Enevitable Change Funk

I've been in a funk of late.

Easily loosing it emotionally.  Snappy and less sensitive with Tim.  Less motivated with house chores/everything.

It was only today it hit me.

The change factor.

When I was about 3 months out of getting married, I fell apart.  Tim was actually really worried, who was this crazy emotional women who had taken over from the lovely lady he proposed to!  I still remember on a Sunday morning  at that time, getting ready to clean the unit I was sharing with a friend.   Mum came over.  I burst into tears, she ripped the vacuum out of my hands, sat me on the couch, and did the vacuuming for me.  What a Mum!

But the most valuable thing was that she commented that of course I was loosing it.  I was about to go through a change.  I always struggle in the lead up to a change.  "Been like this since you were 4 years old" said Mum.

For her it was an "Of course" moment, but for me it was a huge break-through.

Change totally freaks me out emotionally and I need to be aware of that and be prepared for it.

Tim has taken this news on board, and done a fabulous job of talking me through and encouraging me through change.    And today he gave me another breakthrough moment when he commented that of course I was emotional, I was getting ready for change.

As far as change goes- moving cities, church planting, and leaving one job to an unknown future is pretty high up there on the change-odometer.

One comment Tim often makes to comfort me through change is that I am actually a great hand at dealing with it.  I've been through tonnes of changes in the last 7 years, and most of the changes have actually been good/positive ones, which I've dealt with well.  Almost as if I put all the angst into the lead up and then cope fine at the change itself.

I've actually started to think maybe I am not such a change hater after all.

But this month, that same little 4 year old peaks out her ugly head and throws her usual change tantrum.

Please pray that I will cope okay over the next few months, and that the changes will be good.
Love B