Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The benefits of a four monthly catch up

Last Saturday, I went out to dinner with my sister Sandy and our second cousin Anna.  We did this for the first time in June, and we had such a lovely time that we decided to do it again.

This post is not about food, but I can't talk about Sandy and Anna without telling you about my new favourite restaurant.  Mamasita's in Colin's St Melbourne is just the most amazing place.  I am a Mexican lover from way back, a somewhat frustrated Mexican lover as my beloved is not that much of a fan, and is even less of a fan now than when I married him because I used to subject him to at least one Mexican dish per week, until caving under protests.  Mamasita's is a Tapasish place, and it highlights the very best of Mexican, not the processed Old Elpaso stuff (which I don't mind anyway), but the fresh lime and coriander and corn, the slow cooked meat, the lovely spices that aren't too overwhelming.  I went there first with Sandy and Anna.  It is usually packed out, we arrived at 5:30, and were told to come back in a hour.  It is expensive- it's the kind of place I'll go for my birthday or a special occasion.  But I love, love, love it!  I'm getting hungry and excited just thinking about it.

Anyway, end of rant.

Sandy and Anna and I grew up together.  Along with several other couples and their kids, we used to go away and spend Easter together at my Grandparents farm.  We all got on well, but despite many years of little contact, Anna is the one that we are the closest too.  Our Dad's were great buddies growing up, and if something had happened to my parents, it would have been Anna's parents who would have been our guardians.  I often wonder if the reason we enjoy each other company is because our parents are so similar.

Anyway, on Saturday we went to another great restaurant Mamak's (a Malaysian restaurant that is famous in Sydney and has just made its way onto Lonsdale st).  It was lovely to catch up and see what we had all been up to.  But I realised what a help it can be to have a 4 month catch up.  It reminds you of what you were thinking and planning and dreaming 4 months ago, and how life has ended up.

Anna asked how my book was going.

Oh dear...

Of course, in June, it was all about my novel, as I desperately tried to get it finished before starting work.

But the last four months...

Well, the biggest problem was what happened several weeks after our last catch up.

I lots my notebook.

I don't know if other people who aren't writers quite understand how heart-breaking this is (though I guess Anna and Sandy were pretty horrified).  But for me, it was one of the most debilitating, horrible moments of the novel writing process.

The not so frantic search "It must be somewhere".  The somewhat more urgent "I need to find it, where could it be".  Retracing my steps.  Searching under the car seat.  Madly cleaning the house.  Looking in places I know it can't be but wanting to find it so bad that I look there anyway.

Horrible.

And I can't find it.  I suspect, maybe next year I will find it.  But by then, it will be too late.

And what was in my notebook that was so important?  In the late days of June I sat down and read through my entire novel, and wrote down in my novel exactly what I needed to do to get it up to scratch.  It was not a fun process but it was necessary and satisfying to get it done.

And now, all that work is lost.  I could be thankful there was little original words in my notebook lost.  But even so...

It took about a month before I would even look at my novel, I was so distraught.  Eventually I started writing a little bit, but I was busy and discouraged and it didn't happen very often.  And finally, about 1.5 months ago, I printed out my novel and started again.  Painstakingly writing down what needed to change.  I was no where near as through as I could have been, I just don't have the heart for it.

Anyway, back to dinner.  So I began to talk to Anna and Sandy about my book.  And they were great.  Because they still remembered the enthusiastic Belinda who felt so close to finishing.  They were still keen to read it, they still believed in it.  And slowly, as they talked about, so did I.

As I looked through it after the discussion, I didn't feel like it was very good.  But that's not the point.  I don't have the perspective to know if its good or bad, and I often end up changing my mind as I read.  But it needs to be finished.

And I'm going to do it.  Sans notebook.
BG

1 comment:

  1. I've never attempted a novel, but whenever I lose notes to something much less involved (like when the new Blogger interface reacts badly with my iPad and I lose an entire completed post in the draft window) I get a bit distraught. I can only imagine how much more distressing it would be to lose notes to a novel.

    But after I get over the devastation of losing some writing, if it was any good, I want to go back and write again. The funny thing is, the second one (written without the original notes) is always better than the first.

    May it be so with your novel. :-)

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