Not in Vain

An update on my Mark memorising- not going so well!  It seems that despite my initial enthusiasm, memorising a verse a day is beyond me.  I'm changing my strategy, and am going to attempt to set aside an hour in one day of the week to work on it.  I'm half way through chapter 1, and am amazed how much I learn by just reading and reciting these familiar words over and over.

This weekend I went to a conference on preaching.  The speaker at the seminar I attended was Peter Adam, former Principal of Ridley.  He is one of my favourite preachers, when I hear him.  But often when I haven't heard him for a while, his whimsical style and thoughtful godliness leaves my mind, and I forget to list him when thinking of who are the great preachers.  One point I found really fascinating was when he commented that great preaching doesn't have to be memorable to be effective.  He could remember several wonderful sermons he had heard through his life, but that didn't mean that the others he heard hadn't been used by God.  The aim of teaching is to change people to be more like Jesus, and that is much more important than being remembered.

But both together can still be nice.

At this conference a very familiar face came up to me.  Even his name, bouncing off his lanyard, seemed to ring some subtle bell in my mind.  He smiled at me, and said "I don't know if you remember me, but you were my Kids Club and Youth Group leader".  The name and face and context came together and I remembered.  A kid who went with his family to a church with no other kids, a very enthusiastic Kids Club kid who ended up in Youth Group.  A kid who had stopped coming and I always wondered about.  A kid I hadn't seen in probably 10 to 12 years.

He told me of the church plant he had joined.  He spoke of Kids club and of Bible Studies at my house.  I was only just an adult when I lead those studies, and often look back and wonder what they were like, since I have no memory, other than that they happened and vague visual pictures of the Bible, bits of paper and my parent's lounge-room.

I stuttered a bit, and commented on how happy I was to see him at such a conference, to see how seriously he was taking God.   I told him, "I often look back at my Youth leading days, at all those who lost interest and fell away, and feel sad".

"Don't worry" the young man said, "It was worth it".

It always is.  Praise God!
BG

Things I'm loving right now

SPRING!
Spring is sprung the grass is ris, I wonder where the birdies is.
They say the bird is on the wing.
That's absurd, the wing is on the bird!

That is little saying my Dad has said for every Spring since I can remember.  It's a bit strange, but I keep up the tradition, though usually only in my head.

I love spring!  I love cherry blossoms and birds songs and early morning sunshine and weather in it's mid 20s and blue skies.  And linked in with spring.

MY SANDAL THONGS

These are the same shape if not the same pattern as mine (mine are even nicer).  I suspect it wasn't actually Gisele Bundchen who invented her range of sandal/thongs but whoever did, I want to make them a mango smoothie.  They are comfy enough to walk decent distances in, and they are casual but they look lovely.  And in the end of summer sales at Myer they cost only $20.  Loving having them on again.

KNITTING!
I am loving knitting so much.  Seriously, what a great way to somehow legitimise all the time I spend in front of the TV.  I have knitted before but struggled with how long it takes, but now I've worked out the secret to knitting fast.

Using really big needles.

I've just made a woolen shrug which I absolutely love although I did leave my run to late and haven't been about to wear it in this gorgeous weather.  I've also been knitting for a family member's baby and it turns out when the person you are knitting for is 10 times smaller than you, it takes a tenth of the time to make.  And it turns out alot cuter too!

PRAYING with Friends
I just joined my 2nd Prayer triplet yesterday.  They have different focuses and different people in them, and I love both of them.  So great to be able to pray with others, particularly as it's been something I've been struggling a bit with on my own.

MY TEENAGE BIBLE STUDY
On Sunday one of the teens pouted and said "Why do you leave us, just when we learnt to love you?" I always loved them, but I've been really appreciating them all, as they have been appreciating Tim and I, because I know we have only a term left together.  Some of the girls are getting Baptised in October, and I've been loving our weekly coffees/baptism classes :)  So great to see those little year seven's we started with beginning to take their faith really seriously.  So encouraging.  Not to mention they are tonnes of fun!

I don't write this post about things I love because I'm going wonderfully or because there are only good things going on.  That is not the case.  It's been a hard month, and hard year.

But there are things that bring me joy, and I want to dwell on and celebrate them.
God is giving me good things every day.
Love B

Who am I?

I've been going through a week of big questions about my life and the future and what I am doing.

Part of it was being on holidays and having time to think.  Part of it is still dealing with the pain of our loss.  Part of it is knowing that next year is going to be a time of huge changes, as I leave a job and a city and a life.  Part of it is being asked regularly (and not surprisingly) "What are you going to do next year?".  Most of the questioning has been serious and tough.  I feel like I don't know what my life is about and it's really hard to be in my thirties and still not be sure about what is the best thing to be doing with my time.  And I can't help thinking about how different next year could have been... :'(

But there has been a little silly part of me that has been doing some dreaming out of the box, and that has been the fun part of the uncertainty of next year.

Things I would love to do if I actually had the power to get any job I want:

-Author 
Of course I will be writing regardless.  But the dream is that someone will see my novel, realise it's potential, and give me lots of money to finish it.
-Playschool presenter!
It's been a dream of mine since I used to watch it, but after nearly three years of Playgroup running I genuinely think I would be really good.  I can't speak for other demographics, but I rock the under 5.  Now if we can only convince the ABC...
-Video game story-line writer
I really enjoy watching my husband play story based video games, which often have a sci-fi/Fantasy twist.  I would love to come up with concepts that can be turned into a video game.  They are like fatasy movies, although with different plots and posibilities depending on what the player does.  It's like choose your own adventure writing on steriods!
Governor General
I've seen the house.  It's got the best view in Sydney.  Of course we are moving back to Melbourne so it wouldn't really work...maybe a retirement options?
The next Oprah
Do i need an explanation?

The possibilities are endless...
Love B

When I survey

My parents are Christians, and did a very kind service to me of sharing Jesus with me from a very young age.  I don't remember a time when I didn't love God.

So it's always hard for me when it comes to "testimonies" to find a moment when I "became a Christian".  But that is something I treasure rather than worry about.  It's actually a special thing, to know Jesus as Lord and Savour and have no memories of him being anything but :)

My first memory of understanding Jesus death on the cross, relates to the song "When I survey".  It was my Dad's favourite hymn and he would often sing it to me as a lullaby. I have no idea of the age of this memory (it mustn't have been too big, if I was still being sung to sleep!) but I remember reflecting on one of the verses.

See from his head
His hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingle down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so richer crown

I remember listening and thinking that when Jesus died, he had a horrible painful crown of thorns.  But that crown was the most special crown in the world, because Jesus was dying for me.  Jesus died because he loved me.

And so, today, many, many years on, I cry when I sing that verse.

Good Friday indeed.
love Belinda

2012 and beyond

When I first started this blog- I had very recently moved to the city of Sydney.  The whole idea of the blog was to keep friends updated on my life in the new city, and because I was studying, it was an opportunity to reflect on what I was learning.

Three years on, things are very different.  I am no longer studying, but working in a job that is hard work but a blessing.  And while this blog is still primarily about informing friends, it is also just a way of me processing the things that happen in my life and hopefully encouraging people along the way.

But the big news is that at the end of this year, Tim will have finished his Bible College studies and we will be moving back to Melbourne.

This means alot of changes, such as minor ones like coming up with a new blog name ;)

But one of the biggest things changes is that Tim and I will be embarking on a new ministry adventure.

God-willing- next year Tim and I will be planting a church in Melbourne, in the Suburb of Box Hill.

Even writing the words I suddenly get filled with all kinds of different emotions: the two biggest being excitement and fear!  And I think excitement and fear will be two emotions I will get rather used to as this year continues :)

I know that church planting will not be an easy venture.  But I love Jesus, and I love sharing him with those who are yet to know him, and even with the challenges, I look forward to the opportunities for evangelism that Church planting will create.

Tim and I (well, really it was me, I'm the blogger in the family) have started a new blog about the church plant.  I'd love you to check it out, and start praying for us :)

http://www.gracechristiancommunity.blogspot.com/

It is hard to believe that it has been three years since I started this blog!  I'm really thankful to God for those of you who read it, and particularly those who have continued to love and care for us even when we have been far away.

And I am thankful to God for the last three years.  They haven't been easy, but they have been important and filled with much joy and blessing.
Love B

God's goodness when life is not good.

I've been reflecting on the concept of God's goodness.


I think when something horrible happens it's a natural progression of your mind, but it was sparked off particularly by a facebook comment. A million people (okay, slight exaggeration) have announced in the last month that they are having a baby, many of which are expecting in July when our little one would have been due. This is heart-breakingly hard for us. One of those people commented on facebook when discussing their pregnancy (which had taken a long time to happen) that "God is good".

I really struggled with that at first. The way I thought about it was that this person thought that the evidence of God's goodness was that they had been given a baby. But then the thing I struggled with was- what was the loss of our baby evidence of? Is God good to give one person a child, and not good to take one away from someone else.

One of my teens at church asked me once "Why is it that when something good happen we have to say thanks to God but when something bad happens it's not his fault?". Brilliant question!

Anyway, all these things had been floating around my head a few nights ago when I got to listen to a recording of a talk on Psalm 136- which was all about God's goodness, and how we can think about God's goodness in relation to the hard things in life. Talk about good timing! It really helped me to put together in my head what it means for God to be good, and how to understand hard things.

A few reflections:

-God is the king of all things good. Because he made this world good and every good and perfect gift comes from him- then it is right to respond to happy and good things by remembering- "oh that's right, God is good".

-The world is a mess because of sin. While God is not out-of-control of the bad things, he is not morally responsible for them. Therefore, the bad things that happen don't negate God's goodness.

-God's goodness is seen in what he has done. He has made this world good. He has looked after his people. And most importantly, he has sent his son to die for us. All these things are constant signs of his goodness that we need to hold onto when life is not good. We have powerful evidence of his goodness in the cross.

-God's love is steadfast (Psalm 136 repeats the refrain- his love endures forever). When I feel like God is not being loving or good at the moment it is helpful to hear that he doesn't change. The same love that he had for me when he sent his son to die for sin is the same loyal love he has for me right now in this pain.

The truth is, in my life (quite the opposite of what my teenage friend said), when good things happen I tend to not thank God, and when bad things happen I blame him. When in reality all good things in my life are a sign of his goodness, and the problems and hard things are as a result of human sin. And yet God in his amazing sovereign way is in control of it all and is able to take bad and use it for good.

So yes- when a friend who has been trying for a while gets pregnant- she is right to say "God is good".

When my husband very patiently loves me through this time of depression and doubt- that is God showing his love for me. That is God's goodness. When I have a particularly good ice-cream, or when Tim's brother has a lovely wedding, or when I survive a day that I didn't think I could. That is God showing his love for me. That is God's goodness.

And the fact that God can look at this rebellious child who is so mad at him and still love her and send his son to die for her?

That is God's goodness.

love B