Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins who bring such joy
Year 4- Thanks for the house I grew up in, particularly the huge backyard where I could run around, dream, make up stories, and talk to you
Year 5- Thanks for primary school- for the things you taught me and the lessons I learnt about life and the world you created
Year 6- Thanks for my Grandparents farm- a place where I experienced so much joy.
Year 7- Thanks for St Mary's and St Paul's where I had such fun at church and where I learnt so many amazing things about you and your son.
Year 8-Thanks for the imagination that you gave me, and the many fun years (still continuing) of making up stories
Year 9-Thanks for friends you gave me
Year 10-Thanks for the time you gave me in the states- the beautiful world of Madison that you decided in your Divine plan to share with me
Year 11-Thanks for the experience of living in another country- and the love you gave me starting then for people who are from countries other than Australia
Year 12- Thanks for the church I went to in America- particularly my Sunday School teacher Laura who helped me understand what it means that we are all sinners
Year 13- Thanks for High school. Even though it was a hard 6 years, I learnt so much and I grew so much and I am thankful for how you used it to shape me into the person that I am.
Year 14- Thanks for Youth Group- for the leaders, for the opportunities for ministry, for all the fun times, and for the friends.
Year 15- Thanks for Jesus! (That is relevant for every year- but I might as well stick it here, and 15 was a hard year and knowing that Jesus died for me was something that helped get me through it)
Year 16-Thanks for letting me go overseas to Europe. You have blessed me with so many special experiences and I am grateful.
Year 17- Thanks for Beach Mission! It was such a key time in my walk with you, the friends I made are so precious, and it was there that I realised I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling people about Jesus. What a blessing!
Year 18-Thanks for giving me a love of learning.
Year 19-Thanks for Uni. Thanks for that fun crazy time. Thanks particularly for the Christian Union I was apart of- for the fun, the friendships, and the Bible teaching and training which has made such a difference to my Christian life and service.
Year 20-Thanks for my friend Fi- thanks for the way you have used her over the years to be such a source of encouragement and fun!
Year 21-Thanks for teaching me that I should find my self-worth in you and not in other people (still learning that one- but 21 was a key year)
Year 22-Thanks for giving me jobs- allowing me to earn money. Thanks for the growing up that took place and the lessons I learnt.
Year 23-Thanks for introducing me to the most amazing man in the world. Thanks that (after a while!) he decided to ask me out. Thanks that despite my worries over the previous 22 years that you had it all figured out!
Year 24-Thanks for my marriage to Tim. Thanks that despite the fact that we are both sinners, that you have used us to grow each other. Thanks for all those amazing fun times.
Year 25-Thanks for the chance to do an apprenticeship at RMIT. It was just amazing to have people donate money so that I could spend my time reading the Bible with Uni-students and encouraging them in their faith. Thanks for the blessing of being trained by the gifted and godly Steve and Heather. I grew so much.
Year 26- Thanks for Scots Church- for all the things we learnt and the dear friends we made. It is such a blessing even now when we are far away that we have such caring lovely "couple friends" who welcome us back as if we never left.
Year 27-Thanks for Bible College. I still can't believe I got that one precious year of studying your word. Thanks for that unexpected Gift.
Year 28-Thanks for Chatswood Baptist and particularly the chance of getting to work there. Only you could work things out so well! Thanks for Children's ministry and making it fun as well as challenging
Year 29-Thanks for the way that despite hard things and trials and time away from family, that you have held me tight to you, and grown me in my faith.

Year 30
Plenty of things I could say- but as it's only been 11 and half hours (or less than an hour depending if you are going via the actual time of birth), I won't dwell on them ;)
But even though I don't know what this year holds- I know that it is in the hands of a creator who loves me.
Thanks God for being in control of my life.
I love you.
Amen
B

Melbourne Moment

I'm started doing the strangest thing.

When I draw into St Leonards station- I close my eyes just before we pull up.

You see, most of the time, in my day to day life- I don't ever think I'm in Melbourne. It's not that Sydney is not lots like Melbourne in lots of places- but the places I lived and worked in Melbourne and the places I live at and work at and visit in Melbourne are just so different.

But one day last week when I was pulling into St Leonard's station I had a weird moment. You see, for a second I thought I was pulling up to Box Hill station. Not that there is anything special about Box Hill station- nothing special other than the fact it is in Melbourne.

And so I've gotten into the strange habit of closing my eyes at that moment. Because a few seconds later I see the big St Leonard's sign and we come out the other side of the tunnel and I know I'm in Sydney. I try to saver my Melbourne moment just that little bit longer.

It's strange to be homesick when I'm going to Melbourne tonight. But short trips are funny. They are a taste, rather than a bite, of what it is like to live there. So it will be wonderful and unsatisfying.

Homesick can overwhelm if I let it. But I don't.

When I was a kid, we lived in the states for two years. When people ask me how I find it I say "Wonderful..." and then I have to pause and clarify, "Well, I was really homesick and didn't realise how good it was when I was there but I look back and it was great".

I was so homesick in the States- I feel a wasted what was a really unique, special time in my life.

I don't want to do that here.

I don't want to look back on four years of moaning and groaning.

I want to LIVE Sydney.

So I keep homesickness at bay.

But each day I go to work I close my eyes on the train. I remember how much I love Melbourne and I grieve a little. And then I get on with my life.
love B

Photos of my life Part 1

Well, one of the things that Tim and I bought with our airport voucher was a camera.
We are very excited about, and some of my excitement I have to say is that I can finally have photos on my blog. Not that I'm going to have many I'm sure- I'm just not a super photo person, but I am excited that at least you can see some pictorial evidence of my life.
I wanted to do a day in the life of Belinda, but of course I forgot to take photos for much of it- so here's just a taste!:

My train trip across the habour bridge. It isn't a particularly good photo but you get the ide

I don't know if you can tell- but the scary looking man at Luna Park Sydney is raising awareness of Men's Health this Movember :)
After Mainly Music on Wednesday myself and some of the church Mums who attend/help went out for Japanese. This is four year old Samuel trying to avoid getting his photo taken. Samuel is my good buddy- he's a shy little boy but he loves "Tim and Alinda". His Mum Nicole started coming to Mainly Music last year, and eventually became a Christian. She is getting Baptised this Sunday- which we are all very excited about!

This is where I spend most of the day- Chatswood Baptist Church. It's a wonderful place, and particularly a wonderful place to do kids ministry as it is something that the whole church cares about and is behind. This particularly day was spent on Mainly Music, Talking Nicole through what would be happening with her Baptism, emailing people about their involvement in ministry next year, and preparing for my last scripture lesson of the year.

The beautiful roses in the Memorial garden near the station- with a train behind. I'm just heading home after a very tiring day. Self Portrait on the train!

Oh, and on an unrelated note- here's a picture of my spunky husband taken by someone who actually is a photo person!

Love B

Slug Sluggard

As long time readers of this blog would note- one of the first rude shocks that awaited us on our arrival to Sydney was Cockroaches. Tim and I, it might surprise you, are not the worlds biggest fan of these little critters. In fact, we don't like them very much. And while my fear levels have diminished somewhat (through over exposure) we are very glad to find that for some reason, despite the hot weather, the cockroach population of Stanmore have decided against taking up residents at our house. We are not sure if it's because of our super sonic cockroach repelling beeping machine, or just because we don't leave food scraps around (as much).

But a new friend from the disgusting brotherhood of bugs has taken over.

Slugs!

Now, about 3 months ago, in the dead of winter we began to have slug sightings. Now, I have to admit that I don't like slugs very much. Strange hey, what's not to like? But seriously, the worst thing is that in order to kill them by squashing, you have to put up with a squelch. I hate the squelch.

Thankful the slug sightings have reduced, but we now have an even more disturbing problem.

Slug trails.

You know those shiny trails that slugs and snails leave on the ground that look kinda pretty in the sunshine? They don't look so pretty in your house. Particularly because you know exactly where the slugs have been hanging out while you've been sleeping

These are the sightings I've recorded so far:

-On the lino (not so bad)
-On the carpet (again, not so bad but...)
-On any tea-towel I leave on the kitchen bench
-On any sponge I leave in the sink
-On my cake cooling rack.

Does anyone know where I can get a super sonic slug repelling beeping machine?

Of course, I could just clean the kitchen more thoroughly so that the bugs won't in anyway be attracted to the bench?

But I'm a sluggard.
love B

How cool is this!

How cool is this?

Tim and I won a prize yesterday (well Tim won it but one-flesh and all that means I get to share!)

We get to have a shopping spree at Sydney Airport.

Tim and I were talking about how it's such an unusual, fun prize.

Because if we just won the money, we might just put it in savings, or put it towards some kind of regular expense (like paying for my new dust mite allergy)

If we had a shopping spree at a normal shopping centre we would probably buy a few treats but mainly practical stuff.

But the Airport doesn't do practical stuff.

It does designer clothes

It does fancy jewlergy

It does expensive sunglasses

It does funky electronic gagets.

So even though it would probably be better if we could use it for practical stuff, in some stage way its a treat that we can just use it on stuff we would ordinary never buy for ourselves.

So, Tim and I are going to set aside a day- where we will eat at the foodcourt, make our way around the airport- and spend up some free money.

Pretty cool hey!
love B
PS On a serious note we are very thankful to God for this surprise. It's been funny, as I've said previously I've been thinking lots about suffering and how it works, and the importance of not jumping to conclusions about why God does what he does. But when things like this happen- it's a nice reminder that God does like to give good things to his children. Sometimes it's tough things that make us grow more like him. But once in a while...it's something fun like this!

Dealing with uncertainty

I hate uncertainty.

I hate it with a passion.

Most of the time i deal with it, following my mothers advice and trying to see it as "an adventure".

Most of the time I tell myself that God is in control and that even if I don't know what is going to happen, God does and that should bring me comfort.

Most of the time I can cope with it.

Not yesterday.

Yesterday I spent the whole day stressing, assuming that it would be the day we would find out if College had a place for us to live next year. You see, they don't have enough for everyone, so you apply- write a letter about your circumstances and hope for the best.

I spent the whole day stressing, until I got the call from Tim saying that they couldn't tell us yet.

It's not just the housing thing. It's everything. So much uncertainty. In everything. My future plans always start with: "If this happens, then this". I hate it. And I couldn't cope.

I woke up this morning. Tim's sister and her husband were staying with us. It was fun. They really like the place that we live. I felt a bit better.

I was so stressed about where we would live when we first moved up. And this place has been a huge blessing.

(Sigh)

I hate uncertainty. Please God help me to keep trusting you through it. Amen

48 hours

Before I go to Melbourne:

-I need to cook dinner for 11 tweens/teens/us

-I need to shave my legs

-I need to take 9 teens/tweens to the movies

-I need to drop one teen off home

-I need to clean the house

-I need to clear out the fridge of perishables

-I need to dress for a wedding

-I need to buy a birthday present for my sister-in-law and her husband

-I need to empty the bin

-I need to go to a wedding, help set up flowers, and go to the reception.

-I need to send 3 work emails

-I need to do a load of washing

-I need to pack

-I need to sleep at least twice!

-I need to get up at around 5:30 to be ready to catch a plane at 7am

I need to do all these things. But before I do, I'm going to spend half an hour reading a book. I don't know if I have time.
But I don't care.

I really need to.
love B

Adopting a 23 year old male

Last Monday Tim and I adopted a 23 year old male.

Of course- that's not really what happened. Our friend was moving to Sydney for work- and asked if he could stay with us until he found a place to live. But to me it feels like we've adopted him.

There are real pluses to adopting one at such a late stage in life. He has already been house trained- he is a firm believer in the concept that the one who cooks shouldn't be the one to do the dishes (which as a the family cook I greatly approve of), and every time i turn my back- another surface has been whiped down. He's also a firm believer in Christ- which is a great encouragement to Tim and I as we've been prividged to witness God's work in his life from a baby Christian when we met him- to one of the most enthusiastic Christians you will ever see.

It's will be a big adjustment for Tim and I. We are so used to it being just us- so little things like having to get properly dressed before leaving our room, and having to share a television are very foreign concepts! But it is exciting too. Tim preached recently on 1 Peter 4 (have I mentioned recently that my husband is the best preacher in the world) and we were both challenged by the call to "Offer hospitality without grumbling". And a few weeks later- that is what we are doing!

Please pray that we will "offer hospitality without grumbling", that our friend will find a spiritual and physical home up here soon, and that through it all Tim and I will still have the "quality time" we need together.

Oh, and did i mention "FOUR WEEKS UNTIL WE ARE DOWN IN MELBOURNE. YAY!"
love B

Ready for a Holiday

I thought it was about time to do an update on my life.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That's pretty much how I'm feeling at the moment. This time next week I will be well into the throngs of our Church's Kids Club- which I am coordinating- and during which i know I will have a fantastic time. Why do I feel so frazled? Not because I don't think it will be good. It's going to be wonderful. But because there is so much to get done this week when it comes to just my normal end of term week- that holiday club on top of that makes me want to bang my head against the table!

It's been a hard term.

I still love my job, and I still have many things happening that bring me great joy. But I'm so busy and so weary. And when I'm weary I am easily discouraged. And Melbourne just seems so far away at the moment! There is no trip down planned until September and no current prospect of visitors before then :(

Basically what it comes down to is I hit the point of needing a holiday about three or four weeks ago. And that said holiday is still not for another week and a bit.

And until then?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
love B
PS Prayer would be appreciated

Soul Weary

I've been feeling very soul weary lately. We drove over one of my favourite bridges in Sydney last night, and I looked out at the beautiful night sky-line and felt...strange. Not sad, not happy, and there was a bit of missing Melbourne mixed in there. But most of all just tired.

I've been sick, and had lots of things to do. I've been under a lot of stress, and found it hard to switch off my brain.

When I'm soul weary I always turn to the Psalms.

The psalms are the natural place I always want to go to when I pick up my Bible. So normally when I pick my Bible up, I try to fight that temptation and read other things as well. But during weeks like this I know that what I need more than anything is the honest, raw, beautiful Psalms.

I love God. And it seems amazing that with the kind of job I have and the life I lead that I keep having to remind myself of him. Of his grace, of his Holiness, of his majesty and power. But life takes over and I find myself forgetting. Living as if his loving hand wasn't guiding and leading my every path. Living as if the ministry I was doing was totally in my weak, helpless hands. Living as if this world is all these is and that I don't have an eternity of joyful communion with him to look forward to.

So the Psalms are great. There is my God who controls the wind and the waves. There is the God who listens t0 David's pleas. There is the just God who will not let the wicked triumph. There is the loving God who casts my sins away from me. And there is my God who will be my strength and portion long after my flesh and heart have failed.

Please Pray that I will live my life and do my ministry in light of his greatness.

love B

Interesting Typo

Interesting Typo pointed out by my beautiful Sandy- in my last post I said that Uni students realistically only working 26 days a week! Actually, working 26 days a week is not something the ordinary Uni student does- though I wouldn't put it past my conscientious sister :)

And for a birthday Update- I am having a lovely day. I had the worlds BEST banana bread at Envy Cafe (a cafe which Tim doesn't like that much so it was a lovely Birthday concession), and then we had a picnic by the beach. I also had some nice phone chats with friends and family not to mention a very funky fruit hamper from Mum, Dad and Sandy. And my present from Tim? A T2 collection of sample teas. So exciting!

Now, back to my Nana nap!
love B

The Bitter-sweetness of Melbourne visits

Tim and I had a wonderful time in Melbourne.

Bec and Brads wedding was loads of fun, and it was so nice getting to hang out with many members of my dear in-law family.

But Melbourne visits are bitter sweet.

The more fun I have, the more sad it feels to go back to Sydney and to think through the many more months before we go back for good. It's not that I don't love Sydney. I do! But family is so precious and it is strange to be away from them for so long.

So, in honour of my discontentment- here are five things that I love about Sydney to help me to be thankful for what I do have:

-I love the train-trip home from my job. The beautiful Green hills of the North Shore. The glimpse I get of little harbours until...wait, there it is! The Sydney harbour in all its spender as I train my way over the bridge. Not to mention train seats that can face backwards or forwards by the pull of a handle. I don't normally change it but I appreciate that I can.
-I love my new Bible study. It's only been two weeks, but so far my study with other 2nd year working wives has been really enjoyable. We are study James and I've been so convicted so far. Gotta love being convicted by the word!
-I love my work and linked to that my church. It has been really great doing kids ministry, and I have particularly been enjoying seeing the inner workings of a local church. And I love the number of people I get to see every day who don't know God but are interested in getting to know him.
-I love where I live. I love the urban-dump to gentrified-hub that is the suburb of Stanmore. I love the cheap restaurants and great coffee-shops just up the road. I love that I have friends in my building and girly-chats whenever I need them
-I love the friends I've made here. God has blessed me so richly with some super-supportive people.

Thanks God for great times in Melbourne AND Sydney. Amen
love B