As it's been a long time since I wrote on this blog, I wasn't particularly worried about "updating" my life, because to be perfectly honest I didn't think anyone was still reading anyway! But Kate (who was wondering what on earth happened to me) was curious for an update and the more I thought about it the more I realised that many of my friends don't necessarily know the details of the exciting first half of last year.
So I thought I would record it, not just for those who are curious but also so that I have a permanent record of that time. Not that I am likely to forget!
It all began with our twenty week scan.
Leading into the twenty week scan there were two questions. The first was of course "Are they healthy?" This was less of a concern for us, because two weeks previously I had a slight bleed and had gone in for an emergency scan. Both boys were alive and kicking. So the second question was much more the centre of our minds: What was the gender of the babies?
The U/S tech would go down in the history of our family as "The horrible one". She had limited social skills and was very brash. She did lots of scanning and commented that one of the babies (the higher baby) was smaller than the other. "Is that something to worry about?" we asked. I don't remember how she answered but it was very vague, and gave us the impression that while it wasn't ideal it wasn't something to worry about. Near the end of the scan we asked "What's the gender?" We expected her to get her wand back out but she said briskly "Oh, you want to know the Gender? Two boys". "You don't need to check?" I asked and she laughed and said "I knew within five seconds". She then left the room and Tim and I just stared at each other. I don't know why but we were in shock. Two boys?
She came back in and asked "When are you seeing your doctor?" Two days time we told her. She said okay and we left, excited to tell friends our surprising news.
So two days later when we came in to see our doctor, we did not think for a second that we would have bad news.
He asked if we knew that Baby B was small. We said yes, but said that we knew it wasn't a problem. He gave us a look you never want to see a doctor give you and said, yes, it's a problem. Baby B was 2 weeks smaller than he should be. That was a pretty serious size discrepancy and suggested he could be sick. The doctor told us his blood flow and heart-beat were good, so it was unlikely he was going to die in the next week or so, but there was a good chance that he wouldn't make it.
Even now as I write this I can still see that room. The bed, the blood pressure machine, Dr T with his round glasses and sad face.
Tim asked what were the chances that he wouldn't make it. The Doc resisted giving a number until Tim insisted and he said there was a 30-50% chance that we would loose baby B. We would come in for an ultra-sound two weeks later and we would know more then.
How do you process that?
I left the room in tears. We both couldn't believe it. We loved these babies so much. We were so excited for them, everyone was so excited. And we might loose one. We couldn't bare the thought.
We told a few people our news (as well as our family) but decided to keep the news fairly private. This was hard, because everyone still talked about the boys in an excited fashion. But in the end that was good. Because I found after the initial shock wore off, I didn't want to dwell on what might happen. I couldn't face the thought of loosing my precious little boy, and so I just didn't. He had to be okay, he just had to make it. So I just held onto that thought, and told him every day that he had to keep growing. And I prayed like I'd never prayed before.
And two weeks later we went in for another scan. A specialist came in to talk to us, and she had good news. Baby B had caught up a little. He was now just 8 days behind. He still was very small, and there was a good chance this pregnancy would end early but the chances of his survival had improved drastically. It was such an answer to prayer. We were so happy, and declared that lovely specialist our new favourite person!
We were now on fortnightly scans and doctors appointments. Time ticked by and every week was another victory, every scan a wonderful reason to celebrate. Because every healthy week in the womb meant a greater chance of healthy babies. 24 weeks, 25, 26, 27, 28 (this was the point that the doctor said he would be happy to deliver if Baby B was in trouble, so this was a huge week for us), 29, 30 (we started 3 weekly scans at this point because Baby B was still so small), 31.
And at 31 weeks, and 4 days, the drama started again...
BG
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
The Lie of a Productive Day
Yesterday was a very different day for me. Spending the day with my Dad meant that I was spared the bulk of my usual child-minding duties.
I did some thinking about some ministry things I needed to organise.
I wrote and sent an email to someone at church.
I started collating photos together for a photo book I'm creating.
I organised some things for the boys first birthday party.
Hey, I even started a blog post ;)
And all day I kept thinking: "Wow, what productive days I have when I don't have to look after the boys as much"
But at some stage during the day I began to realise that these thoughts were wrapped up in a lie.
The lie that a day of looking after twin baby boys is somehow unproductive.
You see, a normal day for me does not involve important emails, or organising, or getting through tasks on my to do list. If I can get one thing done each day then that is pretty great.
But the lie is that the time with the boys is not productive.
As I feed and change and dress I am keeping them alive and healthy. As I play and talk and laugh I am helping their emotional development. As I speak I am teaching them language. As I read to them I am sharing a love of literature. As I walk them though the neighbourhood I am helping them to see and understand the world. Through it all I am showing them that they are very love.
And that doesn't even include the more deliberate instruction that are through the day. The prayers that I pray, the stories that I read, the general words about God and his role in this world that they are so enthusiastically taking in. True, at ten months they are not necessarily understanding what I say or mean but it's all practice, practice for me and practice for them. Practice at letting God be talked of in everyday life (Deut 11).
What a productive time it is!
It reminds me of the lie I used to find myself caught up in when I worked in ministry. Organising a meeting, finishing a roster, writing a Bible study. I felt very productive as I did them, and of course they were important. Yet sitting down with someone and reading the Bible often did not. It wasn't urgent, it wasn't measurable. But I knew from my own experience and from watching others who I had the privilege to teach that it made the world of difference. One hour with someone one to one was as significant and important as standing up before a crowd to speak.
Time given to fostering relationships doesn't always seem productive.
But the truth is that relationship time is often the most productive of all.
BG
I did some thinking about some ministry things I needed to organise.
I wrote and sent an email to someone at church.
I started collating photos together for a photo book I'm creating.
I organised some things for the boys first birthday party.
Hey, I even started a blog post ;)
And all day I kept thinking: "Wow, what productive days I have when I don't have to look after the boys as much"
But at some stage during the day I began to realise that these thoughts were wrapped up in a lie.
The lie that a day of looking after twin baby boys is somehow unproductive.
You see, a normal day for me does not involve important emails, or organising, or getting through tasks on my to do list. If I can get one thing done each day then that is pretty great.
But the lie is that the time with the boys is not productive.
As I feed and change and dress I am keeping them alive and healthy. As I play and talk and laugh I am helping their emotional development. As I speak I am teaching them language. As I read to them I am sharing a love of literature. As I walk them though the neighbourhood I am helping them to see and understand the world. Through it all I am showing them that they are very love.
And that doesn't even include the more deliberate instruction that are through the day. The prayers that I pray, the stories that I read, the general words about God and his role in this world that they are so enthusiastically taking in. True, at ten months they are not necessarily understanding what I say or mean but it's all practice, practice for me and practice for them. Practice at letting God be talked of in everyday life (Deut 11).
What a productive time it is!
It reminds me of the lie I used to find myself caught up in when I worked in ministry. Organising a meeting, finishing a roster, writing a Bible study. I felt very productive as I did them, and of course they were important. Yet sitting down with someone and reading the Bible often did not. It wasn't urgent, it wasn't measurable. But I knew from my own experience and from watching others who I had the privilege to teach that it made the world of difference. One hour with someone one to one was as significant and important as standing up before a crowd to speak.
Time given to fostering relationships doesn't always seem productive.
But the truth is that relationship time is often the most productive of all.
BG
Monday, December 31, 2012
2013- the year of surviving and enjoying (and some news!)
Happy New Year!
2012 has been a massive year. Tim and I got together for a coffee and a year's "debrief" yesterday and were laughing at just how big it's been. Changing cities, moving house, starting a new church, me starting a new job. It has been massive. It's hard to sum up the year, it has had many very tough moments. But we ended up declaring it "the year of answered prayer". The church, despite a very slow start, is going really well, and we have been astonded by the many answered prayers about church that we have had in the last term of the year.
And probably the biggest answered prayer is that we are pregnant. With Twins.
It was so overwhelming how we found out. We had a very early scan because of our history at 6 weeks. There is it, on the screen, a very obvious baby and a very clear heart beat. Tim and I couldn't stop grinning at each other...until the doctor said "That's unusual?"
"What!" we both cried in a panic at his thoughtless comment. He apologised saying "Sorry, not bad, just surprising. There is something else there". And then he moved the wand and there was another, tiny, tiny sack with a shape in it. I knew, from my obsessive googling, that it was the shape of a 5 week old baby. There was no heart beat. Our doctor said the most likely situation was that our second baby had died and that was why it was so small. But he also said there was a very slight chance that we had two babies and one was just a week behind and would catch up.
And two weeks later, when we again sat in that same room, there they both were, but this time there were two heart-beats. We were so very happy and grateful.
I am currently 16 and a half weeks pregnant. Our 12 week scan was fantastic, with both babies looking well. I'm definately feeling what I assume is movement, though its not yet reached a stage of proper kicks. Our families are over the top excited, as are many of our friends. We are so very thrilled, though still getting our heads around our family expanding so rapidly.
I have been well, though I have Gestational Diabetes. It's actually been incredible stressful, particularly as the diet and exercise plan they have given me doesn't seem to be sorting our my blood sugar levels. I've got a doctors appointment this week and am hoping to get things figured out. All in all, it has made cooking and eating (two of my favourite passtimes), very stress-ridden and frustrating. But of course I am very grateful for the little ones, and willing to do whatever it takes to sort things out for them.
So 2013?
My big aim is to survive and keep bar low. Not exactly an inspirational NY reso is it? But everything anyone tells me about multiples is that life at the start is hard. And my tendency is to promise too much. So, for the last months and the first year, I'm not promising anyone anything, except that I will look after the babies and Tim. If I'm up to more, great! If I can't do more, then that's not surprising.
But I also want to enjoy this. I am so grateful every day for these little treasures. I won't to enjoy them, enjoy the pregnancy (as much as I can, I hear the last 10 weeks with two is pretty awful), and enjoy them when they arrive. It will be tiring and overwhelming, but I want to enjoy it as much as possible.
So, 2013? Bring it on :)
Love BG
2012 has been a massive year. Tim and I got together for a coffee and a year's "debrief" yesterday and were laughing at just how big it's been. Changing cities, moving house, starting a new church, me starting a new job. It has been massive. It's hard to sum up the year, it has had many very tough moments. But we ended up declaring it "the year of answered prayer". The church, despite a very slow start, is going really well, and we have been astonded by the many answered prayers about church that we have had in the last term of the year.
And probably the biggest answered prayer is that we are pregnant. With Twins.
It was so overwhelming how we found out. We had a very early scan because of our history at 6 weeks. There is it, on the screen, a very obvious baby and a very clear heart beat. Tim and I couldn't stop grinning at each other...until the doctor said "That's unusual?"
"What!" we both cried in a panic at his thoughtless comment. He apologised saying "Sorry, not bad, just surprising. There is something else there". And then he moved the wand and there was another, tiny, tiny sack with a shape in it. I knew, from my obsessive googling, that it was the shape of a 5 week old baby. There was no heart beat. Our doctor said the most likely situation was that our second baby had died and that was why it was so small. But he also said there was a very slight chance that we had two babies and one was just a week behind and would catch up.
And two weeks later, when we again sat in that same room, there they both were, but this time there were two heart-beats. We were so very happy and grateful.
I am currently 16 and a half weeks pregnant. Our 12 week scan was fantastic, with both babies looking well. I'm definately feeling what I assume is movement, though its not yet reached a stage of proper kicks. Our families are over the top excited, as are many of our friends. We are so very thrilled, though still getting our heads around our family expanding so rapidly.
I have been well, though I have Gestational Diabetes. It's actually been incredible stressful, particularly as the diet and exercise plan they have given me doesn't seem to be sorting our my blood sugar levels. I've got a doctors appointment this week and am hoping to get things figured out. All in all, it has made cooking and eating (two of my favourite passtimes), very stress-ridden and frustrating. But of course I am very grateful for the little ones, and willing to do whatever it takes to sort things out for them.
So 2013?
My big aim is to survive and keep bar low. Not exactly an inspirational NY reso is it? But everything anyone tells me about multiples is that life at the start is hard. And my tendency is to promise too much. So, for the last months and the first year, I'm not promising anyone anything, except that I will look after the babies and Tim. If I'm up to more, great! If I can't do more, then that's not surprising.
But I also want to enjoy this. I am so grateful every day for these little treasures. I won't to enjoy them, enjoy the pregnancy (as much as I can, I hear the last 10 weeks with two is pretty awful), and enjoy them when they arrive. It will be tiring and overwhelming, but I want to enjoy it as much as possible.
So, 2013? Bring it on :)
Love BG
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The benefits of a four monthly catch up
Last Saturday, I went out to dinner with my sister Sandy and our second cousin Anna. We did this for the first time in June, and we had such a lovely time that we decided to do it again.
This post is not about food, but I can't talk about Sandy and Anna without telling you about my new favourite restaurant. Mamasita's in Colin's St Melbourne is just the most amazing place. I am a Mexican lover from way back, a somewhat frustrated Mexican lover as my beloved is not that much of a fan, and is even less of a fan now than when I married him because I used to subject him to at least one Mexican dish per week, until caving under protests. Mamasita's is a Tapasish place, and it highlights the very best of Mexican, not the processed Old Elpaso stuff (which I don't mind anyway), but the fresh lime and coriander and corn, the slow cooked meat, the lovely spices that aren't too overwhelming. I went there first with Sandy and Anna. It is usually packed out, we arrived at 5:30, and were told to come back in a hour. It is expensive- it's the kind of place I'll go for my birthday or a special occasion. But I love, love, love it! I'm getting hungry and excited just thinking about it.
Anyway, end of rant.
Sandy and Anna and I grew up together. Along with several other couples and their kids, we used to go away and spend Easter together at my Grandparents farm. We all got on well, but despite many years of little contact, Anna is the one that we are the closest too. Our Dad's were great buddies growing up, and if something had happened to my parents, it would have been Anna's parents who would have been our guardians. I often wonder if the reason we enjoy each other company is because our parents are so similar.
Anyway, on Saturday we went to another great restaurant Mamak's (a Malaysian restaurant that is famous in Sydney and has just made its way onto Lonsdale st). It was lovely to catch up and see what we had all been up to. But I realised what a help it can be to have a 4 month catch up. It reminds you of what you were thinking and planning and dreaming 4 months ago, and how life has ended up.
Anna asked how my book was going.
Oh dear...
Of course, in June, it was all about my novel, as I desperately tried to get it finished before starting work.
But the last four months...
Well, the biggest problem was what happened several weeks after our last catch up.
I lots my notebook.
I don't know if other people who aren't writers quite understand how heart-breaking this is (though I guess Anna and Sandy were pretty horrified). But for me, it was one of the most debilitating, horrible moments of the novel writing process.
The not so frantic search "It must be somewhere". The somewhat more urgent "I need to find it, where could it be". Retracing my steps. Searching under the car seat. Madly cleaning the house. Looking in places I know it can't be but wanting to find it so bad that I look there anyway.
Horrible.
And I can't find it. I suspect, maybe next year I will find it. But by then, it will be too late.
And what was in my notebook that was so important? In the late days of June I sat down and read through my entire novel, and wrote down in my novel exactly what I needed to do to get it up to scratch. It was not a fun process but it was necessary and satisfying to get it done.
And now, all that work is lost. I could be thankful there was little original words in my notebook lost. But even so...
It took about a month before I would even look at my novel, I was so distraught. Eventually I started writing a little bit, but I was busy and discouraged and it didn't happen very often. And finally, about 1.5 months ago, I printed out my novel and started again. Painstakingly writing down what needed to change. I was no where near as through as I could have been, I just don't have the heart for it.
Anyway, back to dinner. So I began to talk to Anna and Sandy about my book. And they were great. Because they still remembered the enthusiastic Belinda who felt so close to finishing. They were still keen to read it, they still believed in it. And slowly, as they talked about, so did I.
As I looked through it after the discussion, I didn't feel like it was very good. But that's not the point. I don't have the perspective to know if its good or bad, and I often end up changing my mind as I read. But it needs to be finished.
And I'm going to do it. Sans notebook.
BG
This post is not about food, but I can't talk about Sandy and Anna without telling you about my new favourite restaurant. Mamasita's in Colin's St Melbourne is just the most amazing place. I am a Mexican lover from way back, a somewhat frustrated Mexican lover as my beloved is not that much of a fan, and is even less of a fan now than when I married him because I used to subject him to at least one Mexican dish per week, until caving under protests. Mamasita's is a Tapasish place, and it highlights the very best of Mexican, not the processed Old Elpaso stuff (which I don't mind anyway), but the fresh lime and coriander and corn, the slow cooked meat, the lovely spices that aren't too overwhelming. I went there first with Sandy and Anna. It is usually packed out, we arrived at 5:30, and were told to come back in a hour. It is expensive- it's the kind of place I'll go for my birthday or a special occasion. But I love, love, love it! I'm getting hungry and excited just thinking about it.
Anyway, end of rant.
Sandy and Anna and I grew up together. Along with several other couples and their kids, we used to go away and spend Easter together at my Grandparents farm. We all got on well, but despite many years of little contact, Anna is the one that we are the closest too. Our Dad's were great buddies growing up, and if something had happened to my parents, it would have been Anna's parents who would have been our guardians. I often wonder if the reason we enjoy each other company is because our parents are so similar.
Anyway, on Saturday we went to another great restaurant Mamak's (a Malaysian restaurant that is famous in Sydney and has just made its way onto Lonsdale st). It was lovely to catch up and see what we had all been up to. But I realised what a help it can be to have a 4 month catch up. It reminds you of what you were thinking and planning and dreaming 4 months ago, and how life has ended up.
Anna asked how my book was going.
Oh dear...
Of course, in June, it was all about my novel, as I desperately tried to get it finished before starting work.
But the last four months...
Well, the biggest problem was what happened several weeks after our last catch up.
I lots my notebook.
I don't know if other people who aren't writers quite understand how heart-breaking this is (though I guess Anna and Sandy were pretty horrified). But for me, it was one of the most debilitating, horrible moments of the novel writing process.
The not so frantic search "It must be somewhere". The somewhat more urgent "I need to find it, where could it be". Retracing my steps. Searching under the car seat. Madly cleaning the house. Looking in places I know it can't be but wanting to find it so bad that I look there anyway.
Horrible.
And I can't find it. I suspect, maybe next year I will find it. But by then, it will be too late.
And what was in my notebook that was so important? In the late days of June I sat down and read through my entire novel, and wrote down in my novel exactly what I needed to do to get it up to scratch. It was not a fun process but it was necessary and satisfying to get it done.
And now, all that work is lost. I could be thankful there was little original words in my notebook lost. But even so...
It took about a month before I would even look at my novel, I was so distraught. Eventually I started writing a little bit, but I was busy and discouraged and it didn't happen very often. And finally, about 1.5 months ago, I printed out my novel and started again. Painstakingly writing down what needed to change. I was no where near as through as I could have been, I just don't have the heart for it.
Anyway, back to dinner. So I began to talk to Anna and Sandy about my book. And they were great. Because they still remembered the enthusiastic Belinda who felt so close to finishing. They were still keen to read it, they still believed in it. And slowly, as they talked about, so did I.
As I looked through it after the discussion, I didn't feel like it was very good. But that's not the point. I don't have the perspective to know if its good or bad, and I often end up changing my mind as I read. But it needs to be finished.
And I'm going to do it. Sans notebook.
BG
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Spring! A Seasonal update
Once again time has flown with very little obvious changes on this blog. I always have high hopes for blogging and they never end in anything. Oh well, it's time for my regular 3 monthly update.
I love spring. I'll say it again. I love Spring. I know for many (Hubby included) Spring is an evil time of allergies, but for those of us unaffected by pollen, it is the most beautiful season. I love Spring particularly in this house. I have a theory that the most beautiful rosebush in the world just happens to live outside our front window. I don't have any proof of it yet (having not quite managed to see all the rose bushes in all the world), but out of all the ones I've seen, ours is the best. It is a deep red rose, full, with the most intoxicating blossom. It's just started to go crazy, and I love bringing roses to friends. It makes me smile every time I go past it. This picture below is from another rose bush, not quite as beautiful as ours. Just imagine a richer fuller bud, and a smell that is not too sweet and yet somehow still intoxicatingly strong.
And while Spring hasn't quite got to the steady, lovely temperatures I'm used to in Sydney, Melbourne's Spring is definitely moving from one warm day a week to a few more.
Life has been busy. Ministry (both Church and Uni) has been a joy. It was funny, I was at a wedding and catching up with an old friend. This old friend is a psychologist, and we were discussing life and how often at our age and older- people start to be really dissatisfied with life. They had all these dreams, these goals about life, and even when they achieve them, life never seems and glamorous and meaningful as they expected. And this often leads to real disappointment with life.
In discussing this, I was thinking about my life. I don't think my life is easy, and definitely this year, with church planting and moving and death of loved ones and the like, it has not been easy. Often my life is difficult. But it is not empty or meaningless. My life is rich and full of purpose. And this is something I have been trying to appreciate more and more, realising this is a gift that not everyone shares. It's not that every ones life doesn't have purpose, I believe under God we all do. And its not that people who don't do ministry don't have meaningful jobs and lives- they definitely do!!! But I get to see my life impacting others. I get to see the Gospel go out. My life's meaning is in my face. And that is a gift.
Two weeks ago, my beloved Pa died. It's a strange time. Happy that he is with Jesus. Sad that he is not with us and Nan. Remembering and appreciating him. Sad that what has happened to Tim (loosing all his Grandparents) will happen to me, and this is the start. Thankful for Heaven.
So, I guess that is a brief update on my life. I am hoping to blog more, and I have a plan! The Geneva Push, a church planting network of which Tim and I are apart, are signing me on as a regular blogger. The idea is that I will blog from the point of view of a church planters wife. I'm really excited about this and hope it will be an encouragement to others who are either in my situation or planning to be. It also might help me to blog more regularly. For the purposes of that, I will be starting a new blog (I'll link it to here eventually), and my plan is to also post those posts on both our church website and on threeworlds. That way I can still use this site for personal/silly/writing/non church planting related posts, but will also include a bit of church planting in the mix.
So, theoretically, you should be hearing more of me in the next few months :)
But I have said that before!
love B
I love spring. I'll say it again. I love Spring. I know for many (Hubby included) Spring is an evil time of allergies, but for those of us unaffected by pollen, it is the most beautiful season. I love Spring particularly in this house. I have a theory that the most beautiful rosebush in the world just happens to live outside our front window. I don't have any proof of it yet (having not quite managed to see all the rose bushes in all the world), but out of all the ones I've seen, ours is the best. It is a deep red rose, full, with the most intoxicating blossom. It's just started to go crazy, and I love bringing roses to friends. It makes me smile every time I go past it. This picture below is from another rose bush, not quite as beautiful as ours. Just imagine a richer fuller bud, and a smell that is not too sweet and yet somehow still intoxicatingly strong.
http://www.mzephotos.com/gallery/roses/red-rose.html ]">© MzePhotos.com, Some Rights Reserved
And while Spring hasn't quite got to the steady, lovely temperatures I'm used to in Sydney, Melbourne's Spring is definitely moving from one warm day a week to a few more.
In discussing this, I was thinking about my life. I don't think my life is easy, and definitely this year, with church planting and moving and death of loved ones and the like, it has not been easy. Often my life is difficult. But it is not empty or meaningless. My life is rich and full of purpose. And this is something I have been trying to appreciate more and more, realising this is a gift that not everyone shares. It's not that every ones life doesn't have purpose, I believe under God we all do. And its not that people who don't do ministry don't have meaningful jobs and lives- they definitely do!!! But I get to see my life impacting others. I get to see the Gospel go out. My life's meaning is in my face. And that is a gift.
Two weeks ago, my beloved Pa died. It's a strange time. Happy that he is with Jesus. Sad that he is not with us and Nan. Remembering and appreciating him. Sad that what has happened to Tim (loosing all his Grandparents) will happen to me, and this is the start. Thankful for Heaven.
So, I guess that is a brief update on my life. I am hoping to blog more, and I have a plan! The Geneva Push, a church planting network of which Tim and I are apart, are signing me on as a regular blogger. The idea is that I will blog from the point of view of a church planters wife. I'm really excited about this and hope it will be an encouragement to others who are either in my situation or planning to be. It also might help me to blog more regularly. For the purposes of that, I will be starting a new blog (I'll link it to here eventually), and my plan is to also post those posts on both our church website and on threeworlds. That way I can still use this site for personal/silly/writing/non church planting related posts, but will also include a bit of church planting in the mix.
So, theoretically, you should be hearing more of me in the next few months :)
But I have said that before!
love B
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Once upon a time and the real world
I am totally loving the television show "Once upon a time".
I can't really think of a more "Belinda" like premise. I love fairy tales, I love stories, I love writing, I love TV. And this idea, of fairy-tale characters trapped in our real world with no "happily ever after" is pretty cool.
And they are doing it well. When I saw the show trailer I knew I could love it. But there is nothing worse than hearing the premise for a show, getting all excited, only to find out that it is less than I originally dreamed it to be. But so far I am really happy about it. I look forward to every episode and after each episode ends I think "I can't believe I have to wait a whole week for the next one!" Not since the first two seasons of "Hero's" have I felt like that.
But as much as I am enjoying it, there are a whole lot of things that I feel very uncomfortable about.
For those who haven't seen it, the main story sit around three characters: Regina the major of the town (who was the wicked queen from Snow White), her adopted son Henry, and Emma, who is Henry's biological mother. Emma put Henry up for closed adoption when he was born. Emma is also Snow White and Prince Charmings daughter, although she doesn't know it.
Every character has their fairy-tale backstory, and their real-life reality. But the problem is, these two realities often clash, and we end up with these strangely morally abigious actions from the "good" characters that are justified by their past.
For example, Henry is constantly disobeying his mother, running away, and spending time with his biological mother. This is somewhat justified, because he knows (though no one believes him) that Regina is actually an evil queen. But Emma, who does not know this, lets him do it.
If I adopted a child, did my best to bring them up, and then their biological mother came along and helped them lie to me and disobey me, I would be rightfully angry. If I was a biological mother who met up with my child and believed my child was being mistreated, I would go through proper court processes to make sure my child was safe and well. It would do no good for me or the child if I was deceptive.
Of course, for the sake of the story, this can't happen. And WE know that the Regina is evil, and that it is good for Emma to help Henry stay away from her. But Emma doesn't know that, and so I think she is actually a less apealing character because of her inappropriate "parenting".
And Henry's therapist, who keeps encouraging Henry in his beliefs, also seems a little bit strange. Of course, Henry's theories are true. But again, the therapist doesn't know this and so should be doing his best to showly pull apart Henry's fantasy, in a gentle and loving way.
But the killer one at the moment is "Snow white" and "Prince charming".
SPOILER ALERT IF YOU DIDN"T WATCH LAST NIGHTS EPISODE
In the Fairy tale world, Snow white and Prince charming are Happily married
In the real world, Snow white/Mary Margaret is single, and Prince-charming/David is a coma patient, who has woken up to find himself married to a different women "Katherine"- though he has great feelings towards Mary Margaret that he doesn't understand.
And as watchers who know that Mary Marget is David's true love, we are manupulated into hoping that David will leave his wife to be with his true love.
But how terrible is that! While we might know the backstory, that character's do not. So again, we have the "good" characters acting in ways that are totally inappriopriate, given their understand of the world.
In the end, David made the call to stick with his wife and to try to make their marriage work. And I was torn, both happy that he was behaving well, but also sad that he was kept from his true love.
COMPLICATED :)
As a writer there are all kinds of things that I write that I realise later are inconsistant with the rest of the story, and the premise of my world. I am constantly making changes to the story to make it consistant, and I know a perfectly consistant story is the impossible dream (afterall, if CS Lewis, JRR Tolkin, and JK Rowlings haven't always be consistant all the time- what hope do I have).
And I realise there are a certain level of dramatic licence that writers have in order to keep the story going and interesting that can sometimes mean that "happy ever afters" don't last very long. And none of my characters always act rightly all the time, in fact, the concept of no one being morally perfect is a key idea in my novel.
But writers and TV produces have a way of messing with our minds. Of making us want things to happen because they will make a character happy, not because they are the right thing to do.
And so as much as I love Once Upon a Time it makes me skwerm. Because the king of that show, the greatest good, the overaching priority of every character is "Happily Ever After". Not "Doing what is right and loving".
And in the real, real, world? My world? God's World? That is called Sin.
BG
I can't really think of a more "Belinda" like premise. I love fairy tales, I love stories, I love writing, I love TV. And this idea, of fairy-tale characters trapped in our real world with no "happily ever after" is pretty cool.
And they are doing it well. When I saw the show trailer I knew I could love it. But there is nothing worse than hearing the premise for a show, getting all excited, only to find out that it is less than I originally dreamed it to be. But so far I am really happy about it. I look forward to every episode and after each episode ends I think "I can't believe I have to wait a whole week for the next one!" Not since the first two seasons of "Hero's" have I felt like that.
But as much as I am enjoying it, there are a whole lot of things that I feel very uncomfortable about.
For those who haven't seen it, the main story sit around three characters: Regina the major of the town (who was the wicked queen from Snow White), her adopted son Henry, and Emma, who is Henry's biological mother. Emma put Henry up for closed adoption when he was born. Emma is also Snow White and Prince Charmings daughter, although she doesn't know it.
Every character has their fairy-tale backstory, and their real-life reality. But the problem is, these two realities often clash, and we end up with these strangely morally abigious actions from the "good" characters that are justified by their past.
For example, Henry is constantly disobeying his mother, running away, and spending time with his biological mother. This is somewhat justified, because he knows (though no one believes him) that Regina is actually an evil queen. But Emma, who does not know this, lets him do it.
If I adopted a child, did my best to bring them up, and then their biological mother came along and helped them lie to me and disobey me, I would be rightfully angry. If I was a biological mother who met up with my child and believed my child was being mistreated, I would go through proper court processes to make sure my child was safe and well. It would do no good for me or the child if I was deceptive.
Of course, for the sake of the story, this can't happen. And WE know that the Regina is evil, and that it is good for Emma to help Henry stay away from her. But Emma doesn't know that, and so I think she is actually a less apealing character because of her inappropriate "parenting".
And Henry's therapist, who keeps encouraging Henry in his beliefs, also seems a little bit strange. Of course, Henry's theories are true. But again, the therapist doesn't know this and so should be doing his best to showly pull apart Henry's fantasy, in a gentle and loving way.
But the killer one at the moment is "Snow white" and "Prince charming".
SPOILER ALERT IF YOU DIDN"T WATCH LAST NIGHTS EPISODE
In the Fairy tale world, Snow white and Prince charming are Happily married
In the real world, Snow white/Mary Margaret is single, and Prince-charming/David is a coma patient, who has woken up to find himself married to a different women "Katherine"- though he has great feelings towards Mary Margaret that he doesn't understand.
And as watchers who know that Mary Marget is David's true love, we are manupulated into hoping that David will leave his wife to be with his true love.
But how terrible is that! While we might know the backstory, that character's do not. So again, we have the "good" characters acting in ways that are totally inappriopriate, given their understand of the world.
In the end, David made the call to stick with his wife and to try to make their marriage work. And I was torn, both happy that he was behaving well, but also sad that he was kept from his true love.
COMPLICATED :)
As a writer there are all kinds of things that I write that I realise later are inconsistant with the rest of the story, and the premise of my world. I am constantly making changes to the story to make it consistant, and I know a perfectly consistant story is the impossible dream (afterall, if CS Lewis, JRR Tolkin, and JK Rowlings haven't always be consistant all the time- what hope do I have).
And I realise there are a certain level of dramatic licence that writers have in order to keep the story going and interesting that can sometimes mean that "happy ever afters" don't last very long. And none of my characters always act rightly all the time, in fact, the concept of no one being morally perfect is a key idea in my novel.
But writers and TV produces have a way of messing with our minds. Of making us want things to happen because they will make a character happy, not because they are the right thing to do.
And so as much as I love Once Upon a Time it makes me skwerm. Because the king of that show, the greatest good, the overaching priority of every character is "Happily Ever After". Not "Doing what is right and loving".
And in the real, real, world? My world? God's World? That is called Sin.
BG
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Update on life
I know.
You don't need to tell me.
I'm a shocker!
It's been over a month since I've blogged, in fact it is growing closer to two months. But to be fair, part of the issue is that I have been blogging more on our Church Planting Blog which means that the Christian Ministry/Church planting posts have gone to a different home. You can check them out at: http://gracechristiancommunity.org.au/boxhill/blog/
In fact, the only reason you are getting a post today, is because I was reading up on old posts (I'm doing a little talk about my ministry experiences at my parents/sisters church and was looking for material) and given that blogger was open and ready I though- I better do something :)
Did you know in three weeks I will be starting my new job?
It has snuck up rather scarily. I am pretty excited though. I'm loving the idea of rocking up at Uni and meeting with lots of girls to read the Bible. I have great memories of my time of Uni Ministry, and I am just so excited to see what God will do. There is nothing quite like one to one discipleship in the way it can change people's hearts and make a huge impact for the Kingdom.
The scary thing is time. How I will fit church, Uni work, life, housework, and most particularly writing into my life.
My aim was to get my first draft of my novel done before my start date of June 25.
And while I am very proud of what I have achieved so far this year, a first draft of a novel is not one of those things. I printed it out about 4 weeks ago and sat down to read carefully and make notes of what things needed to be still written/changed. And I suspect I have a list of about 50 things. Some are as simple as "Add more description". Some are as massive as "write the scene". So in three weeks I don't think all of that is going to happen!
So, as excited as I am about RMIT, I am still a little sad to go back from a "part-time" writer to a hobby writer.
BTW, if you are interested in supporting my ministry financially (I need to raise money to work at RMIT) you can support me at This site
And....because he's too cute not to get a mention:
Here is my beautiful Nephew Oliver. He is wearing a suit that I bought him about an hour after he was born :) He is smiley and energetic and adorable. Elise and I both think he said "Belinda" the other day. Of course, it sounded more like Owoooahh, but we knew what he meant.
:)
Love BG
You don't need to tell me.
I'm a shocker!
It's been over a month since I've blogged, in fact it is growing closer to two months. But to be fair, part of the issue is that I have been blogging more on our Church Planting Blog which means that the Christian Ministry/Church planting posts have gone to a different home. You can check them out at: http://gracechristiancommunity.org.au/boxhill/blog/
In fact, the only reason you are getting a post today, is because I was reading up on old posts (I'm doing a little talk about my ministry experiences at my parents/sisters church and was looking for material) and given that blogger was open and ready I though- I better do something :)
Did you know in three weeks I will be starting my new job?
It has snuck up rather scarily. I am pretty excited though. I'm loving the idea of rocking up at Uni and meeting with lots of girls to read the Bible. I have great memories of my time of Uni Ministry, and I am just so excited to see what God will do. There is nothing quite like one to one discipleship in the way it can change people's hearts and make a huge impact for the Kingdom.
The scary thing is time. How I will fit church, Uni work, life, housework, and most particularly writing into my life.
My aim was to get my first draft of my novel done before my start date of June 25.
And while I am very proud of what I have achieved so far this year, a first draft of a novel is not one of those things. I printed it out about 4 weeks ago and sat down to read carefully and make notes of what things needed to be still written/changed. And I suspect I have a list of about 50 things. Some are as simple as "Add more description". Some are as massive as "write the scene". So in three weeks I don't think all of that is going to happen!
So, as excited as I am about RMIT, I am still a little sad to go back from a "part-time" writer to a hobby writer.
BTW, if you are interested in supporting my ministry financially (I need to raise money to work at RMIT) you can support me at This site
And....because he's too cute not to get a mention:
:)
Love BG
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