This week is the week of the due date for our baby that never got to be due.
It is such a hard, messy, sad, horrible week. It is a week of remembering. It is a week of tears. It is a week of love that is still there even after our baby is gone from this earth. Love that will probably always be there.
It is a week of asking Why? Why? Why? Of imagining a life that is so different to what is actually here.
And it's a week of realising just how empty a pair of arms can feel.
love B
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Two terms of Playtime to Go!
We've hit the "5 months to go" mark in the previous week.
Quite extrodinary. Really, moving to Melbourne seems to get closer and closer every day ;)
But of course there is a lot of sadness, particularly when I think of saying goodbye to the kids and families I've been working with over the last three years.
I was thinking of some of the most memorable Playgroup kid moments (warning- some of these are repeats from other posts):
-Little Lisa, such a gorgeous little treasure! If she sees me sitting down will come up behind me and pretend to "cut" my hair. "It's too longer, it's too longer" she says, as she pretends to cut it with some fake sissors from the playgroup doctors kit. "Stay still" she says, if I move my head to much, in a very hairdressery voice.
-Little Hayley, after struggling to say my name for nearly a year, finally calls me "Aunty Bananna"
-Ren, who insisted for a while on "Playing Belinda" before meals, which meant saying the following "Dear God, thank you for friends and food. If you haven't paid for this term, please see me afterwards. Amen"
-Little Max, with his gorgeous big blue eyes. On the week of his birthday (when we did a cake for him) he said "I love you Belinda, you are the best Belinda ever". Another time he said to me "I like you Belinda" before saying quietly to himself "Beautiful Belinda".
-Oli and Matty- who like to play "Aunty Bawinda" at home, which basically means getting out their teddie bears and ordering them to sing and dance.
-Shy little Harper, who will quite often announce (after she has warmed up a bit) "Look I can hop". And so she does and soon she has the 7 or 8 other kids hoping around in front of me. So gorgeous.
-Nathaniel- whose Mum will suggest he gives me a hug. He will walk towards me, and as I drop down and open my arms, he will bolt in the other direction- laughing hesterically at his own little joke.
-Little Hanna, who spends all week singing playgroup songs at home. When she is tired and struggling to get out of bed her Mum says "maybe you are too tired for playgroup". She shakes her head and says "No, we have to go. Belinda is WAITING for me".
-And little Xavier, who at 6 months old always gives me the biggest grins whenever I smile at him.
So special to be involved in these moments :)
Belinda
Quite extrodinary. Really, moving to Melbourne seems to get closer and closer every day ;)
But of course there is a lot of sadness, particularly when I think of saying goodbye to the kids and families I've been working with over the last three years.
I was thinking of some of the most memorable Playgroup kid moments (warning- some of these are repeats from other posts):
-Little Lisa, such a gorgeous little treasure! If she sees me sitting down will come up behind me and pretend to "cut" my hair. "It's too longer, it's too longer" she says, as she pretends to cut it with some fake sissors from the playgroup doctors kit. "Stay still" she says, if I move my head to much, in a very hairdressery voice.
-Little Hayley, after struggling to say my name for nearly a year, finally calls me "Aunty Bananna"
-Ren, who insisted for a while on "Playing Belinda" before meals, which meant saying the following "Dear God, thank you for friends and food. If you haven't paid for this term, please see me afterwards. Amen"
-Little Max, with his gorgeous big blue eyes. On the week of his birthday (when we did a cake for him) he said "I love you Belinda, you are the best Belinda ever". Another time he said to me "I like you Belinda" before saying quietly to himself "Beautiful Belinda".
-Oli and Matty- who like to play "Aunty Bawinda" at home, which basically means getting out their teddie bears and ordering them to sing and dance.
-Shy little Harper, who will quite often announce (after she has warmed up a bit) "Look I can hop". And so she does and soon she has the 7 or 8 other kids hoping around in front of me. So gorgeous.
-Nathaniel- whose Mum will suggest he gives me a hug. He will walk towards me, and as I drop down and open my arms, he will bolt in the other direction- laughing hesterically at his own little joke.
-Little Hanna, who spends all week singing playgroup songs at home. When she is tired and struggling to get out of bed her Mum says "maybe you are too tired for playgroup". She shakes her head and says "No, we have to go. Belinda is WAITING for me".
-And little Xavier, who at 6 months old always gives me the biggest grins whenever I smile at him.
So special to be involved in these moments :)
Belinda
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Kids Club
There is something really special about working with a team to share the gospel. Kids Club this year has once again been a huge effort and lots of work. But I've been so encouraged.
I've been encouraged by our teens who are putting up their hands and doing a remarkable job of not just being helpers, but leaders. Having lead most of them for three years, and having got them "tagging" along when they were in year seven, it is great to see them in year 9 really taking initiative.
I've been encouraged by people who would never call themselves 'kid' people, who non-the-less volunteer and come along and make a real contribution. Even taking off work so they can help!
I've been encouraged by the servant hearted nature of everyone- who are so ready to stop and help a kid that's sad, or to drop everything and set up a game, or tidy a room.
And I've been encouraged by everyone's thoughtfulness. Today because I had said the day before I had a sore throat, one of the leaders made lemon and honey drinks for everyone in the morning. A lady in the kitchen bought ingredients and made wraps for every member of our team for lunch today, with no prompting- just out of the kindness of her spontaneous heart.
It can be scary leaving a ministry job, wondering how things will go without me. I need to keep remembering that God is in control and he is the one who provides and grows people.
But I'm also reminded that am leaving a committed group of Godly, fun, special people. The kids club is in some wonderful hands.
love B
I've been encouraged by our teens who are putting up their hands and doing a remarkable job of not just being helpers, but leaders. Having lead most of them for three years, and having got them "tagging" along when they were in year seven, it is great to see them in year 9 really taking initiative.
I've been encouraged by people who would never call themselves 'kid' people, who non-the-less volunteer and come along and make a real contribution. Even taking off work so they can help!
I've been encouraged by the servant hearted nature of everyone- who are so ready to stop and help a kid that's sad, or to drop everything and set up a game, or tidy a room.
And I've been encouraged by everyone's thoughtfulness. Today because I had said the day before I had a sore throat, one of the leaders made lemon and honey drinks for everyone in the morning. A lady in the kitchen bought ingredients and made wraps for every member of our team for lunch today, with no prompting- just out of the kindness of her spontaneous heart.
It can be scary leaving a ministry job, wondering how things will go without me. I need to keep remembering that God is in control and he is the one who provides and grows people.
But I'm also reminded that am leaving a committed group of Godly, fun, special people. The kids club is in some wonderful hands.
love B
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