What to say?

I've been reflecting quite alot on every one's reaction to our sad news.

One of the most common comments is "I don't know what to say". I think part of that is that people don't know what to say that might help or might make us feel better. But the truth is- from my experience anyway- I really appreciate people saying something, even if its just that.

It's funny because I look back and I realise that most people I know who have miscarried, I have heard second hand, and didn't actually contact them and say something. Now I wish I had.

We love our baby. And we are really hurting. And it's great having people acknowledge that, acknowledge that he was important and therefore our pain is natural and right. I want to talk about it, and appreciate people giving me freedom to process with them.

Some people did the "Don't worry, you'll get pregnant again, then this won't matter". I know what people are trying to do (make us feel better about the future), but I don't want that to be true! I want my baby to still be important even if (God willing) we do have a baby who lives longer than 9 weeks. So rather than down-playing what has happened, I'd rather people let us be sad.

One of the most comforting things has been people sharing their own stories. I feel like there are all these extra kids that I never even knew existed, who are still precious to their parents and are now precious to me too. I look forward to going to heaven and meeting them all.

Thanks for all your prayers. I'm still really struggling to cope with everyday life and I need God's help so desperately. It seems like every time I start feeling better something happens or I hear some news which just floods me again with the "why, why, why". Please keep praying for me.
love B