'Fraidie-Cat

Most of the time, when people talk to me about money, about how we survive- I give a glib answer about how it's not so bad, and how God has provided.

But I think I give an impression that I am someone who is incredibly trustful of God to provide for me everything I need.

That's not true. I'm a stressor, and I am a particular stressor about money. It is true that God has provided, he has done amazing, amazing things to look after us, such as finding us great places to live, providing generous supporters at various times in our ministry training, and he unexpectedly handed me my job when I was least expecting it.

But there are times when I just don't trust him at all.

One of those times was Saturday night.

That day, when Tim was away at a men's convention, I had opened up our latest credit card bill. I don't know why it didn't hit me then, maybe because it was a beautiful day and I was happy and content, and not overtired and grumpy and stressed about the ministry day ahead.

But that night- the flood gates opened.

You see the credit card bill was (almost) exactly equal to the amount in our savings account. As I told Tim about the amount- I began to cry.

I began to cry because for the first time since we'd gotten married- we weren't going to have any savings. Savings for me were such a safety net. Oh well, I would say, even if x or y happens, at least we have savings.

Tim and I talked and talked and talked about it. He tried to comfort me, he tried to remind me of God's goodness to us. He tried to talk about how it would all be okay, that God would provide as he always did. He said, as he always says, that if I can't handle it we don't have to do this- he can go back to town-planning for a few years, or even forever.

And through out our conversation I kept interrupting him to yell at God, to say, I just can't take it anymore Father, why does everything have to be so hard!

The next day Tim was unexpectedly given his check for his student minister position at church. It will clear before the credit card bill comes out- meaning that my fear of having no savings will not eventuate- we will have more savings at the end of next week than we did at the start of this week.

I think sometimes when you are a women preparing to be a ministry wife- people look up to you and go "Wow, I could never do that". They think of the things that I am giving up- perhaps owning a big house, or even ever owning a house, the financial security, knowing where we will be living and having a choice in the matter. They think I must be really brave and really strong in my faith.

I'm not brave, I'm one of the biggest fraidie-cats I know. And there are times when my faith is as small as a mustard seed.

But I have a great God who somehow in his grace and goodness- provides for me anyway.
love B

Vomit Free since 2003

All this week their has been lots of discussion among Tim and I and friends about vomit. Tim was pretty sick this week- poor boy- and much of it happening while I was away at a meeting at church!

Tim has very sadly been telling people that before this he was "Vomit Free since 2003" (it was actually technically 2005 but I don't have the heart to remind him as it doesn't rhyme as well).

Anyway- at some stage during the week Tim was explaining how he didn't quite make it to the toilet once.

Tim: "I got it on the floor, i got it on the shower mat, I got it on the toilet seat, I got it in the bath"

Me: "WHAT! I've had a bath since then!"

Tim: (half sheepish and half cheeky) "Well, at least we know it's clean now!"
love B

The Power of the Word

This week has been a wonderful ministry week- even if its been not so good on the home-front (I've had a poor sick vomiting Tim on my hands).

After 6 months of trying I've got to meet up to read the Bible with two Mum's who became Christians in the last 12-18 months. One of the surprises I had was how hard it is to pin a Mum down for coffee and Bible study- even when their child is in Day-care or being minded by someone else. Mum's are so busy even when the kids aren't there, it can be hard in their minds to justify the "luxury" of sitting down with someone to read the Bible.

But I wanted to share one story in relation to one of the Mums.

She became a Christian through someone else- about 4 weeks after I met her and she started coming to church. It was really exciting. And then her 1 year old daughter, who had been living with her mum, came to live with her.

Life became (quite understandably) crazy, as she got re-used to being a full-time Mum, and a functional single one at that (her husband works in another country and only can visit once in a while).

I really wanted to encourage her in her faith but she didn't feel up to coming to church or Bible study or Bible reading or anything.

I was despairing a bit- how could i help her in this difficult stage, and convince her that it was important?

I was trying to work out how best to encourage her one day when myself, her and her daughter went out for lunch. She was really stressed and so I pulled out the Bible and read the bit in Philippians about not being anxious and praying and I explained how this helped me when I was stressed to remember that the best thing to do when you are stressed is to pray and hand it to God. She liked it so much that I copied it out on a piece of paper with a nice picture for her to stick up on her wall.

And as the months progressed she kept talking about how much it helped her, when she was stressed she would look at the verse and remember to pray, and remember God was working in her. She used it so much she learnt it by heart and every week or so she would have different things she had learnt from it that she wanted to tell me.

It was excited to see even a few verses of the Bible changing someone life.

Now we are actually reading the Bible together once a fortnight. It's so exciting seeing how hungry she is to read the Bible and to have God change her to be more like Jesus.
Yay! Praise God for great ministry weeks.
love B

Funnest Game Ever

Now- to start with, I know that Funnest is not a real word, and though I don't think either of them actually used that word- it makes me think of Elle Wood from Legally Blond or Cher from Clueless. I feel like such a twit when i use it normally.

But sometimes it just fits.

We had our 3rd year weekend away this last weekend. College weekends away are really special- particularly this one as rather than going home to our our separate lives- we are going home to College accommodation- so many people now living just down the road!

I caught up with some old friends- most my age- but as is often my way I made a few friends under 5 as well. Playing with kids on weekend away is a win-win because not only do I get to spend time with some gorgeous kiddies, but I make the parents really happy by giving them a break. My 2.75 year old buddy Archie is normally not the most affectionate of kiddies, but on the weekend he was on my lap singing to himself "bee, bee, bee, bee. bee, bee, bee, bee". Pretty cute.

Anyway- on to the Funnest thing.

We had a movie trivia night. Now Trivia is one of my things. I love it- and even though I don't know movies that well- I had a blast.

But how cool is this as an activity!

Each team was given a budget of 30 million. We were then given a list of famous actors, places, prop options (like a pirate ship or a light sabre), and extras. Using this list and staying under budget- we needed to write a summary of what our film would be.

I was totally in my element!

Myself, and the two other members of my team who like this kind of thing sat down for 15 minutes and 'wrote' our movie. It ended up being the story of Elvira (played by Judy Dench), who was dumped by Edward Cullin, and who turns into a leather clad zombie-killing biker chick- who eventually falls for a zombiafied Hugh Jackman. They finally get revenge against Edward and his zombie girlfriend Hilary Duff by murdering them at an Areosmith concert.

It was the Funnest.
love B

Typical Monday

It's Monday 2:30pm.

I haven't yet gone for my walk

I still don't know if the people I invited to dinner are coming

I still haven't thought about dinner, which means i haven't given Tim the shopping list, which means he hasn't gone shopping yet.

I still haven't got the house clean enough for when people do come.

I still haven't started unpacking boxes so I can find the little book I need for Playgroup tomorrow.

I still haven't seen my friend who I was going to visit this Arvo. Now that I think about it- I still haven't text to see if she is still free to catch up anyway.

It's Monday and I'm recovering from a big Sunday.

Sometimes I feel lazy that I get so little done on Monday.

Except on Mondays. I'm too exhausted to think about it.

I'm so glad I'm still working only 4 days a week!
love B

Fun Stats

The title of this post is in honour of my sister- a soon to be Dr of the much maligned discipline of Statistics!

One of the drama's of going to Melbourne for a month is working out how best to work on my story. Do I put it on a memory stick. Do I put it on the laptop? Do I write in a notebook? Of course before I leave I have big dreams that I will be using much of my holiday time to work on my story.

Normally it doesn't happen.

This time I did do quite a bit of work on my story, writing in a notebook and thinking hard as Tim and I traveled around New Zealand. Blessed man that he is- Tim was quite happy to spend from half an hour to 2 hours talking about my story most days of our trip, and even gave me a special notebook and pen for Christmas to take on our trip!

But I couldn't remember whether I had actually used the lap-top to record my story, and therefore whether I needed to take the study computer copy of my story and replace it with my laptop copy of my story (confusing hey!). So I went onto the laptop, opened the document, and looked in the property section, to find out that on Dec 20th I did indeed open up my story- and modify it. It turns out that lots of information about my story had also been stored

Which leads me to my fun stats.

Did you know:

I started my novel (in its current form) on the 10th of July, 2007
It has been revised 191 times
The total editing time has been 4400 minutes (73 hours)

It currently has:
118 pages
1016 paragraphs
34,045 words!

Still lots to do, but cool to see none the less!
love B