New Years Resolutions and the Fear factor

I have always been a resolution kind of person.  Even though I've always thought the whole NYE party thing was a bit silly, the idea of setting goals and working hard has always appealed to me.  I am not a naturally organised person, so having a few little goals to spur me on works really well.

2011 has been a tough year, and I am very, very happy to see the back of it.  My resolution for last year: Survive.  And I did it.  Just.

I really, really want 2012 to be a better year.  But, as God would ordain it- I am looking at a year full of uncertainty.  Church planting.  Sorting out a job.  New-but-old city.  Everything is familiar but different.  And so many people around me are going through changes that mean that relationships are changing as well.

My temptation is just to set the same low bar on next year, to just get through it.

But I don't want to!  I don't want to survive, I want to thrive!  I want to make the most out of this year, I want to make the most out of me that I can, no matter how much uncertainty rests ahead.  I want God to change me and grow me into the likeness of his son.

So, in honour of that wish- here are my NY resolutions- under the three themes of my blog

LIFE: I will learn how to cook pastry and I will overcome my fear of cooking sugar and learn to make things with toffee!  I will get to the end of each day with a tidy lounge room and kitchen.

WRITING: I will finish my novel, I will get some short stories published, I will get some manuscript advice, I will begin the process of getting my novel published.

FAITH: I will devote this year to Loving God will all my heart and soul and I will memorise the book of Mark.

I feel like the last two need a way of explanation.  Loving God will all my heart and soul is a commandment from God, and something that of course is on my to do list every year.  But one of my reflections as I end this year is that I don't enjoy God as I should.  God is so great and good, and I just don't appreciate him.  There is so much joy to be found in that relationship that I don't bother to access.  One of my favourite Psalms- number 73 says "Whom have I in heaven but you.  And the earth has nothing I desire besides you".  That is my dream for this year.  That my love and appreciation for God will grow to the extent that my joy in that relationship will rise above the tough things that will no doubt come next year.

Memorising Mark?  I wasn't sure if I should write that here, because it sounds a bit proud and show-offy.  But let me explain.

The last three years i have worked for a church and under my 'portfolio' so to speak has been encouraging Scripture memorising for Adults and kids.  Lots of people have commented to me through this process that they "find memorising verses from the Bible hard".  And I, with my natural talent for memorisation, didn't understand.  I could do it, why couldn't they.  Overtime I realised this wasn't fair.

About three months ago I decided to memorise part of Jonah as preparation for a Bible study.  I was absolutely amazed about how helpful it was for getting to know the passage really well.  It was by far the most helpful Bible study prep I had ever done.  But, to my amazement, it was also easy. I probably spent 1 hour learning one chapter over the space of three days.  It was alot more work than learning a verse, but it was manageable.

And I couldn't help thinking God has made me good at memorising his word.  And here I am showing off about the one verse I learn once a month.  I felt rebuked but also inspired.  How great would it be for my Christian walk if I knew a Gospel off my heart.  How helpful would it be for my ministry!

I'm really nervous!  It is a big ask.

But if my aim is to love God more- I think having such a big chunk of his Word in my head is a great place to start.

You might have noticed there are no specific mentions of Tim.  Of course I will aim to be a better wife and friend to him!  But it's my experience that loving God more will be the best thing for my marriage.  And the clean house won't do any harm either ;)
love BG

When life gets busy...

A few things happen when life gets busy.

Number One- fiction writing goes out the window. It's really sad, as I suspect my mental health would survive the busy-ness better if I could escape regularly from all the tasks spinning round in my head with a short trip to my fantasy world. Hoping that today will be the day to get back into it.

Number Two-Shopping goes out the window. By shopping I mean regular grocery shopping. Of course I still shop- otherwise Tim and i would be taking out every meal (that's just for the really, really busy times :). But it tends to me a quick duck to the shops after work to get something for that particular night. It is the breakfasts which suffer the most for this situation. Don't tell Tim, but I'm having Maggi noddles for breakfast this morning ;P

Number Three-The house. It is atrocious. Praise God busy time for me coincides with holidays for Tim- so it's not a total loss. If I can managed to put cloths in the washing machine and clear the dish rack, then generally speaking when I wake up/arrive home the washing is on the line and the dish rack is full again.

Number Four-Early nights and early mornings. Generally, when I'm busy when I wake up in the morning I can't get back to sleep, I'm thinking to much. It's a bizarre form of insomnia because for some reason those same thoughts didn't bother me when I originally went to sleep. So I get tired earlier so go to bed earlier, then wake up earlier again. Vicious cycle :)

Number Five-I can't wait, wait, wait for holidays!

love B
PS It's a totally stupid, particularly given that my family haven't even celebrated it for years and years themselves- but I always miss my Mum and Dad and Sister alot on Thanksgiving. We lived in the states for two years and I loved that holiday. For the first ten years or so back we used to have one ourselves. Poor Tim has had me groaning all week about Turkey and pumpkin pie. He tries to be sympathetic, but he just can't get passed the idea that pumpkin in a pie sounds disgusting. Oh sweet oblivion!

My little book

Earlier this week I opened my novel. For the first time in ages. I thought I'd check how long. I opened up the properties in the document to see when it was last accessed. April 29th. Yikes!

I think I've talked about this before- but the times when I'm writing I'm happy, and my periods of non-writing are often when I'm stress, overworked, or down. I don't know what comes first: Does writing make me happy, or do I only write when I'm happy?

Regardless of which is which- I want to write more :)

I printed out my story so I could have a read of it hard copy to start working out what needs to be added. It was trippy. I accidentally printed it out in booklet form. And you know what! It actually looks like a little book. I sat on the train reading it thinking- this feels like a book! A book that makes only a little sense because large chunks of the story haven't been finished yet- but a book nonetheless.

So what are the stats?
144 pages
40,895 words.

My aim for this month is to make the changes that I have written onto my hard copy, and to finish writing up everything in my notebook onto my computer copy. And to fill in the small holes in the first half of the story.

The second half of this year? Write the bulk of the second half of my story. A scary but exhilarating prospect.
love B

Flash back

Hello,
I am writing to you from the study in my parents house. In the house where I lived from the time my mother brought me home from hospital.

It's changed a little.

There are new rooms, there is a rather nice patio. And after 20 odd years of hints, there is finally a fireplace.

But some things haven't changed. My room is still blue- though it seems so much smaller with a big sofa bed and my sisters sewing things stacked on my old desk.

Yesterday I road in the car with my sister.

She tried to get me to listen to her alternative music.
Then she eventually gave in and we listened to Crowded House and Van Morrison which we both like.
We coughed in songs to block out the swear words.
We talked about life and God and friends.
I teased her about being a Melbourne Uni Alternative-hippy who scorns me for my "pop" music and doesn't buy retail.
She teased me about my inability to offer my assistance in housework until the job was already finished.

My life has changed so much in the last six years since I moved out. And many of the changes are very, very good.

But some things haven't changed.

It's lovely.
love B

Vomit Free since 2003

All this week their has been lots of discussion among Tim and I and friends about vomit. Tim was pretty sick this week- poor boy- and much of it happening while I was away at a meeting at church!

Tim has very sadly been telling people that before this he was "Vomit Free since 2003" (it was actually technically 2005 but I don't have the heart to remind him as it doesn't rhyme as well).

Anyway- at some stage during the week Tim was explaining how he didn't quite make it to the toilet once.

Tim: "I got it on the floor, i got it on the shower mat, I got it on the toilet seat, I got it in the bath"

Me: "WHAT! I've had a bath since then!"

Tim: (half sheepish and half cheeky) "Well, at least we know it's clean now!"
love B

Typical Monday

It's Monday 2:30pm.

I haven't yet gone for my walk

I still don't know if the people I invited to dinner are coming

I still haven't thought about dinner, which means i haven't given Tim the shopping list, which means he hasn't gone shopping yet.

I still haven't got the house clean enough for when people do come.

I still haven't started unpacking boxes so I can find the little book I need for Playgroup tomorrow.

I still haven't seen my friend who I was going to visit this Arvo. Now that I think about it- I still haven't text to see if she is still free to catch up anyway.

It's Monday and I'm recovering from a big Sunday.

Sometimes I feel lazy that I get so little done on Monday.

Except on Mondays. I'm too exhausted to think about it.

I'm so glad I'm still working only 4 days a week!
love B

Places

If there is one thing I hate more than cleaning it is packing!

And this pack will be one of the hardest of all.

Because we are moving from a ridiculously large three bedroom place with no cupboards to a tiny 2 bedroom place with a cupboard at every turn. So we are going to be throwing out so much stuff and I hate doing that! And I know no matter how much Tim convinces me to throw out, I will not throw enough out so when we get to the box-unpacking stage we will be throwing out even more stuff so that our study doesn't end up being the box/junk room.

But the other thing that will be hard is that we are leaving.

I am such a place person. I get attached to places. I love places. It's been over 12 years since my Grandparents sold their farm and yet I try not to thinking about it much even now because I ache so much for it. And even though I'm really excited about moving into College housing, my heart already aches for this place. For the high ceilings and the big windows. For the strange nooks and the musty smell. For the mess that as accumulated in a way that I'm happy with.

I'll miss the trip up to the laundry and the strange little car-park. I'll miss the check-out people at the local store who I see enough to have them smile when they see me walk in.

I'll miss my walk- under the railway line, pass the shops, up to Parramatta road and past the dress shops!

I'll miss Stanmore and even though it is within walking distance of where we will live it will not be the same.

And in two years time I will feel exactly the same about our tiny two bedder.

It's times like these when I need to remind myself that my home is in heaven. And one day I will go there and never have to leave (or pack!) again.
love B

Slug Sluggard

As long time readers of this blog would note- one of the first rude shocks that awaited us on our arrival to Sydney was Cockroaches. Tim and I, it might surprise you, are not the worlds biggest fan of these little critters. In fact, we don't like them very much. And while my fear levels have diminished somewhat (through over exposure) we are very glad to find that for some reason, despite the hot weather, the cockroach population of Stanmore have decided against taking up residents at our house. We are not sure if it's because of our super sonic cockroach repelling beeping machine, or just because we don't leave food scraps around (as much).

But a new friend from the disgusting brotherhood of bugs has taken over.

Slugs!

Now, about 3 months ago, in the dead of winter we began to have slug sightings. Now, I have to admit that I don't like slugs very much. Strange hey, what's not to like? But seriously, the worst thing is that in order to kill them by squashing, you have to put up with a squelch. I hate the squelch.

Thankful the slug sightings have reduced, but we now have an even more disturbing problem.

Slug trails.

You know those shiny trails that slugs and snails leave on the ground that look kinda pretty in the sunshine? They don't look so pretty in your house. Particularly because you know exactly where the slugs have been hanging out while you've been sleeping

These are the sightings I've recorded so far:

-On the lino (not so bad)
-On the carpet (again, not so bad but...)
-On any tea-towel I leave on the kitchen bench
-On any sponge I leave in the sink
-On my cake cooling rack.

Does anyone know where I can get a super sonic slug repelling beeping machine?

Of course, I could just clean the kitchen more thoroughly so that the bugs won't in anyway be attracted to the bench?

But I'm a sluggard.
love B

Medical Answers

I have just found out the the hives that I have been experiencing are due to dust mites.

Such a relief!

Such a relief that I don't have to give up any foods that I love :)


I went on the following website to work out what I should do- as my appointment with the dermitologist to talk about my results won't be for a few weeks yet.
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/

It is actually an awesome website. It has facts sheets on lots of different medical issues, and unlike most stuff on the internet it's usually researched based stuff.

But as I read the sheet I had all these little "kerching" sounds in my head- imagining the sound that old fashion cash registers made when they open. Because there will be some expenses involved.

At first- small simple ones:
-A micro fibre duster so that it traps dust and dust mights rather than letting them into the air like a feather one would.
-Dust mite resistant bed covers
-Washing bedsheets once a week with eucalyptus oil infused cleaning products (not really a kerching- but definately time consuming!)

And long term:
-Buy leather lounges
-Synthetic pillows and doona
-Venetian blinds
-Get rid of carpet where-ever we end up living.

But the plus!

Tim now needs to do all the vaccuming- with me safely out of the house!
:)
love B