Reflection on the term that's been

Technically the term is not over yet- I still have two playgroups, several meetings, a Bible study and a scripture Easter lesson to go!

But I've spent much of the weekend thinking about the term that's been and I thought I'd share a little (don't worry, not everything!) of what's been coming up.

As I approached this year i was excited. For the first time in many years, with the exception of moving house- I was hitting a year without major changes. I normally hate change, and so I thought that it was going to be an easy year start.

It wasn't.

For a start, my job ramped up a notch. Normally when I tell people that I work 4 days a week Tim pipes up with the quip "No, you work full-time, your just paid four days". I normally disagree, but I've had to confess that this year- due to some ministry commitments that I have somewhat willingly taken on- it is definitely heading to at the least 4.5 days, some weeks 5.

Plus, to my complete shock, the fact that there wasn't any changes was hard.

So many people in my life are going to changes. Good changes. Exciting new jobs, changes to their families, whatever it might be. And in many ways I was feeling like i was being left behind- like my life and my world were stagnant. Envy- the sin monster who is my most violent of foes- reared up more overwhelming than ever.

It's been a hard term.

But I've been learning alot.

Unsurprisingly I suppose- the hard things have been nosing me toward God, and I've actually seen my trust in God grow. My huge fears about the future and what we might be doing are still there, but they now stand along side a strange new feeling, a sense that maybe uncertainty and suffering are okay- if they are for Jesus.

And I've rediscovered in the last 4 weeks a love for my job.

As term began I knew I was leading a Bible study- and I knew I didn't have time for it. I felt a bit resentful that once again something had fallen to me to do- because there was no one else. My feelings where not helped when the first week for various good reasons- no one came. I sat in the room where the Bible study was suppose to be and managed just to hold in my tears.

The next week Bible study happened. And it was wonderful!

I forgot how much I loved leading Bible study. I forgot how special it is to sit down with other Christian women and see what God has to say to us. In my frustration at the situation I forgot the privileged that it is to serve.

So those are some of the things that have been going on. I am very tired and weary, and looking forward to the holidays so I can stop, and work four days for a change :)
So tired in fact, that I can't think of a good end to this post. So...
love B