The perfect ministry couple, from Anne of Green Gables

At the moment, I pretty much read a fiction book every day.  Even if it's only a couple of pages, I just find that this is the pattern I use to go to bed.  But I also read at other times too.  Often my fiction books will overlap with my non-fiction, usually Christian or writing books, so sometimes I'm thinking of one as I read the other.

Me and a few friend have been reading a book called "More than a Pastor's Wife".  It's all about being a pastor's wife, the expectations people sometimes hold of them, and the helpful things you can be doing to serve God in this very unusual role.  I was reading it on Friday

I am also reading Anne of Green Gables.  Which I have read many times before.  But I think, given our plans for next year, and the other book I was reading concurrently- I noticed this line for the first time.

"Mrs Lynde says that sound doctrine in the man and good housekeeping in the women make an ideal combination for a minister's family"

Oh dear!  It's alright on Tim's side but...
:)
love B

Interesting Sell

Was talking to someone who trying to convince a friend to come to church.  One of her selling points: We sing Karaoke!  I was a bit confused, but she went on to say.  Everyone sings, and instead of Kylie Minogue Love songs we sing love songs about God.

Interesting selling point.  But should we include a bouncy ball scrolling over the words on the powerpoint to increase the appeal?
 :)
B

2012 and beyond

When I first started this blog- I had very recently moved to the city of Sydney.  The whole idea of the blog was to keep friends updated on my life in the new city, and because I was studying, it was an opportunity to reflect on what I was learning.

Three years on, things are very different.  I am no longer studying, but working in a job that is hard work but a blessing.  And while this blog is still primarily about informing friends, it is also just a way of me processing the things that happen in my life and hopefully encouraging people along the way.

But the big news is that at the end of this year, Tim will have finished his Bible College studies and we will be moving back to Melbourne.

This means alot of changes, such as minor ones like coming up with a new blog name ;)

But one of the biggest things changes is that Tim and I will be embarking on a new ministry adventure.

God-willing- next year Tim and I will be planting a church in Melbourne, in the Suburb of Box Hill.

Even writing the words I suddenly get filled with all kinds of different emotions: the two biggest being excitement and fear!  And I think excitement and fear will be two emotions I will get rather used to as this year continues :)

I know that church planting will not be an easy venture.  But I love Jesus, and I love sharing him with those who are yet to know him, and even with the challenges, I look forward to the opportunities for evangelism that Church planting will create.

Tim and I (well, really it was me, I'm the blogger in the family) have started a new blog about the church plant.  I'd love you to check it out, and start praying for us :)

http://www.gracechristiancommunity.blogspot.com/

It is hard to believe that it has been three years since I started this blog!  I'm really thankful to God for those of you who read it, and particularly those who have continued to love and care for us even when we have been far away.

And I am thankful to God for the last three years.  They haven't been easy, but they have been important and filled with much joy and blessing.
Love B

Those days

Today was one of those days.

No, I don't mean those days.  Today was one of those rare, amazing, I love my job days.

It wasn't that anything different happened than on any other day, or particularly any other Thursday.  It was just that it was a day when I was reminded just how special my "ordinary" days are.  How priveledged I am to do what I do.

In Bible study we looked at the women who poured perfume on Jesus.  We talked about how special Jesus was.  We looked at the Lord Supper and realised why Jesus was so special.  And then we prayed for each other other and talked and laughed and ate.  'This is so important' said one lady, patting her hand on her Bible, 'I learn so much more when I learn with other people'.

I caught up with my friend who is so interested in learning about Jesus.  We sat in a cafe, in plain sight of the world, with the Bible open, talking about the world and Jesus, and how special forgiveness is.  We read about how no matter your background, gender, or social standing, if you trust in Jesus, you are equal and part of God's family.

I've just confirmed that I am running an event for women at church, to training them in talking about Jesus with friends.  I was just going to do it with my young women's Bible study, but they insisted we make it wider because "Everyone needs to learn this".

And now I am getting ready for another Sunday of teaching.

I love those days.
B

Reflections from Kids Club Day 2

Today was Kids Club, day 2.

It's been going really well.

Everything has been so well done, and the children seem to be having an awesome time. They really seem to be getting into the story, and really understanding what we are trying to teach them. My hunch is its going to be the best Kids club I've ever been involved in- and I've been involved in at least 15 in my life!

So much of the time in ministry you feel like you are pushing, pushing, pushing people to be enthusiastic about ministry.

Sometimes you tear your hair out about people not doing their share of the work.

Sometimes in ministry you spend weeks and months leading up to an event like kids club, doing the admin that you hate and thinking- this is so hard!

And then sometimes- you sit back and watch incredibly gifted, godly people, who work their butts of to serve Jesus and the precious children he loves so much. And you see God doing amazing things in the lives and kids.

And you think to yourself. Oh right. That's why I do this job again.
love B

30 years worth of thankyous!

On Kyck we were challenged to not be people who were focused on gaining things that don't last (money, fame, things etc), but to be people who thanked God for the good gifts he gives us.

So, to celebrate my birthday- I thought I would thank God for things that he has given me over the years of my life.

Year 0-Thanks God for giving me life!
Year 1- Thanks God for giving me awesome parents who told me of you and loved me so kindly and wisely
Year 2- Thanks for my sister!
Year 3-Thanks for the Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins who bring such joy
Year 4- Thanks for the house I grew up in, particularly the huge backyard where I could run around, dream, make up stories, and talk to you
Year 5- Thanks for primary school- for the things you taught me and the lessons I learnt about life and the world you created
Year 6- Thanks for my Grandparents farm- a place where I experienced so much joy.
Year 7- Thanks for St Mary's and St Paul's where I had such fun at church and where I learnt so many amazing things about you and your son.
Year 8-Thanks for the imagination that you gave me, and the many fun years (still continuing) of making up stories
Year 9-Thanks for friends you gave me
Year 10-Thanks for the time you gave me in the states- the beautiful world of Madison that you decided in your Divine plan to share with me
Year 11-Thanks for the experience of living in another country- and the love you gave me starting then for people who are from countries other than Australia
Year 12- Thanks for the church I went to in America- particularly my Sunday School teacher Laura who helped me understand what it means that we are all sinners
Year 13- Thanks for High school. Even though it was a hard 6 years, I learnt so much and I grew so much and I am thankful for how you used it to shape me into the person that I am.
Year 14- Thanks for Youth Group- for the leaders, for the opportunities for ministry, for all the fun times, and for the friends.
Year 15- Thanks for Jesus! (That is relevant for every year- but I might as well stick it here, and 15 was a hard year and knowing that Jesus died for me was something that helped get me through it)
Year 16-Thanks for letting me go overseas to Europe. You have blessed me with so many special experiences and I am grateful.
Year 17- Thanks for Beach Mission! It was such a key time in my walk with you, the friends I made are so precious, and it was there that I realised I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling people about Jesus. What a blessing!
Year 18-Thanks for giving me a love of learning.
Year 19-Thanks for Uni. Thanks for that fun crazy time. Thanks particularly for the Christian Union I was apart of- for the fun, the friendships, and the Bible teaching and training which has made such a difference to my Christian life and service.
Year 20-Thanks for my friend Fi- thanks for the way you have used her over the years to be such a source of encouragement and fun!
Year 21-Thanks for teaching me that I should find my self-worth in you and not in other people (still learning that one- but 21 was a key year)
Year 22-Thanks for giving me jobs- allowing me to earn money. Thanks for the growing up that took place and the lessons I learnt.
Year 23-Thanks for introducing me to the most amazing man in the world. Thanks that (after a while!) he decided to ask me out. Thanks that despite my worries over the previous 22 years that you had it all figured out!
Year 24-Thanks for my marriage to Tim. Thanks that despite the fact that we are both sinners, that you have used us to grow each other. Thanks for all those amazing fun times.
Year 25-Thanks for the chance to do an apprenticeship at RMIT. It was just amazing to have people donate money so that I could spend my time reading the Bible with Uni-students and encouraging them in their faith. Thanks for the blessing of being trained by the gifted and godly Steve and Heather. I grew so much.
Year 26- Thanks for Scots Church- for all the things we learnt and the dear friends we made. It is such a blessing even now when we are far away that we have such caring lovely "couple friends" who welcome us back as if we never left.
Year 27-Thanks for Bible College. I still can't believe I got that one precious year of studying your word. Thanks for that unexpected Gift.
Year 28-Thanks for Chatswood Baptist and particularly the chance of getting to work there. Only you could work things out so well! Thanks for Children's ministry and making it fun as well as challenging
Year 29-Thanks for the way that despite hard things and trials and time away from family, that you have held me tight to you, and grown me in my faith.

Year 30
Plenty of things I could say- but as it's only been 11 and half hours (or less than an hour depending if you are going via the actual time of birth), I won't dwell on them ;)
But even though I don't know what this year holds- I know that it is in the hands of a creator who loves me.
Thanks God for being in control of my life.
I love you.
Amen
B

Random Observations of this week

This week I did a kids talk for Easter, and as part of it we had a Humpty Dumpty Egg "Fall" off a wall and smash on the ground. One of the toddlers burst into tears. We couldn't work out if he was sad because Humpty "died", if he was just in shock, or if he was upset because he wasn't allowed to eat it!

I've been really admiring the various families around me at church and the hard work they put into teaching their kids about Jesus. Easter really makes it hit home- as parents think of creative ways of helping the kids understand the story. And our Sunday School teachers are also doing a fabulous job. I'm so impressed by how well even the little kids are doing at remembers that Easter is about Jesus and not chocolate! One of the kids was showing me the "resurrection" eggs they had used in the 3-5 yo class.
I pointed to the picture of the tomb.
"What's that".
"That's where they put Jesus"
"Then what happened"
"He came back to life on the three day!"

Today I went to a funeral of a man from church. The talk was based around the verse in Psalm 90 "Teach us to number our days aright, so we might grow in wisdom". For the first time in my life- I felt that death was not that far away. Even if I live another 50 odd years- that is nothing in terms of eternity. Time is short. I really want to make it count.

One of the women I spoke to at the funeral said to me afterwards "When I was a little girl, I was so scared of death. Now I see it as not a bad thing at all. I'm not afraid. I have hope."

I've never seen such a stoic, content widow at a funeral before. And not because he wasn't dear to her, and not because she wouldn't miss him. She was just so happy that he was out of pain and with Jesus.

Death was on my mind alot this week. But so was the Resurrection. And hope.
love B

'Fraidie-Cat

Most of the time, when people talk to me about money, about how we survive- I give a glib answer about how it's not so bad, and how God has provided.

But I think I give an impression that I am someone who is incredibly trustful of God to provide for me everything I need.

That's not true. I'm a stressor, and I am a particular stressor about money. It is true that God has provided, he has done amazing, amazing things to look after us, such as finding us great places to live, providing generous supporters at various times in our ministry training, and he unexpectedly handed me my job when I was least expecting it.

But there are times when I just don't trust him at all.

One of those times was Saturday night.

That day, when Tim was away at a men's convention, I had opened up our latest credit card bill. I don't know why it didn't hit me then, maybe because it was a beautiful day and I was happy and content, and not overtired and grumpy and stressed about the ministry day ahead.

But that night- the flood gates opened.

You see the credit card bill was (almost) exactly equal to the amount in our savings account. As I told Tim about the amount- I began to cry.

I began to cry because for the first time since we'd gotten married- we weren't going to have any savings. Savings for me were such a safety net. Oh well, I would say, even if x or y happens, at least we have savings.

Tim and I talked and talked and talked about it. He tried to comfort me, he tried to remind me of God's goodness to us. He tried to talk about how it would all be okay, that God would provide as he always did. He said, as he always says, that if I can't handle it we don't have to do this- he can go back to town-planning for a few years, or even forever.

And through out our conversation I kept interrupting him to yell at God, to say, I just can't take it anymore Father, why does everything have to be so hard!

The next day Tim was unexpectedly given his check for his student minister position at church. It will clear before the credit card bill comes out- meaning that my fear of having no savings will not eventuate- we will have more savings at the end of next week than we did at the start of this week.

I think sometimes when you are a women preparing to be a ministry wife- people look up to you and go "Wow, I could never do that". They think of the things that I am giving up- perhaps owning a big house, or even ever owning a house, the financial security, knowing where we will be living and having a choice in the matter. They think I must be really brave and really strong in my faith.

I'm not brave, I'm one of the biggest fraidie-cats I know. And there are times when my faith is as small as a mustard seed.

But I have a great God who somehow in his grace and goodness- provides for me anyway.
love B

The Power of the Word

This week has been a wonderful ministry week- even if its been not so good on the home-front (I've had a poor sick vomiting Tim on my hands).

After 6 months of trying I've got to meet up to read the Bible with two Mum's who became Christians in the last 12-18 months. One of the surprises I had was how hard it is to pin a Mum down for coffee and Bible study- even when their child is in Day-care or being minded by someone else. Mum's are so busy even when the kids aren't there, it can be hard in their minds to justify the "luxury" of sitting down with someone to read the Bible.

But I wanted to share one story in relation to one of the Mums.

She became a Christian through someone else- about 4 weeks after I met her and she started coming to church. It was really exciting. And then her 1 year old daughter, who had been living with her mum, came to live with her.

Life became (quite understandably) crazy, as she got re-used to being a full-time Mum, and a functional single one at that (her husband works in another country and only can visit once in a while).

I really wanted to encourage her in her faith but she didn't feel up to coming to church or Bible study or Bible reading or anything.

I was despairing a bit- how could i help her in this difficult stage, and convince her that it was important?

I was trying to work out how best to encourage her one day when myself, her and her daughter went out for lunch. She was really stressed and so I pulled out the Bible and read the bit in Philippians about not being anxious and praying and I explained how this helped me when I was stressed to remember that the best thing to do when you are stressed is to pray and hand it to God. She liked it so much that I copied it out on a piece of paper with a nice picture for her to stick up on her wall.

And as the months progressed she kept talking about how much it helped her, when she was stressed she would look at the verse and remember to pray, and remember God was working in her. She used it so much she learnt it by heart and every week or so she would have different things she had learnt from it that she wanted to tell me.

It was excited to see even a few verses of the Bible changing someone life.

Now we are actually reading the Bible together once a fortnight. It's so exciting seeing how hungry she is to read the Bible and to have God change her to be more like Jesus.
Yay! Praise God for great ministry weeks.
love B

Work, weddings, and 5 years

This week, as well as being a hard week, has been a very exciting week!

It was a hard week because I started work, and though sometimes I love my work, I DO NOT like the first few weeks of the year. I'm partially writing this so that next year I will remember and be prepared.

Do you want to know a secret? The first 2 weeks of doing my job I was actually really depressed because I kept thinking "I can't believe I've signed up for a job that I find so hard. How am I going to survive this year?"

But then I got to the 3rd week, and it all started to come together.

The truth is that I am not a desk job/organising the masses kind of person- but that is one aspect of my job. And I can bear it when I also get to spend times with Women and Kids and teach the Bible. But on the weeks when all I do is sit at a computer trying to organise materials and teams of people I get very depressed and very stressed. So while I feel overwhelmed that this time next week everything will be up and running- I am also relieved at the thought.

It was an exciting week because of weddings!

As previously started, my friend Fi is getting married. It's been fun chatting about it, fun thinking about it. I get to be a bridesmaid which I am very excited about (and honoured). I have friends who have been bridesmaids a few times and so things like dress shopping and hens night and hairstyles are just things that don't excite them. But having only been a bridesmaid once when I was in year 8 (for my Auntie Clare)- this stuff is very, very exciting for me. And even more, it will be so precious to get to be so involved in such a special day- and to assist her and encourage her as she prepares for this new stage of life as a wife. Dresses and flowers are all very well, but to be able to pray with her on the morning of her wedding is I suspect going to be the most special thing.

And- it was an exciting week because yesterday Tim and I were married 5 years. I am very thankful to God for the way he has sustained us through this time (not to mention for all the fun we have had along the way:) ). One thing we did yesterday was go through all the ways that we thought each other had grown in the years of marriage. It was encouraging to know that in Tim's eyes I was a better wife now than when we married and vise-versea!

Anyway, that's my week (trying to think up a more exciting end to this post but can't be bothered!)
love B

Back to work stress

Today is my first in the office day of the year.

And yes, I do realise it's Australia Day.

My first 7 days of work were non-office days, two Sundays and one wonderful week helping out on a Youth and Children's leader's training camp.

But now the rubber hits the road:

-Sunday School

-Creche Rosters

-Tuesday Playgroup

-Wednesday Playgroup? (Not technically my responsibility but I don't think it is anyone else's yet either so have to make sure that someone is sorting things out)

-Koorong shop

-Craft Supplies

-Toy cleaning (Tomorrow is the day where we get all the playgroup toys out and sanitise them for another year of fun in the mouths of local children)

-Schedual and planning for Tim and my Junior Youth Biblestudy/group

-Praying for my sanity and that God in his mercy will use this crazy, disorganised servant to bless the children and women of my church.

And that is why I am working on Australia day.

love B
PS (photos of new house and NZ coming up when we actually have internet at home)

I'm back

I'm back.

Back in the country

Back in Sydney.

Back at church.

But I am not back in Stanmore. Because as of Friday Tim and I moved into our new house! I actually really like it. I'm not sure if that's because its so new that it's like we are living in a hotel (only a hotel filled with boxes), but I suspect it's just because it's such a cool little place. There is still lots of fun to be had- we don't have any hot water because Tim didn't realise it was gas and so didn't organise for gas to come in, and there are an awful lot of boxes (some full some empty) cuttering the pathways between everything but it's got our stuff in it and our pictures and it feels like home. The home feeling was heavily emphasised also by the three couples who provided lunch, dinner, and cookies/tea for us (and these are two couples we know vaguely and one I had never met!) The benefits of living in a Bible College community house.

New Zealand and Melbourne were both amazingly wonderful. I don't really have time to go into detail but as this is the one time I get internet access before Tim and I head off to a camp I thought I should at least let you know that much.

Feeling overwhelmed with the prospect of the year ahead, but so much more calm after today- just seeing the people i serve and going "Oh that's right, I love these people" makes the work ahead seem more achievable.

love B

New Every Morning

This week is, and is going to be a hard week.

In a week like this, I find myself asking the question- what does scripture have to say to me in life's difficult times? What can I turn to for comfort? Or often it's not that articulate and thought out- I just pick up my Bible and cry out "Help".

And as often happens, the verse that as a church we are memorising this month, the very verse that Tim and I did a kids talk on this last weekend, was the one i needed to hear. The verse we had was Lamentations 3:22-23- but I'll give you the context. May it comfort you in whatever situation God has placed you in.
Love B

19I remember my affliction and my wandering,

the bitterness and the gall.
20I well remember them,

and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke

while he is young.
28 Let him sit alone in silence,

for the LORD has laid it on him.
29 Let him bury his face in the dust—

there may yet be hope.
30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,

and let him be filled with disgrace.
31 For men are not cast off

by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,

so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction

or grief to the children of men.

Photos of my life Part 1

Well, one of the things that Tim and I bought with our airport voucher was a camera.
We are very excited about, and some of my excitement I have to say is that I can finally have photos on my blog. Not that I'm going to have many I'm sure- I'm just not a super photo person, but I am excited that at least you can see some pictorial evidence of my life.
I wanted to do a day in the life of Belinda, but of course I forgot to take photos for much of it- so here's just a taste!:

My train trip across the habour bridge. It isn't a particularly good photo but you get the ide

I don't know if you can tell- but the scary looking man at Luna Park Sydney is raising awareness of Men's Health this Movember :)
After Mainly Music on Wednesday myself and some of the church Mums who attend/help went out for Japanese. This is four year old Samuel trying to avoid getting his photo taken. Samuel is my good buddy- he's a shy little boy but he loves "Tim and Alinda". His Mum Nicole started coming to Mainly Music last year, and eventually became a Christian. She is getting Baptised this Sunday- which we are all very excited about!

This is where I spend most of the day- Chatswood Baptist Church. It's a wonderful place, and particularly a wonderful place to do kids ministry as it is something that the whole church cares about and is behind. This particularly day was spent on Mainly Music, Talking Nicole through what would be happening with her Baptism, emailing people about their involvement in ministry next year, and preparing for my last scripture lesson of the year.

The beautiful roses in the Memorial garden near the station- with a train behind. I'm just heading home after a very tiring day. Self Portrait on the train!

Oh, and on an unrelated note- here's a picture of my spunky husband taken by someone who actually is a photo person!

Love B

When all the cows are sleeping...

I sometimes think about Uni ministry verses what I'm doing now:

There are lots of serious pros and cons to both.

But really- when it all comes down to it- the Big question that seems to dominate my thinking on this issue is:

What Kind of Dancing do I like more?

21st/Wedding/Party dancing along to the latest hits/old dance classics.

OR

Dancing to songs that involve lots of clapping, nodding, stamping, rolling out of beds, ducks going quack, and pointing to different parts of the body.

I think- at least on the dancing front- Uni Ministry wins. But on the weeks where I get to do Dingle Dangle Scarecrow...it gets a bit closer.
love B

Memorising Scripture

When I first started my job one of the first thing that was talked about was memorising Scripture.

My boss (who in the tradition of "The Castle" is an idea's man) was really keen that as a church family we all get into the habit of learning Memory verses, and that we be really deliberate in the choices that we make- so that these verses will be helpful throughout the whole lives of those who learn them. And he suggested that this might be a task that I could undertake.

We set the starting date for just after the school holidays (one of the many reasons why my last school holidays wasn't really a holiday!) I had to think about memorising scripture, why it was important, to work out how to sell it to the church, pick the verses and particularly the categories we might use in choosing what kinds of verses to have, and work out how we would teach and encourage people to prioritise learning.

It was a pretty mammoth task- but it has been one of the most rewarding things I've done so far. There are two reasons for this.

The first is the personal impact. The task of going to the Bible to pick memory verses is just amazing. You are constantly poring over the Bible and looking over verses that inspire you, challenge you and point you to the cross and the great God who made it happen. I remember one afternoon just reading through the "Fighter Verses" that Bethlehem Baptist (John Pipers church) use and just being so spurred on and encouraged. It made me realise how much more effort I should put into memorising scripture. How many instances I could think of where having certain verses would have been just a blessing in the fight against sin and discouragement- if only I had known them off by heart!

The second is seeing it actually happen in the congregation. The end of the first month I was a little bit nervous that hardly anyone would have learnt it. It had been plugged every week. Where relevant it had been mentioned in sermons. It had been taught in Sunday School. But would anyone know it?

The verse was Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us".

I asked everyone to say it together (without the words displayed) on the last Sunday of the month. The church resounded with an enthusiastic rendition; over-powered somewhat by a young grade three girl who screamed it at the top of her lungs ;)

But the big test was TNT.

TNT is the junior youth Bible study that Tim and I lead. They had seemed at first a bit non committal about learning it; there was a real "can't be bothered" vibe in the air when we talked about it. And yet, on that last day- most of them knew it and were excited about knowing it.

And they understood it. During the study Tim asked them: "How do we know that God loves us?" Someone answered: "Because Jesus died for us when we were sinners". GOLD!

This Sunday I had the pleasure of teaching actions to the whole church- and seeing everyone jumping enthusiastically into the air as they cried out "ABOUNDING in love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6).

Have I mentioned lately that I love my job?
love B

Why I love my Bible study!

Today is one of those days where I can think about a million things I want to blog about. "One of those days" doesn't happen very often- so I've actually written down a list that I will plow through over time.

I will give you a "what's been happening update" after this weekend- because that (hopefully!) is when the craziness stops a bit. Plus I am blessed to be having a weekend away with my Mum and Sister in the blue mountains- so I can let you know about that too!

But now- why I love my Bible study.

I was excited about joining a Bible study this year. Last year I really felt the loss of a regular chance with friends to catch up and learn together. I realised the error of my ways half way through the year and tried to join one of the groups for College wives. Unfortunately at that stage they were all bursting at the brim and too full, so it was with great excitement that I approached my second chance at the start of this year.

Now for those of you who don't know me well enough to know my faults- I am an academic snob. I am very Bible literate, and greatly struggle with pride associated with this. With this pride comes also a tendency to be lazy in Bible study, and not push myself to be challenged (because I've often thought about or read before what I am being taught). It also leads me to want to answer every question in Bible study to "show off" I self-diagnosed this sin when I was 19 years old through my memorable and wonderful first year at Christian Union student group at Monash Uni. But despite my self-diagnosis, it has been a constant struggle and I suspect will remain so.

The idea of being in a Bible study run by "College Lecturer's wives" and other "College wives's" appealed because I assumed the studies would be high brow and academic.

But this is what I found.

The studies so far have been on James and the topic of "the church"- two things that I am very familiar with. The things that we discuss, the answers that we come to, are most of the time ones that I already knew or things I already thought.

And yet, it's been wonderful!

Because often the conclusions are conclusions I've known, but never lived out. For example, in our first study on church we came to the conclusion- based on many passages but particularly Romans 12:1 that we needed to live our whole lives as "worship" to God. This was something I knew. But as the study ended I realised how little I lived it out! I don't wake up in the morning thinking about all the different ways I will be worshiping God that day. I don't do the dishes, write my novel or ride the train in a way that acknowledges the one I'm serving. I do think of ministry and church as my worship time and not the rest. What a challenge!

And not only that- I am in a group of very different women. We have a Grandma, a Mother of young adults, and a Mother of young kids. We have a lawyer, a nurse and a PA. We have people studying, teaching and ministering the gospel. All different. All sharing their lives, their wisdom, their struggles, their joys and their prayer points each week.

I am so thankful to God for my Bible study. Once again, my good God has not given me what I expected or what I asked for, but just what I needed. He is like that!
love B
PS For those of you who also struggle with being Bible snobs- two things I have found helpful in a Bible study context. The first is thinking before I answer a question- am I just answering this to show off? The second is even if I'm not, I only ever answer half the questions I want to, to keep myself from dominating. Still not perfect, but I've found it a great help!

Still a Kid on the inside

Sometimes I struggle with real self-doubt when it comes to my job.

• I have never studied any form of childhood education (although I do have an unusually high understanding of early numeracy thanks to my parents line of work!)
• I've never had any formal training in children's ministry
• I supervise people who have taught more Sunday School than I have!
• I don't have children of my own, so I don't have that natural know how that a mother gets just from having to work out how to bring up a children from scratch

And yet, as I look back over this previous term, even though there are so many things that I could have done better- I can see that God in his wisdom and grace has guided me through it and used me.

I don't know everything there is to know about kids, but I think one of the secrets I have is that I am still a kid inside. I can play with kids, and I'm only just realising now that this isn't something that comes naturally to everyone. I can relate to kids, I can teach them. I love working with them. And when parents see this, they warm to me and open up to me more than I could have possibly imagined.

The reality of my "inner child" came back to me as I had this particular song stuck in my head for the last month:

The Easter Bunny came hopping along

Swinging his basket and singing a song

He delivered two eggs to the green front door

And he hopped a bit further and delivered some more

Now, having a song stuck in your head is not usually your fault. But I have to take some responsibility for singing it to my husband while I hoped around the room like a rabbit.

My inner-child loves my job almost as much as I do!

love B

Do not worry

Hi Friends,
I've been thinking more and more lately about how thankful I am to my parents for the way they brought me up. I think this new found awareness relates to my job. As I think and pray about how best I can encourage the children in my church, I realise what a huge role parents have in this process, and particularly remember and appreciate things Mum and Dad did. The songs we used to sing, the little Bible studies we used to do, the prayers before bed every night. These are things that were just there for me and Sandy but now I think- praise God! How much easier is it for me to read my Bible every day when the habbit was impressed upon me before the age of ten!

This week has been a week of worries. Now that term has ended, I've found myself realing under the things I intended to get done "Once the term was over". And there are all these things that are happening this term. Good things, like coordinating a church wide effort to memorise verses of the Bible, and running a pre-evangelistic event to encourage Mum's to read with their kids. Not to mention starting up the Women's ministry side of my job! I feel tired just thinking about it. And that's on top of a whole lot of life stuff that's coming up that I have to process.

And over and over again I hear the Jenny Flack song "Do not worry" that my Mum used to sing to me when ever I got worried. At the time (and I've told Mum this) I used to get a little annoyed, feeling like "I want to worry, and singing a song isn't going to stop it anyway"! But I know that it did help, and now? Now it runs into my head and reminds me of a greater perspective.

I won't give you the whole song (though I know it word perfect :) but here is the start:

Do not worry over any old thing
The birds don't worry and hear how they sing
Leave all your worries to the King of Kings
and do your best and leave the rest to the Lord

I would appreciate your prayers this week. Just pray that I get done what needs to be done and that I trust God with tomorrow.
love B

The Bitter-sweetness of Melbourne visits

Tim and I had a wonderful time in Melbourne.

Bec and Brads wedding was loads of fun, and it was so nice getting to hang out with many members of my dear in-law family.

But Melbourne visits are bitter sweet.

The more fun I have, the more sad it feels to go back to Sydney and to think through the many more months before we go back for good. It's not that I don't love Sydney. I do! But family is so precious and it is strange to be away from them for so long.

So, in honour of my discontentment- here are five things that I love about Sydney to help me to be thankful for what I do have:

-I love the train-trip home from my job. The beautiful Green hills of the North Shore. The glimpse I get of little harbours until...wait, there it is! The Sydney harbour in all its spender as I train my way over the bridge. Not to mention train seats that can face backwards or forwards by the pull of a handle. I don't normally change it but I appreciate that I can.
-I love my new Bible study. It's only been two weeks, but so far my study with other 2nd year working wives has been really enjoyable. We are study James and I've been so convicted so far. Gotta love being convicted by the word!
-I love my work and linked to that my church. It has been really great doing kids ministry, and I have particularly been enjoying seeing the inner workings of a local church. And I love the number of people I get to see every day who don't know God but are interested in getting to know him.
-I love where I live. I love the urban-dump to gentrified-hub that is the suburb of Stanmore. I love the cheap restaurants and great coffee-shops just up the road. I love that I have friends in my building and girly-chats whenever I need them
-I love the friends I've made here. God has blessed me so richly with some super-supportive people.

Thanks God for great times in Melbourne AND Sydney. Amen
love B