An update on my Mark memorising- not going so well! It seems that despite my initial enthusiasm, memorising a verse a day is beyond me. I'm changing my strategy, and am going to attempt to set aside an hour in one day of the week to work on it. I'm half way through chapter 1, and am amazed how much I learn by just reading and reciting these familiar words over and over.
This weekend I went to a conference on preaching. The speaker at the seminar I attended was Peter Adam, former Principal of Ridley. He is one of my favourite preachers, when I hear him. But often when I haven't heard him for a while, his whimsical style and thoughtful godliness leaves my mind, and I forget to list him when thinking of who are the great preachers. One point I found really fascinating was when he commented that great preaching doesn't have to be memorable to be effective. He could remember several wonderful sermons he had heard through his life, but that didn't mean that the others he heard hadn't been used by God. The aim of teaching is to change people to be more like Jesus, and that is much more important than being remembered.
But both together can still be nice.
At this conference a very familiar face came up to me. Even his name, bouncing off his lanyard, seemed to ring some subtle bell in my mind. He smiled at me, and said "I don't know if you remember me, but you were my Kids Club and Youth Group leader". The name and face and context came together and I remembered. A kid who went with his family to a church with no other kids, a very enthusiastic Kids Club kid who ended up in Youth Group. A kid who had stopped coming and I always wondered about. A kid I hadn't seen in probably 10 to 12 years.
He told me of the church plant he had joined. He spoke of Kids club and of Bible Studies at my house. I was only just an adult when I lead those studies, and often look back and wonder what they were like, since I have no memory, other than that they happened and vague visual pictures of the Bible, bits of paper and my parent's lounge-room.
I stuttered a bit, and commented on how happy I was to see him at such a conference, to see how seriously he was taking God. I told him, "I often look back at my Youth leading days, at all those who lost interest and fell away, and feel sad".
"Don't worry" the young man said, "It was worth it".
It always is. Praise God!
BG
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
For Term 4
Why do I do ministry?
I do ministry for Term 4
Ministry can be really hard. It can be such a term 1. Lots of admin, lots of organisation, lots of asking people to do this or that and have them say no and thinking "For once I wish I could say no- but I can't because I'm paid to do this". New relationship where you can't tell if people are shy or if they actually don't want to talk to you! All that careful planning and you still find yourself saying "Why didn't I do this task before the madness of the year began!"
But I do ministry for Term 4
Ministry can be really crazy. It can be such a Term 2. Seeing an event you were going to run sneaking up on the calender, and having to decide that its just not going to happen. Exhaustion as everyone Else's long weekend is your busy time. A whirl wind of emotions, as one week you see Teenagers get so excited about God, and the next week someone suggests that there is something wrong with the way you are leading Bible study. And all the prep for a big ministry event- with the fruit still along way off.
But I do Ministry for Term 4
Ministry can be really exhausting. It can be such a Term 3. And amazing week of Kids Club- but with no time to recover before it's back to work again. All the events that all ended up in the same month, despite your supposed careful planning of the church calendar. All the people who suddenly want to meet, learn, grow, find out about Jesus, who you are so excited about- and yet how do you fit them in? All the personal drama's that always seems to come up right on the day of a talk your giving, a Bible study your leading, or a kids talk you are doing. And all you can do is dry your eyes, pray like crazy, and do your job.
But I do Ministry for Term 4
Term 4! The relationships that after a year are deep enough so that people actually come to you to talk about things of God. The kids who go from seeming to get nothing from your teaching- to all of a suddenly showing they were listening all along. Parents who start to think that maybe taking kids to church is a priority. Women who shyly tell you they have started meeting with someone to read the Bible and they'd like some advice. People who become Christians. People who get Baptised. People who grow. People who change. Term 4 is where the rubber hits the road, when you SEE and don't just know- that no work you do for the Lord is ever in vain.
I write this because ministry is hard. It is sometimes a Term 1, 2, and 3 and at those times I forget the big picture. But Term 4 doesn't happen without the hard slog through the others.
And I do ministry for Term 4
B
I do ministry for Term 4
Ministry can be really hard. It can be such a term 1. Lots of admin, lots of organisation, lots of asking people to do this or that and have them say no and thinking "For once I wish I could say no- but I can't because I'm paid to do this". New relationship where you can't tell if people are shy or if they actually don't want to talk to you! All that careful planning and you still find yourself saying "Why didn't I do this task before the madness of the year began!"
But I do ministry for Term 4
Ministry can be really crazy. It can be such a Term 2. Seeing an event you were going to run sneaking up on the calender, and having to decide that its just not going to happen. Exhaustion as everyone Else's long weekend is your busy time. A whirl wind of emotions, as one week you see Teenagers get so excited about God, and the next week someone suggests that there is something wrong with the way you are leading Bible study. And all the prep for a big ministry event- with the fruit still along way off.
But I do Ministry for Term 4
Ministry can be really exhausting. It can be such a Term 3. And amazing week of Kids Club- but with no time to recover before it's back to work again. All the events that all ended up in the same month, despite your supposed careful planning of the church calendar. All the people who suddenly want to meet, learn, grow, find out about Jesus, who you are so excited about- and yet how do you fit them in? All the personal drama's that always seems to come up right on the day of a talk your giving, a Bible study your leading, or a kids talk you are doing. And all you can do is dry your eyes, pray like crazy, and do your job.
But I do Ministry for Term 4
Term 4! The relationships that after a year are deep enough so that people actually come to you to talk about things of God. The kids who go from seeming to get nothing from your teaching- to all of a suddenly showing they were listening all along. Parents who start to think that maybe taking kids to church is a priority. Women who shyly tell you they have started meeting with someone to read the Bible and they'd like some advice. People who become Christians. People who get Baptised. People who grow. People who change. Term 4 is where the rubber hits the road, when you SEE and don't just know- that no work you do for the Lord is ever in vain.
I write this because ministry is hard. It is sometimes a Term 1, 2, and 3 and at those times I forget the big picture. But Term 4 doesn't happen without the hard slog through the others.
And I do ministry for Term 4
B
Friday, July 15, 2011
Two terms of Playtime to Go!
We've hit the "5 months to go" mark in the previous week.
Quite extrodinary. Really, moving to Melbourne seems to get closer and closer every day ;)
But of course there is a lot of sadness, particularly when I think of saying goodbye to the kids and families I've been working with over the last three years.
I was thinking of some of the most memorable Playgroup kid moments (warning- some of these are repeats from other posts):
-Little Lisa, such a gorgeous little treasure! If she sees me sitting down will come up behind me and pretend to "cut" my hair. "It's too longer, it's too longer" she says, as she pretends to cut it with some fake sissors from the playgroup doctors kit. "Stay still" she says, if I move my head to much, in a very hairdressery voice.
-Little Hayley, after struggling to say my name for nearly a year, finally calls me "Aunty Bananna"
-Ren, who insisted for a while on "Playing Belinda" before meals, which meant saying the following "Dear God, thank you for friends and food. If you haven't paid for this term, please see me afterwards. Amen"
-Little Max, with his gorgeous big blue eyes. On the week of his birthday (when we did a cake for him) he said "I love you Belinda, you are the best Belinda ever". Another time he said to me "I like you Belinda" before saying quietly to himself "Beautiful Belinda".
-Oli and Matty- who like to play "Aunty Bawinda" at home, which basically means getting out their teddie bears and ordering them to sing and dance.
-Shy little Harper, who will quite often announce (after she has warmed up a bit) "Look I can hop". And so she does and soon she has the 7 or 8 other kids hoping around in front of me. So gorgeous.
-Nathaniel- whose Mum will suggest he gives me a hug. He will walk towards me, and as I drop down and open my arms, he will bolt in the other direction- laughing hesterically at his own little joke.
-Little Hanna, who spends all week singing playgroup songs at home. When she is tired and struggling to get out of bed her Mum says "maybe you are too tired for playgroup". She shakes her head and says "No, we have to go. Belinda is WAITING for me".
-And little Xavier, who at 6 months old always gives me the biggest grins whenever I smile at him.
So special to be involved in these moments :)
Belinda
Quite extrodinary. Really, moving to Melbourne seems to get closer and closer every day ;)
But of course there is a lot of sadness, particularly when I think of saying goodbye to the kids and families I've been working with over the last three years.
I was thinking of some of the most memorable Playgroup kid moments (warning- some of these are repeats from other posts):
-Little Lisa, such a gorgeous little treasure! If she sees me sitting down will come up behind me and pretend to "cut" my hair. "It's too longer, it's too longer" she says, as she pretends to cut it with some fake sissors from the playgroup doctors kit. "Stay still" she says, if I move my head to much, in a very hairdressery voice.
-Little Hayley, after struggling to say my name for nearly a year, finally calls me "Aunty Bananna"
-Ren, who insisted for a while on "Playing Belinda" before meals, which meant saying the following "Dear God, thank you for friends and food. If you haven't paid for this term, please see me afterwards. Amen"
-Little Max, with his gorgeous big blue eyes. On the week of his birthday (when we did a cake for him) he said "I love you Belinda, you are the best Belinda ever". Another time he said to me "I like you Belinda" before saying quietly to himself "Beautiful Belinda".
-Oli and Matty- who like to play "Aunty Bawinda" at home, which basically means getting out their teddie bears and ordering them to sing and dance.
-Shy little Harper, who will quite often announce (after she has warmed up a bit) "Look I can hop". And so she does and soon she has the 7 or 8 other kids hoping around in front of me. So gorgeous.
-Nathaniel- whose Mum will suggest he gives me a hug. He will walk towards me, and as I drop down and open my arms, he will bolt in the other direction- laughing hesterically at his own little joke.
-Little Hanna, who spends all week singing playgroup songs at home. When she is tired and struggling to get out of bed her Mum says "maybe you are too tired for playgroup". She shakes her head and says "No, we have to go. Belinda is WAITING for me".
-And little Xavier, who at 6 months old always gives me the biggest grins whenever I smile at him.
So special to be involved in these moments :)
Belinda
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Being yourself in Ministry
Today I had a conversation with a lady who is investigating Jesus that started like this:
"Belinda, you are never envious or jealous. How can I be like you?"
Ouch
It would have been bad enough if it was just a regular week, but this comment came smack bang in the middle of a week where Jealousy, Envy, and Anger were probably my three strongest emotions.
And once again I am forced to take a look at the way I do ministry.
Am I being fake?
I'm not deliberately being fake. I do try to talk about my struggles and sin. But I think in my efforts to be a good example, and particularly in my efforts to teach godly living, I give the impression that I have it figured all out. And that, even accidentally, IS being fake. I need to be more real and honest.
It was a great conversation, because it ultimately came back to the gospel, that Christians are not perfect, we are just sinners who acknowledge how bad we are and get God to help us as we struggle to change. I said I could see myself growing, but that I often felt like the longer I lived, the more bad I find out I am. This was something my friend could identify with!
Interesting she also said "Your husband must be more perfect than you because he is going to be a Pastor". It makes me realise that this is going to be a problem that grows for both Tim and I, that because of our very roles people were going to assume the best of our character. And this is bad, both because it undermines the gospel (suggesting that being a Christian is about being good), and also because it means that people will see themselves on another level from us and therefore will be hesitant to either share struggles, or even follow our example (because they assume they will fail). Our challenge is to be real, to keep sharing the gospel, and to keep pushing people to persevere with godliness, even though it is a life long task.
I don't have any answers though. How do I be real about sin without revealing too-private struggles? What struggles should I publicise.
Tricky questions!
love B
"Belinda, you are never envious or jealous. How can I be like you?"
Ouch
It would have been bad enough if it was just a regular week, but this comment came smack bang in the middle of a week where Jealousy, Envy, and Anger were probably my three strongest emotions.
And once again I am forced to take a look at the way I do ministry.
Am I being fake?
I'm not deliberately being fake. I do try to talk about my struggles and sin. But I think in my efforts to be a good example, and particularly in my efforts to teach godly living, I give the impression that I have it figured all out. And that, even accidentally, IS being fake. I need to be more real and honest.
It was a great conversation, because it ultimately came back to the gospel, that Christians are not perfect, we are just sinners who acknowledge how bad we are and get God to help us as we struggle to change. I said I could see myself growing, but that I often felt like the longer I lived, the more bad I find out I am. This was something my friend could identify with!
Interesting she also said "Your husband must be more perfect than you because he is going to be a Pastor". It makes me realise that this is going to be a problem that grows for both Tim and I, that because of our very roles people were going to assume the best of our character. And this is bad, both because it undermines the gospel (suggesting that being a Christian is about being good), and also because it means that people will see themselves on another level from us and therefore will be hesitant to either share struggles, or even follow our example (because they assume they will fail). Our challenge is to be real, to keep sharing the gospel, and to keep pushing people to persevere with godliness, even though it is a life long task.
I don't have any answers though. How do I be real about sin without revealing too-private struggles? What struggles should I publicise.
Tricky questions!
love B
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Answered Prayers
Sometimes I forget that my God answers prayers.
Sometimes I'm so ready to explain to people that he "sometimes says no or not yet" that I forget to emphasis that he says yes too.
My Bible study has been a great reminder of God's ability to answer prayers.
Last year, we had a Mum in the group who wasn't a Christian. She was having real problems with her kids. We prayed about it and their behavior improved. Our Bible study actually has the kids in the same room as the adults and so often it's a little distracting. One week see said to me in exasperation: "There is no point in coming if the kids are ratty". I asked her to please keep coming and she said she would only come on mornings when the kids were well behaved. I said "Okay, I'll pray for them". This was in May last year, and she didn't miss a study for the rest of the year, because the kids behaved so well. And Praise God, she became a Christian at the end of the year.
This year we got a new Non-Christian Mum in the group. Her prayer point on the first day was for her son. He cried almost every day when she left him at Pre-school. She wanted us to pray that he would stop crying. When I saw her at Playgroup then next week she said he hadn't cry since we prayed but that "It wasn't God, it was a coincidence". Two and a half months in, he hasn't cried once. She said a few weeks ago "I thank God and I thank you for praying. I know that it's God who helped him not to cry".
They might seem like small things in this horrible time of earthquakes and impending Nuclear situations. But for these two Mums, it was serious struggles that God had helped them with.
And for me it was a reminder that God can and does answer prayers with yes. And I am reminded to keep praying.
love B
Sometimes I'm so ready to explain to people that he "sometimes says no or not yet" that I forget to emphasis that he says yes too.
My Bible study has been a great reminder of God's ability to answer prayers.
Last year, we had a Mum in the group who wasn't a Christian. She was having real problems with her kids. We prayed about it and their behavior improved. Our Bible study actually has the kids in the same room as the adults and so often it's a little distracting. One week see said to me in exasperation: "There is no point in coming if the kids are ratty". I asked her to please keep coming and she said she would only come on mornings when the kids were well behaved. I said "Okay, I'll pray for them". This was in May last year, and she didn't miss a study for the rest of the year, because the kids behaved so well. And Praise God, she became a Christian at the end of the year.
This year we got a new Non-Christian Mum in the group. Her prayer point on the first day was for her son. He cried almost every day when she left him at Pre-school. She wanted us to pray that he would stop crying. When I saw her at Playgroup then next week she said he hadn't cry since we prayed but that "It wasn't God, it was a coincidence". Two and a half months in, he hasn't cried once. She said a few weeks ago "I thank God and I thank you for praying. I know that it's God who helped him not to cry".
They might seem like small things in this horrible time of earthquakes and impending Nuclear situations. But for these two Mums, it was serious struggles that God had helped them with.
And for me it was a reminder that God can and does answer prayers with yes. And I am reminded to keep praying.
love B
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Updates
November isn't a good day for blogs.
I don't know if December is going to be any better.
Life is hectic but kinda exciting too!
Exciting number one
Tim has finished exams! He is now a big bad fourth year- and only 12 months off finishing for good. Doesn't seem possible that these last three years have gone so fast.
Exciting number two
Christmas ministry! What do I mean? I mean playgroup parties and Scripture Christmas parties, and our Carols Outreach service. I am also giving an evangelistic talk at an outreach event for our playgroup Mum's. Please pray for me.
Exciting number three
One of the playgroup Mum's in my Bible study has become a Christian! She and I sat down today to talk about it because she wants to be baptised. She brought along another friend who has been thinking through Christianity and in the course of the conversation she realised she wanted to be a follower of Jesus too! I feel overwhelmed by God's incredible mercy in these women's lives, and the opportunity I have to see God work in so many amazing ways.
Exciting number four
Tim and I got to be God-Parents for our friends beautiful little girl Maggie. We were greatly honoured.
Exciting number four
I just had a lightening visit down to Melbourne for my cousin Kate's 10Th birthday. And. We. Saw. Mary. Poppins.
SO GOOD!
Please pray. Lots of excitement, but lots to do as well.
love Belinda
I don't know if December is going to be any better.
Life is hectic but kinda exciting too!
Exciting number one
Tim has finished exams! He is now a big bad fourth year- and only 12 months off finishing for good. Doesn't seem possible that these last three years have gone so fast.
Exciting number two
Christmas ministry! What do I mean? I mean playgroup parties and Scripture Christmas parties, and our Carols Outreach service. I am also giving an evangelistic talk at an outreach event for our playgroup Mum's. Please pray for me.
Exciting number three
One of the playgroup Mum's in my Bible study has become a Christian! She and I sat down today to talk about it because she wants to be baptised. She brought along another friend who has been thinking through Christianity and in the course of the conversation she realised she wanted to be a follower of Jesus too! I feel overwhelmed by God's incredible mercy in these women's lives, and the opportunity I have to see God work in so many amazing ways.
Exciting number four
Tim and I got to be God-Parents for our friends beautiful little girl Maggie. We were greatly honoured.
Exciting number four
I just had a lightening visit down to Melbourne for my cousin Kate's 10Th birthday. And. We. Saw. Mary. Poppins.
SO GOOD!
Please pray. Lots of excitement, but lots to do as well.
love Belinda
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Long Service Leave
Tim has been causing a sensation.
In social situations he will announce to everyone "Belinda and I are going on holidays to Europe".
Everyone looks very shocked and surprised, no doubt wondering if being a four day a week children's/women's church worker and a Bible College student pays better than they had expected!
"When?" Is always the next question.
"In Twelve Years" is Tim's cheeky reply, "Long Service Leave".
Tim has wanted to go to Europe for as long as I've known him (don't get him started on the fact that his parents took his little brother without him!). And the wish has been growing more and more.
Lots of our friends have gone. In fact, along with buying a house, it seems to be "the thing" that every couple does. And for me it is just one more thing that we are missing out on doing together. And I don't like my attitude! As Tim keeps reminding me- I wouldn't trade a European holiday or a house for the awesome relationships and ministry that God has so graciously thrown my way!
But it is still so hard.
Hence the plan.
Tim will (God willing)- start working in 16 months. Starting in January we will put aside $100 each month into savings. That way, by the time we hit long service leave, we will have at least $12,000 saved up for our holiday.
And just having made that plan, we feel better. Yes, we have made sacrifices, and we would make them again.
But its so lovely to have a goal, something special and exciting to look forward to, to celebrate potentially ten years of ministry work. (James 4:13-15 of course in mind and acknowledged).
And strange though it seems, Tim and I are already excited thinking about it.
Of course there are other options. Tim's sister cheekily suggested we go to Europe this summer, go into debt- and spend the next twelve years paying off the debt rather than saving up for it. Or someone else suggested Tim could always become a multi-millionaire Televangelist and have his own private jet to go to Europe whenever he wants.
But I think we'll stick to the savings plan ;)
love B
PS To be fair, I have been to Europe before with my family. But I don't really care about going except that it would make Tim so happy. And I like a happy Tim!
In social situations he will announce to everyone "Belinda and I are going on holidays to Europe".
Everyone looks very shocked and surprised, no doubt wondering if being a four day a week children's/women's church worker and a Bible College student pays better than they had expected!
"When?" Is always the next question.
"In Twelve Years" is Tim's cheeky reply, "Long Service Leave".
Tim has wanted to go to Europe for as long as I've known him (don't get him started on the fact that his parents took his little brother without him!). And the wish has been growing more and more.
Lots of our friends have gone. In fact, along with buying a house, it seems to be "the thing" that every couple does. And for me it is just one more thing that we are missing out on doing together. And I don't like my attitude! As Tim keeps reminding me- I wouldn't trade a European holiday or a house for the awesome relationships and ministry that God has so graciously thrown my way!
But it is still so hard.
Hence the plan.
Tim will (God willing)- start working in 16 months. Starting in January we will put aside $100 each month into savings. That way, by the time we hit long service leave, we will have at least $12,000 saved up for our holiday.
And just having made that plan, we feel better. Yes, we have made sacrifices, and we would make them again.
But its so lovely to have a goal, something special and exciting to look forward to, to celebrate potentially ten years of ministry work. (James 4:13-15 of course in mind and acknowledged).
And strange though it seems, Tim and I are already excited thinking about it.
Of course there are other options. Tim's sister cheekily suggested we go to Europe this summer, go into debt- and spend the next twelve years paying off the debt rather than saving up for it. Or someone else suggested Tim could always become a multi-millionaire Televangelist and have his own private jet to go to Europe whenever he wants.
But I think we'll stick to the savings plan ;)
love B
PS To be fair, I have been to Europe before with my family. But I don't really care about going except that it would make Tim so happy. And I like a happy Tim!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
10 things that make me happy
My friend Jean tagged me for a meme. Ten things that make me happy.
1. Sunsets
2. Cherry Blossoms
3. Dates with Tim
4. Sharing Jesus with people who don't know him
5. The kids at church, and particularly being called "Aunty Belinda" (or Blinda, or Binda, or Bananna or whatever version they say!)
6. Praying and reading God's word and seeing it change people's lives :)
7. Nights of chatting with friends that slip into the early hours of the morning, because you are having so much fun.
8. Playing silly games with my Grant family
9. Telling old stories with my Clarke family
10. Walking on the beach
Tough stopping at ten. Praise God for so much joy potential in my life!
love B
1. Sunsets
2. Cherry Blossoms
3. Dates with Tim
4. Sharing Jesus with people who don't know him
5. The kids at church, and particularly being called "Aunty Belinda" (or Blinda, or Binda, or Bananna or whatever version they say!)
6. Praying and reading God's word and seeing it change people's lives :)
7. Nights of chatting with friends that slip into the early hours of the morning, because you are having so much fun.
8. Playing silly games with my Grant family
9. Telling old stories with my Clarke family
10. Walking on the beach
Tough stopping at ten. Praise God for so much joy potential in my life!
love B
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Bible study 5 months on
Today I was talking with my boss (Senior pastor boss I mean, not God!) and we were reflecting on my Mum's Bible study- and reflecting on the change since it started.
Five Months ago- there were weeks when nobody came.
This week there were seven Mum!
This isn't an exercise in numbers. But its just funny to think of the March Belinda- sitting in a room by herself trying not to cry thinking that it was because of her that nobody came.
It's Encouraging to see perseverence paying off.
And particularly encouraging to see Mum's excited to read God's word, even when with small kids, it can be a bit of a sacrifice.
love Belinda
Five Months ago- there were weeks when nobody came.
This week there were seven Mum!
This isn't an exercise in numbers. But its just funny to think of the March Belinda- sitting in a room by herself trying not to cry thinking that it was because of her that nobody came.
It's Encouraging to see perseverence paying off.
And particularly encouraging to see Mum's excited to read God's word, even when with small kids, it can be a bit of a sacrifice.
love Belinda
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Advice on things you've never experienced
One of the realities of having a role like I do in a church is I often have people discussing their problems with me and getting advice.
But sometimes those questions are things that I myself do not have any personal experience with.
The main one at the moment is parenting. Working with Mum's so much, I am asked often things like "How should I pray for my kids?", "How do I explain to my kids about other religions?", "How can I get my child to read their Bible", "What should I do if my teenager stops talking to me?", "How do I help my kid cope with bullying".
And now I find myself preparing a session on how to encourage your children's Christian faith for the Mum's Bible study I lead!
While much of this relates to my particular role, this is not a new experience for me. I discipled women who were dating when I had never had a boyfriend.
And sometimes I felt completely inadequate, and a little bit uncomfortable- longing to find someone else who could do the job for me who is more "experienced"!
But there is a few things I've realised.
Yes you can't help with everything.
Yes there are things that you can't understand until you've experienced them.
And yes, I do think about and research and ask questions to those who have been through these experiences and can share the knowledge they have gained.
But the biggest thing I've found when faced with questions about life situations that I've never experienced is that the Bible often has something to say about them.
I have never had to discipline a child
But I know something of what the Bible says about discipline. And so rather than being caught up with feelings of inadequacy, I turn to God's Word and together me and my friend work out what our good God has to say that might help guide them in that particular situation.
When I was 22 I had a women who was a great deal older than me ask me advice about a situation with her husband. I was completely shocked to be asked, surprised that she would think I had anything to say. For a moment I was speechless
But I did have something to say.
I just told her what the Bible said about that particular issue.
And she did it.
love B
But sometimes those questions are things that I myself do not have any personal experience with.
The main one at the moment is parenting. Working with Mum's so much, I am asked often things like "How should I pray for my kids?", "How do I explain to my kids about other religions?", "How can I get my child to read their Bible", "What should I do if my teenager stops talking to me?", "How do I help my kid cope with bullying".
And now I find myself preparing a session on how to encourage your children's Christian faith for the Mum's Bible study I lead!
While much of this relates to my particular role, this is not a new experience for me. I discipled women who were dating when I had never had a boyfriend.
And sometimes I felt completely inadequate, and a little bit uncomfortable- longing to find someone else who could do the job for me who is more "experienced"!
But there is a few things I've realised.
Yes you can't help with everything.
Yes there are things that you can't understand until you've experienced them.
And yes, I do think about and research and ask questions to those who have been through these experiences and can share the knowledge they have gained.
But the biggest thing I've found when faced with questions about life situations that I've never experienced is that the Bible often has something to say about them.
I have never had to discipline a child
But I know something of what the Bible says about discipline. And so rather than being caught up with feelings of inadequacy, I turn to God's Word and together me and my friend work out what our good God has to say that might help guide them in that particular situation.
When I was 22 I had a women who was a great deal older than me ask me advice about a situation with her husband. I was completely shocked to be asked, surprised that she would think I had anything to say. For a moment I was speechless
But I did have something to say.
I just told her what the Bible said about that particular issue.
And she did it.
love B
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The fog lifts
It started with the Roses. It always does.
I didn't realise it at the time. But as I walked towards the office I looked up and there they were. The Roses. Bobbing away in the breeze, under a sky which had been blue for days. They were always there. But on Wednesday, I saw them. I hadn't seen them for weeks.
It wasn't what I would call an easy morning. There was lots to do, and lots of conversations to be had. My throat was tired and after singing and story telling and entertaining I was ready for a nap, not for work. But I grabbed myself some lunch and sat down at my desk.
I sat at my computer for around 30 minutes. Not working. I can't do this. I just can't do this. I thought to myself. Not just that I can't do the work that I knew needed to get done. I meant I can't do this job. I'm no good at it. It's too hard. I can't do this and life and everything else. I can't do this.
Just one email. I told myself. Send one email and then you will feel better.
So I sent one. And then I sent another. And then I opened up a document and starting listening what we would do at the Kids Club training day.
That actually sounds pretty good I thought to myself.
I kept working. I thought about Kids Club and all the great things that would happen. I thought about Scripture and Bible study. It was good. It was work. But it was good. And I was too busy doing it to tell myself that I couldn't.
Even then I didn't know.
It was this morning. The roses aren't the only sign for me. As I went for my walk I started singing. Singing in my head. Lolling along Glebe Point Road singing a song in my head. I had sung, I had listened to songs, I had even had them stuck in my head. But not this "I'm happy so I will sing" that I found myself in for the first time in weeks.
That's when I realised.
The fog had lifted.
When your feeling depressed and you loose your confidence, you don't always know what's going on. You know that it's happening, but you don't see the way that it creeps into every aspect of your life and colours it grey.
But when the fog goes away, when God in his kindness and wisdom helps you think true helpful thoughts and not negative lies.
The sky clears.
And you see the roses.
love B
I didn't realise it at the time. But as I walked towards the office I looked up and there they were. The Roses. Bobbing away in the breeze, under a sky which had been blue for days. They were always there. But on Wednesday, I saw them. I hadn't seen them for weeks.
It wasn't what I would call an easy morning. There was lots to do, and lots of conversations to be had. My throat was tired and after singing and story telling and entertaining I was ready for a nap, not for work. But I grabbed myself some lunch and sat down at my desk.
I sat at my computer for around 30 minutes. Not working. I can't do this. I just can't do this. I thought to myself. Not just that I can't do the work that I knew needed to get done. I meant I can't do this job. I'm no good at it. It's too hard. I can't do this and life and everything else. I can't do this.
Just one email. I told myself. Send one email and then you will feel better.
So I sent one. And then I sent another. And then I opened up a document and starting listening what we would do at the Kids Club training day.
That actually sounds pretty good I thought to myself.
I kept working. I thought about Kids Club and all the great things that would happen. I thought about Scripture and Bible study. It was good. It was work. But it was good. And I was too busy doing it to tell myself that I couldn't.
Even then I didn't know.
It was this morning. The roses aren't the only sign for me. As I went for my walk I started singing. Singing in my head. Lolling along Glebe Point Road singing a song in my head. I had sung, I had listened to songs, I had even had them stuck in my head. But not this "I'm happy so I will sing" that I found myself in for the first time in weeks.
That's when I realised.
The fog had lifted.
When your feeling depressed and you loose your confidence, you don't always know what's going on. You know that it's happening, but you don't see the way that it creeps into every aspect of your life and colours it grey.
But when the fog goes away, when God in his kindness and wisdom helps you think true helpful thoughts and not negative lies.
The sky clears.
And you see the roses.
love B
Monday, June 7, 2010
Graciousness
Sometimes in Ministry you can't win!
You offend people when you ask them to help you with a ministry
You offend people when you don't ask them to help with a ministry
You offend people because they are convinced that you are offended by them- and they feel that you have no right to be offended by them, so they express to you how offended they are by the fact that you are offended by them when in fact you weren't offended in the first place.
But you are now!
And to be fair, sometimes I offend people because I don't put thought into how they are feeling and I am so busy and so self-absorbed that I don't treat them the way that I would like to be treated.
Ministry takes alot of grace.
God please help me to show grace to people the way you've shown grace to me!
Amen
love B
You offend people when you ask them to help you with a ministry
You offend people when you don't ask them to help with a ministry
You offend people because they are convinced that you are offended by them- and they feel that you have no right to be offended by them, so they express to you how offended they are by the fact that you are offended by them when in fact you weren't offended in the first place.
But you are now!
And to be fair, sometimes I offend people because I don't put thought into how they are feeling and I am so busy and so self-absorbed that I don't treat them the way that I would like to be treated.
Ministry takes alot of grace.
God please help me to show grace to people the way you've shown grace to me!
Amen
love B
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
30 years worth of thankyous!
On Kyck we were challenged to not be people who were focused on gaining things that don't last (money, fame, things etc), but to be people who thanked God for the good gifts he gives us.
So, to celebrate my birthday- I thought I would thank God for things that he has given me over the years of my life.
Year 0-Thanks God for giving me life!
Year 1- Thanks God for giving me awesome parents who told me of you and loved me so kindly and wisely
Year 2- Thanks for my sister!
Year 3-Thanks for the Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins who bring such joy
Year 4- Thanks for the house I grew up in, particularly the huge backyard where I could run around, dream, make up stories, and talk to you
Year 5- Thanks for primary school- for the things you taught me and the lessons I learnt about life and the world you created
Year 6- Thanks for my Grandparents farm- a place where I experienced so much joy.
Year 7- Thanks for St Mary's and St Paul's where I had such fun at church and where I learnt so many amazing things about you and your son.
Year 8-Thanks for the imagination that you gave me, and the many fun years (still continuing) of making up stories
Year 9-Thanks for friends you gave me
Year 10-Thanks for the time you gave me in the states- the beautiful world of Madison that you decided in your Divine plan to share with me
Year 11-Thanks for the experience of living in another country- and the love you gave me starting then for people who are from countries other than Australia
Year 12- Thanks for the church I went to in America- particularly my Sunday School teacher Laura who helped me understand what it means that we are all sinners
Year 13- Thanks for High school. Even though it was a hard 6 years, I learnt so much and I grew so much and I am thankful for how you used it to shape me into the person that I am.
Year 14- Thanks for Youth Group- for the leaders, for the opportunities for ministry, for all the fun times, and for the friends.
Year 15- Thanks for Jesus! (That is relevant for every year- but I might as well stick it here, and 15 was a hard year and knowing that Jesus died for me was something that helped get me through it)
Year 16-Thanks for letting me go overseas to Europe. You have blessed me with so many special experiences and I am grateful.
Year 17- Thanks for Beach Mission! It was such a key time in my walk with you, the friends I made are so precious, and it was there that I realised I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling people about Jesus. What a blessing!
Year 18-Thanks for giving me a love of learning.
Year 19-Thanks for Uni. Thanks for that fun crazy time. Thanks particularly for the Christian Union I was apart of- for the fun, the friendships, and the Bible teaching and training which has made such a difference to my Christian life and service.
Year 20-Thanks for my friend Fi- thanks for the way you have used her over the years to be such a source of encouragement and fun!
Year 21-Thanks for teaching me that I should find my self-worth in you and not in other people (still learning that one- but 21 was a key year)
Year 22-Thanks for giving me jobs- allowing me to earn money. Thanks for the growing up that took place and the lessons I learnt.
Year 23-Thanks for introducing me to the most amazing man in the world. Thanks that (after a while!) he decided to ask me out. Thanks that despite my worries over the previous 22 years that you had it all figured out!
Year 24-Thanks for my marriage to Tim. Thanks that despite the fact that we are both sinners, that you have used us to grow each other. Thanks for all those amazing fun times.
Year 25-Thanks for the chance to do an apprenticeship at RMIT. It was just amazing to have people donate money so that I could spend my time reading the Bible with Uni-students and encouraging them in their faith. Thanks for the blessing of being trained by the gifted and godly Steve and Heather. I grew so much.
Year 26- Thanks for Scots Church- for all the things we learnt and the dear friends we made. It is such a blessing even now when we are far away that we have such caring lovely "couple friends" who welcome us back as if we never left.
Year 27-Thanks for Bible College. I still can't believe I got that one precious year of studying your word. Thanks for that unexpected Gift.
Year 28-Thanks for Chatswood Baptist and particularly the chance of getting to work there. Only you could work things out so well! Thanks for Children's ministry and making it fun as well as challenging
Year 29-Thanks for the way that despite hard things and trials and time away from family, that you have held me tight to you, and grown me in my faith.
Year 30
Plenty of things I could say- but as it's only been 11 and half hours (or less than an hour depending if you are going via the actual time of birth), I won't dwell on them ;)
But even though I don't know what this year holds- I know that it is in the hands of a creator who loves me.
Thanks God for being in control of my life.
I love you.
Amen
B
So, to celebrate my birthday- I thought I would thank God for things that he has given me over the years of my life.
Year 0-Thanks God for giving me life!
Year 1- Thanks God for giving me awesome parents who told me of you and loved me so kindly and wisely
Year 2- Thanks for my sister!
Year 3-Thanks for the Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins who bring such joy
Year 4- Thanks for the house I grew up in, particularly the huge backyard where I could run around, dream, make up stories, and talk to you
Year 5- Thanks for primary school- for the things you taught me and the lessons I learnt about life and the world you created
Year 6- Thanks for my Grandparents farm- a place where I experienced so much joy.
Year 7- Thanks for St Mary's and St Paul's where I had such fun at church and where I learnt so many amazing things about you and your son.
Year 8-Thanks for the imagination that you gave me, and the many fun years (still continuing) of making up stories
Year 9-Thanks for friends you gave me
Year 10-Thanks for the time you gave me in the states- the beautiful world of Madison that you decided in your Divine plan to share with me
Year 11-Thanks for the experience of living in another country- and the love you gave me starting then for people who are from countries other than Australia
Year 12- Thanks for the church I went to in America- particularly my Sunday School teacher Laura who helped me understand what it means that we are all sinners
Year 13- Thanks for High school. Even though it was a hard 6 years, I learnt so much and I grew so much and I am thankful for how you used it to shape me into the person that I am.
Year 14- Thanks for Youth Group- for the leaders, for the opportunities for ministry, for all the fun times, and for the friends.
Year 15- Thanks for Jesus! (That is relevant for every year- but I might as well stick it here, and 15 was a hard year and knowing that Jesus died for me was something that helped get me through it)
Year 16-Thanks for letting me go overseas to Europe. You have blessed me with so many special experiences and I am grateful.
Year 17- Thanks for Beach Mission! It was such a key time in my walk with you, the friends I made are so precious, and it was there that I realised I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling people about Jesus. What a blessing!
Year 18-Thanks for giving me a love of learning.
Year 19-Thanks for Uni. Thanks for that fun crazy time. Thanks particularly for the Christian Union I was apart of- for the fun, the friendships, and the Bible teaching and training which has made such a difference to my Christian life and service.
Year 20-Thanks for my friend Fi- thanks for the way you have used her over the years to be such a source of encouragement and fun!
Year 21-Thanks for teaching me that I should find my self-worth in you and not in other people (still learning that one- but 21 was a key year)
Year 22-Thanks for giving me jobs- allowing me to earn money. Thanks for the growing up that took place and the lessons I learnt.
Year 23-Thanks for introducing me to the most amazing man in the world. Thanks that (after a while!) he decided to ask me out. Thanks that despite my worries over the previous 22 years that you had it all figured out!
Year 24-Thanks for my marriage to Tim. Thanks that despite the fact that we are both sinners, that you have used us to grow each other. Thanks for all those amazing fun times.
Year 25-Thanks for the chance to do an apprenticeship at RMIT. It was just amazing to have people donate money so that I could spend my time reading the Bible with Uni-students and encouraging them in their faith. Thanks for the blessing of being trained by the gifted and godly Steve and Heather. I grew so much.
Year 26- Thanks for Scots Church- for all the things we learnt and the dear friends we made. It is such a blessing even now when we are far away that we have such caring lovely "couple friends" who welcome us back as if we never left.
Year 27-Thanks for Bible College. I still can't believe I got that one precious year of studying your word. Thanks for that unexpected Gift.
Year 28-Thanks for Chatswood Baptist and particularly the chance of getting to work there. Only you could work things out so well! Thanks for Children's ministry and making it fun as well as challenging
Year 29-Thanks for the way that despite hard things and trials and time away from family, that you have held me tight to you, and grown me in my faith.
Year 30
Plenty of things I could say- but as it's only been 11 and half hours (or less than an hour depending if you are going via the actual time of birth), I won't dwell on them ;)
But even though I don't know what this year holds- I know that it is in the hands of a creator who loves me.
Thanks God for being in control of my life.
I love you.
Amen
B
Monday, April 12, 2010
Knowing myself
One of the keys I've found so far in surviving the full-time (or almost full-time) ministry life is knowing yourself.
On Sunday night we got back from Kyck- a fantastic youth convention. I spent much of the weekend driving around with and hanging with three girls from our youth Bible study. It was great fun and a huge blessing- and encouraging to see them all struggling with the Bible and what it had to say about Life and what really mattered. I nearly went deaf with the volume of music they insisted on in the car, and didn't sleep very much- but my only tears from the weekend were tears of joy as a reflected on the amazing God that I serve.
Knowing myself, I knew that after that kind of weekend, after that kind of intense, crazy, happy adrenaline I was going to have a crash day.
It's today.
I'm sitting at work, on my lunch break. I feel like I can't do anything. I feel like there is no way that I'm going to get through the term ahead. I feel like I can't possibly fill all the Sunday School teacher/helper spots. I feel like its all going to crash around me. Even the weekend with all its blessings seems to be not quite as good as I first imagined.
One of the things that was talked about on the weekend is the fleetingness of life. I came away inspired to make the most of the life I have left. To make it count.
I woke this morning. I didn't want to make it count. I just wanted to sleep in and be miserable!
But I know what I feel is not true.
I know that God in his goodness will provide.
I know I will survive.
Today is my down day.
And knowing that helps me to keep it together.
love B
On Sunday night we got back from Kyck- a fantastic youth convention. I spent much of the weekend driving around with and hanging with three girls from our youth Bible study. It was great fun and a huge blessing- and encouraging to see them all struggling with the Bible and what it had to say about Life and what really mattered. I nearly went deaf with the volume of music they insisted on in the car, and didn't sleep very much- but my only tears from the weekend were tears of joy as a reflected on the amazing God that I serve.
Knowing myself, I knew that after that kind of weekend, after that kind of intense, crazy, happy adrenaline I was going to have a crash day.
It's today.
I'm sitting at work, on my lunch break. I feel like I can't do anything. I feel like there is no way that I'm going to get through the term ahead. I feel like I can't possibly fill all the Sunday School teacher/helper spots. I feel like its all going to crash around me. Even the weekend with all its blessings seems to be not quite as good as I first imagined.
One of the things that was talked about on the weekend is the fleetingness of life. I came away inspired to make the most of the life I have left. To make it count.
I woke this morning. I didn't want to make it count. I just wanted to sleep in and be miserable!
But I know what I feel is not true.
I know that God in his goodness will provide.
I know I will survive.
Today is my down day.
And knowing that helps me to keep it together.
love B
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Reflection on the term that's been
Technically the term is not over yet- I still have two playgroups, several meetings, a Bible study and a scripture Easter lesson to go!
But I've spent much of the weekend thinking about the term that's been and I thought I'd share a little (don't worry, not everything!) of what's been coming up.
As I approached this year i was excited. For the first time in many years, with the exception of moving house- I was hitting a year without major changes. I normally hate change, and so I thought that it was going to be an easy year start.
It wasn't.
For a start, my job ramped up a notch. Normally when I tell people that I work 4 days a week Tim pipes up with the quip "No, you work full-time, your just paid four days". I normally disagree, but I've had to confess that this year- due to some ministry commitments that I have somewhat willingly taken on- it is definitely heading to at the least 4.5 days, some weeks 5.
Plus, to my complete shock, the fact that there wasn't any changes was hard.
So many people in my life are going to changes. Good changes. Exciting new jobs, changes to their families, whatever it might be. And in many ways I was feeling like i was being left behind- like my life and my world were stagnant. Envy- the sin monster who is my most violent of foes- reared up more overwhelming than ever.
It's been a hard term.
But I've been learning alot.
Unsurprisingly I suppose- the hard things have been nosing me toward God, and I've actually seen my trust in God grow. My huge fears about the future and what we might be doing are still there, but they now stand along side a strange new feeling, a sense that maybe uncertainty and suffering are okay- if they are for Jesus.
And I've rediscovered in the last 4 weeks a love for my job.
As term began I knew I was leading a Bible study- and I knew I didn't have time for it. I felt a bit resentful that once again something had fallen to me to do- because there was no one else. My feelings where not helped when the first week for various good reasons- no one came. I sat in the room where the Bible study was suppose to be and managed just to hold in my tears.
The next week Bible study happened. And it was wonderful!
I forgot how much I loved leading Bible study. I forgot how special it is to sit down with other Christian women and see what God has to say to us. In my frustration at the situation I forgot the privileged that it is to serve.
So those are some of the things that have been going on. I am very tired and weary, and looking forward to the holidays so I can stop, and work four days for a change :)
So tired in fact, that I can't think of a good end to this post. So...
love B
But I've spent much of the weekend thinking about the term that's been and I thought I'd share a little (don't worry, not everything!) of what's been coming up.
As I approached this year i was excited. For the first time in many years, with the exception of moving house- I was hitting a year without major changes. I normally hate change, and so I thought that it was going to be an easy year start.
It wasn't.
For a start, my job ramped up a notch. Normally when I tell people that I work 4 days a week Tim pipes up with the quip "No, you work full-time, your just paid four days". I normally disagree, but I've had to confess that this year- due to some ministry commitments that I have somewhat willingly taken on- it is definitely heading to at the least 4.5 days, some weeks 5.
Plus, to my complete shock, the fact that there wasn't any changes was hard.
So many people in my life are going to changes. Good changes. Exciting new jobs, changes to their families, whatever it might be. And in many ways I was feeling like i was being left behind- like my life and my world were stagnant. Envy- the sin monster who is my most violent of foes- reared up more overwhelming than ever.
It's been a hard term.
But I've been learning alot.
Unsurprisingly I suppose- the hard things have been nosing me toward God, and I've actually seen my trust in God grow. My huge fears about the future and what we might be doing are still there, but they now stand along side a strange new feeling, a sense that maybe uncertainty and suffering are okay- if they are for Jesus.
And I've rediscovered in the last 4 weeks a love for my job.
As term began I knew I was leading a Bible study- and I knew I didn't have time for it. I felt a bit resentful that once again something had fallen to me to do- because there was no one else. My feelings where not helped when the first week for various good reasons- no one came. I sat in the room where the Bible study was suppose to be and managed just to hold in my tears.
The next week Bible study happened. And it was wonderful!
I forgot how much I loved leading Bible study. I forgot how special it is to sit down with other Christian women and see what God has to say to us. In my frustration at the situation I forgot the privileged that it is to serve.
So those are some of the things that have been going on. I am very tired and weary, and looking forward to the holidays so I can stop, and work four days for a change :)
So tired in fact, that I can't think of a good end to this post. So...
love B
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Mission time...and NZ
When its time to write a blog post- conveniently under the box where I write is a box to "label" my posts. They have suggestions of what you might label your posts, like "Vacation", "Fall" and..."scooters"?
the other ones are very American, but I can't exactly work out why enough people in this wide world would blog about scooters for it to be a "e.g." of what to label a post!
Anyway, this is just a way of introducing the fact that I am writing about two very different things today, and it will be labeled accordingly.
Mission time:
On Sunday Tim will be away for 8 days on College Mission. He is going to Pitt town (I know what your thinking, it sounds like a HOLE!!!!), where he will be helping out with various bits and pieces as well as preaching during the evening service on the 28th of July. Please pray for him and the team.
But also pray for me. I'm beginning to feel a little petty about this, particularly as some wives are having 8 days looking after kids without their husbands. But I am really nervous about it. I hate being home alone, and I'm really going to miss him. Pray for me too- particularly that I will get better at coping without him- as I'm sure I will have to do at various stages in our ministry careers!
NZ- just because until now I haven't put any photos up or talked about NZ and I think I should show you at least a few snaps. It was wonderful and beautiful and just what I needed.
Just a bit of a snap shot of the lovely scenery- and the only "selfie" I was happy with out of the 8 or so we took :)
love B
the other ones are very American, but I can't exactly work out why enough people in this wide world would blog about scooters for it to be a "e.g." of what to label a post!
Anyway, this is just a way of introducing the fact that I am writing about two very different things today, and it will be labeled accordingly.
Mission time:
On Sunday Tim will be away for 8 days on College Mission. He is going to Pitt town (I know what your thinking, it sounds like a HOLE!!!!), where he will be helping out with various bits and pieces as well as preaching during the evening service on the 28th of July. Please pray for him and the team.
But also pray for me. I'm beginning to feel a little petty about this, particularly as some wives are having 8 days looking after kids without their husbands. But I am really nervous about it. I hate being home alone, and I'm really going to miss him. Pray for me too- particularly that I will get better at coping without him- as I'm sure I will have to do at various stages in our ministry careers!
NZ- just because until now I haven't put any photos up or talked about NZ and I think I should show you at least a few snaps. It was wonderful and beautiful and just what I needed.
Just a bit of a snap shot of the lovely scenery- and the only "selfie" I was happy with out of the 8 or so we took :)
love B
Sunday, February 28, 2010
'Fraidie-Cat
Most of the time, when people talk to me about money, about how we survive- I give a glib answer about how it's not so bad, and how God has provided.
But I think I give an impression that I am someone who is incredibly trustful of God to provide for me everything I need.
That's not true. I'm a stressor, and I am a particular stressor about money. It is true that God has provided, he has done amazing, amazing things to look after us, such as finding us great places to live, providing generous supporters at various times in our ministry training, and he unexpectedly handed me my job when I was least expecting it.
But there are times when I just don't trust him at all.
One of those times was Saturday night.
That day, when Tim was away at a men's convention, I had opened up our latest credit card bill. I don't know why it didn't hit me then, maybe because it was a beautiful day and I was happy and content, and not overtired and grumpy and stressed about the ministry day ahead.
But that night- the flood gates opened.
You see the credit card bill was (almost) exactly equal to the amount in our savings account. As I told Tim about the amount- I began to cry.
I began to cry because for the first time since we'd gotten married- we weren't going to have any savings. Savings for me were such a safety net. Oh well, I would say, even if x or y happens, at least we have savings.
Tim and I talked and talked and talked about it. He tried to comfort me, he tried to remind me of God's goodness to us. He tried to talk about how it would all be okay, that God would provide as he always did. He said, as he always says, that if I can't handle it we don't have to do this- he can go back to town-planning for a few years, or even forever.
And through out our conversation I kept interrupting him to yell at God, to say, I just can't take it anymore Father, why does everything have to be so hard!
The next day Tim was unexpectedly given his check for his student minister position at church. It will clear before the credit card bill comes out- meaning that my fear of having no savings will not eventuate- we will have more savings at the end of next week than we did at the start of this week.
I think sometimes when you are a women preparing to be a ministry wife- people look up to you and go "Wow, I could never do that". They think of the things that I am giving up- perhaps owning a big house, or even ever owning a house, the financial security, knowing where we will be living and having a choice in the matter. They think I must be really brave and really strong in my faith.
I'm not brave, I'm one of the biggest fraidie-cats I know. And there are times when my faith is as small as a mustard seed.
But I have a great God who somehow in his grace and goodness- provides for me anyway.
love B
But I think I give an impression that I am someone who is incredibly trustful of God to provide for me everything I need.
That's not true. I'm a stressor, and I am a particular stressor about money. It is true that God has provided, he has done amazing, amazing things to look after us, such as finding us great places to live, providing generous supporters at various times in our ministry training, and he unexpectedly handed me my job when I was least expecting it.
But there are times when I just don't trust him at all.
One of those times was Saturday night.
That day, when Tim was away at a men's convention, I had opened up our latest credit card bill. I don't know why it didn't hit me then, maybe because it was a beautiful day and I was happy and content, and not overtired and grumpy and stressed about the ministry day ahead.
But that night- the flood gates opened.
You see the credit card bill was (almost) exactly equal to the amount in our savings account. As I told Tim about the amount- I began to cry.
I began to cry because for the first time since we'd gotten married- we weren't going to have any savings. Savings for me were such a safety net. Oh well, I would say, even if x or y happens, at least we have savings.
Tim and I talked and talked and talked about it. He tried to comfort me, he tried to remind me of God's goodness to us. He tried to talk about how it would all be okay, that God would provide as he always did. He said, as he always says, that if I can't handle it we don't have to do this- he can go back to town-planning for a few years, or even forever.
And through out our conversation I kept interrupting him to yell at God, to say, I just can't take it anymore Father, why does everything have to be so hard!
The next day Tim was unexpectedly given his check for his student minister position at church. It will clear before the credit card bill comes out- meaning that my fear of having no savings will not eventuate- we will have more savings at the end of next week than we did at the start of this week.
I think sometimes when you are a women preparing to be a ministry wife- people look up to you and go "Wow, I could never do that". They think of the things that I am giving up- perhaps owning a big house, or even ever owning a house, the financial security, knowing where we will be living and having a choice in the matter. They think I must be really brave and really strong in my faith.
I'm not brave, I'm one of the biggest fraidie-cats I know. And there are times when my faith is as small as a mustard seed.
But I have a great God who somehow in his grace and goodness- provides for me anyway.
love B
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Power of the Word
This week has been a wonderful ministry week- even if its been not so good on the home-front (I've had a poor sick vomiting Tim on my hands).
After 6 months of trying I've got to meet up to read the Bible with two Mum's who became Christians in the last 12-18 months. One of the surprises I had was how hard it is to pin a Mum down for coffee and Bible study- even when their child is in Day-care or being minded by someone else. Mum's are so busy even when the kids aren't there, it can be hard in their minds to justify the "luxury" of sitting down with someone to read the Bible.
But I wanted to share one story in relation to one of the Mums.
She became a Christian through someone else- about 4 weeks after I met her and she started coming to church. It was really exciting. And then her 1 year old daughter, who had been living with her mum, came to live with her.
Life became (quite understandably) crazy, as she got re-used to being a full-time Mum, and a functional single one at that (her husband works in another country and only can visit once in a while).
I really wanted to encourage her in her faith but she didn't feel up to coming to church or Bible study or Bible reading or anything.
I was despairing a bit- how could i help her in this difficult stage, and convince her that it was important?
I was trying to work out how best to encourage her one day when myself, her and her daughter went out for lunch. She was really stressed and so I pulled out the Bible and read the bit in Philippians about not being anxious and praying and I explained how this helped me when I was stressed to remember that the best thing to do when you are stressed is to pray and hand it to God. She liked it so much that I copied it out on a piece of paper with a nice picture for her to stick up on her wall.
And as the months progressed she kept talking about how much it helped her, when she was stressed she would look at the verse and remember to pray, and remember God was working in her. She used it so much she learnt it by heart and every week or so she would have different things she had learnt from it that she wanted to tell me.
It was excited to see even a few verses of the Bible changing someone life.
Now we are actually reading the Bible together once a fortnight. It's so exciting seeing how hungry she is to read the Bible and to have God change her to be more like Jesus.
Yay! Praise God for great ministry weeks.
love B
After 6 months of trying I've got to meet up to read the Bible with two Mum's who became Christians in the last 12-18 months. One of the surprises I had was how hard it is to pin a Mum down for coffee and Bible study- even when their child is in Day-care or being minded by someone else. Mum's are so busy even when the kids aren't there, it can be hard in their minds to justify the "luxury" of sitting down with someone to read the Bible.
But I wanted to share one story in relation to one of the Mums.
She became a Christian through someone else- about 4 weeks after I met her and she started coming to church. It was really exciting. And then her 1 year old daughter, who had been living with her mum, came to live with her.
Life became (quite understandably) crazy, as she got re-used to being a full-time Mum, and a functional single one at that (her husband works in another country and only can visit once in a while).
I really wanted to encourage her in her faith but she didn't feel up to coming to church or Bible study or Bible reading or anything.
I was despairing a bit- how could i help her in this difficult stage, and convince her that it was important?
I was trying to work out how best to encourage her one day when myself, her and her daughter went out for lunch. She was really stressed and so I pulled out the Bible and read the bit in Philippians about not being anxious and praying and I explained how this helped me when I was stressed to remember that the best thing to do when you are stressed is to pray and hand it to God. She liked it so much that I copied it out on a piece of paper with a nice picture for her to stick up on her wall.
And as the months progressed she kept talking about how much it helped her, when she was stressed she would look at the verse and remember to pray, and remember God was working in her. She used it so much she learnt it by heart and every week or so she would have different things she had learnt from it that she wanted to tell me.
It was excited to see even a few verses of the Bible changing someone life.
Now we are actually reading the Bible together once a fortnight. It's so exciting seeing how hungry she is to read the Bible and to have God change her to be more like Jesus.
Yay! Praise God for great ministry weeks.
love B
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Typical Monday
It's Monday 2:30pm.
I haven't yet gone for my walk
I still don't know if the people I invited to dinner are coming
I still haven't thought about dinner, which means i haven't given Tim the shopping list, which means he hasn't gone shopping yet.
I still haven't got the house clean enough for when people do come.
I still haven't started unpacking boxes so I can find the little book I need for Playgroup tomorrow.
I still haven't seen my friend who I was going to visit this Arvo. Now that I think about it- I still haven't text to see if she is still free to catch up anyway.
It's Monday and I'm recovering from a big Sunday.
Sometimes I feel lazy that I get so little done on Monday.
Except on Mondays. I'm too exhausted to think about it.
I'm so glad I'm still working only 4 days a week!
love B
I haven't yet gone for my walk
I still don't know if the people I invited to dinner are coming
I still haven't thought about dinner, which means i haven't given Tim the shopping list, which means he hasn't gone shopping yet.
I still haven't got the house clean enough for when people do come.
I still haven't started unpacking boxes so I can find the little book I need for Playgroup tomorrow.
I still haven't seen my friend who I was going to visit this Arvo. Now that I think about it- I still haven't text to see if she is still free to catch up anyway.
It's Monday and I'm recovering from a big Sunday.
Sometimes I feel lazy that I get so little done on Monday.
Except on Mondays. I'm too exhausted to think about it.
I'm so glad I'm still working only 4 days a week!
love B
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I'm back
I'm back.
Back in the country
Back in Sydney.
Back at church.
But I am not back in Stanmore. Because as of Friday Tim and I moved into our new house! I actually really like it. I'm not sure if that's because its so new that it's like we are living in a hotel (only a hotel filled with boxes), but I suspect it's just because it's such a cool little place. There is still lots of fun to be had- we don't have any hot water because Tim didn't realise it was gas and so didn't organise for gas to come in, and there are an awful lot of boxes (some full some empty) cuttering the pathways between everything but it's got our stuff in it and our pictures and it feels like home. The home feeling was heavily emphasised also by the three couples who provided lunch, dinner, and cookies/tea for us (and these are two couples we know vaguely and one I had never met!) The benefits of living in a Bible College community house.
New Zealand and Melbourne were both amazingly wonderful. I don't really have time to go into detail but as this is the one time I get internet access before Tim and I head off to a camp I thought I should at least let you know that much.
Feeling overwhelmed with the prospect of the year ahead, but so much more calm after today- just seeing the people i serve and going "Oh that's right, I love these people" makes the work ahead seem more achievable.
love B
Back in the country
Back in Sydney.
Back at church.
But I am not back in Stanmore. Because as of Friday Tim and I moved into our new house! I actually really like it. I'm not sure if that's because its so new that it's like we are living in a hotel (only a hotel filled with boxes), but I suspect it's just because it's such a cool little place. There is still lots of fun to be had- we don't have any hot water because Tim didn't realise it was gas and so didn't organise for gas to come in, and there are an awful lot of boxes (some full some empty) cuttering the pathways between everything but it's got our stuff in it and our pictures and it feels like home. The home feeling was heavily emphasised also by the three couples who provided lunch, dinner, and cookies/tea for us (and these are two couples we know vaguely and one I had never met!) The benefits of living in a Bible College community house.
New Zealand and Melbourne were both amazingly wonderful. I don't really have time to go into detail but as this is the one time I get internet access before Tim and I head off to a camp I thought I should at least let you know that much.
Feeling overwhelmed with the prospect of the year ahead, but so much more calm after today- just seeing the people i serve and going "Oh that's right, I love these people" makes the work ahead seem more achievable.
love B
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