Seven Years

Everyone keeps saying, when I tell them it's been our seven year anniversary on Sunday, "That's a good number".  It makes me laugh, because in the grand scheme of things, seven is not any special milestone.  Maybe its just a Christian thing :)

But every anniversary feels like a special milestone, in my book.  It is by God's grace we made our promises, and it is by God's grace that we keep them.  Anniversaries are a great time to talk about the fun times, and to make each other feel special.  But they are also a good time to give God all the glory for the blessings of our lives.

Tim and I celebrated by having a special dinner at Crown.  I sat looking out at the Yarra River and the Rialto thinking- we really are in Melbourne again.  And that also seems like a special turning point in our marriage, and another thing to be greatful to God for.

Thanks Tim, for Seven years of being everything you promised to be and more.  You have proven yourself, through good times and bad, to be a faithful friend and husband, and such fun.  I am so grateful to God for you.
Love BG
PS If you are curious (which I was) the traditional gifts of 7 years are Cooper and Wool- a definately improvement on paper and tin!  Maybe we are finally approaching something good enough to buy for each other :)

New Years Resolutions and the Fear factor

I have always been a resolution kind of person.  Even though I've always thought the whole NYE party thing was a bit silly, the idea of setting goals and working hard has always appealed to me.  I am not a naturally organised person, so having a few little goals to spur me on works really well.

2011 has been a tough year, and I am very, very happy to see the back of it.  My resolution for last year: Survive.  And I did it.  Just.

I really, really want 2012 to be a better year.  But, as God would ordain it- I am looking at a year full of uncertainty.  Church planting.  Sorting out a job.  New-but-old city.  Everything is familiar but different.  And so many people around me are going through changes that mean that relationships are changing as well.

My temptation is just to set the same low bar on next year, to just get through it.

But I don't want to!  I don't want to survive, I want to thrive!  I want to make the most out of this year, I want to make the most out of me that I can, no matter how much uncertainty rests ahead.  I want God to change me and grow me into the likeness of his son.

So, in honour of that wish- here are my NY resolutions- under the three themes of my blog

LIFE: I will learn how to cook pastry and I will overcome my fear of cooking sugar and learn to make things with toffee!  I will get to the end of each day with a tidy lounge room and kitchen.

WRITING: I will finish my novel, I will get some short stories published, I will get some manuscript advice, I will begin the process of getting my novel published.

FAITH: I will devote this year to Loving God will all my heart and soul and I will memorise the book of Mark.

I feel like the last two need a way of explanation.  Loving God will all my heart and soul is a commandment from God, and something that of course is on my to do list every year.  But one of my reflections as I end this year is that I don't enjoy God as I should.  God is so great and good, and I just don't appreciate him.  There is so much joy to be found in that relationship that I don't bother to access.  One of my favourite Psalms- number 73 says "Whom have I in heaven but you.  And the earth has nothing I desire besides you".  That is my dream for this year.  That my love and appreciation for God will grow to the extent that my joy in that relationship will rise above the tough things that will no doubt come next year.

Memorising Mark?  I wasn't sure if I should write that here, because it sounds a bit proud and show-offy.  But let me explain.

The last three years i have worked for a church and under my 'portfolio' so to speak has been encouraging Scripture memorising for Adults and kids.  Lots of people have commented to me through this process that they "find memorising verses from the Bible hard".  And I, with my natural talent for memorisation, didn't understand.  I could do it, why couldn't they.  Overtime I realised this wasn't fair.

About three months ago I decided to memorise part of Jonah as preparation for a Bible study.  I was absolutely amazed about how helpful it was for getting to know the passage really well.  It was by far the most helpful Bible study prep I had ever done.  But, to my amazement, it was also easy. I probably spent 1 hour learning one chapter over the space of three days.  It was alot more work than learning a verse, but it was manageable.

And I couldn't help thinking God has made me good at memorising his word.  And here I am showing off about the one verse I learn once a month.  I felt rebuked but also inspired.  How great would it be for my Christian walk if I knew a Gospel off my heart.  How helpful would it be for my ministry!

I'm really nervous!  It is a big ask.

But if my aim is to love God more- I think having such a big chunk of his Word in my head is a great place to start.

You might have noticed there are no specific mentions of Tim.  Of course I will aim to be a better wife and friend to him!  But it's my experience that loving God more will be the best thing for my marriage.  And the clean house won't do any harm either ;)
love BG

6 years

A week ago today Tim and I were celebrating Tim's brother's wedding. Six years ago today, Tim and I were celebrating as well.

Being married to Tim has been the best thing about these last 6 years. He is a super husband and such a blessing to me. He is such an encouragement to my faith and a great supportor of my ministry and dreams.

Praise God for another year of loving each other and keeping our promises.

love B

Only one night away...

But, given that- absolutely wonderful.

Highlight? The gorgeous B&B? The walk along the ocean? The Spa bath?

No. It was the same highlight that I've had from every holiday since I've been married.

The highlight was Tim.

love B

Two Nights, one glorious day

There are certain things I know about myself.

For the sake of my mental health, every so often, I need two nights away with my husband.

Two nights.

Not one.

Two.

Don't get me wrong. One night is wonderful! It is so wonderful. But the problem is that it ends up being just that. One night.

Mornings packing, cleaning the house so it doesn't depress the holiday out of us when we get home, and thinking- we should get a bite to eat before we go. Arrive at the place usually around 3. Have a lovely, lovely time. But then, the next day, once you've packed up and eaten lunch and you hit that afternoon slump, you end up heading home. To a home that isn't quite as clean as you remembered. To computers and books and xbox and television and whatever is happening the next day. Not that these things are bad. But suddenly the holiday grinds to a holt.

But when you have two nights holiday- you end up with this glorious, completely-contained holiday day in the middle. And THAT is what I need right now.

Tim and I were trying to work out it.

First plan was for me to leave work early on Thursday- so that we could go somewhere for Thursday night and Friday night.

Commitment Saturday morning. Scratch that.

I didn't know what i could do! Then my scripture class was cancelled for Thursday and one of the lovely Mum's in my Bible study offered to run an end of year morning tea and prayer time for that day so I could take it off.

I enthusiastically told Tim: "We can go away Wednesday night and Thursday night".

Tim: "But we have "Food for Thought" on that night" (FFT is our annual big church dinner when people can invite their friends to hear about Jesus)

GRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr... (don't get me wrong- I LOVE Food For Though- but the timing is just...Grrrrrr)

We still haven't worked out exactly what it will look like- but we are getting our two nights. Even if it means starting our mini-break at 10pm on Wednesday night!

It has been a big year. And while I have had lovely holiday time in Melbourne, I have not had holiday time with Tim.

I need my one glorious day.
love B

Technology and compliments

Tim has recently acquired a new toy- an iPhone.

When they first came out he was a little bit interested but that interest quickly waned. After his old phone busted and he was finally due for a new plan- the topic came up again. And after numerous debates and discussions, now he has one.

I spent the first week joking that the iPhone was the third partner in our relationship, as when we went to bed, rather than speaking to me he would be checking facebook or playing the Settlers-of-Catan ap!

And at a recent seminar on marriage at college- when people had to put up suggestions of what was "marriage intimacy" killers- several people suggested iPhone and ipods!

But there are some benefits to our relationship.

I love compliments, and I particularly appreciate when I'm feeling down having Tim list all the things he appreciates about me. He willingly does it for me very regularly, but it can be a bit taxing for him.

Enter the iPhone!

Now- with the excellent voice recorder software- Tim has made a copy of him saying how much he loves and appreciates me. So whenever I need to hear it- its there- in just the touch of a button :)

And now, with Tim being away for the weekend, he's sent me a copy so I can hear his sexy voice saying lovely things whenever I want!

I think the iPhone can stay :)
love B

Pictures from the wedding week

Here are some pics from my crazy but wonderful wedding week:
The first needs a bit of an explanation. On the Tuesday before the wedding I fulfilled a life long dream by being the entertainment at a kids birthday, specifically I was "Princess Belinda" for Ella's (one of the wedding flower-girls) Princess party. Don't have that many good pics yet of it, but here is a little self-portrait featuring a cute little tiara. In the car on the way to the wedding, with my fellow bridesmaids Kate and Lisa

Hmm, not sure how to turn pictures around, but here is me arriving at the church

Kate and I- gives you a sense of the dress, which I absolutely loved. They worked so well, and even though Lisa had a maternity version made (she was six months pregnant) it still worked really well together

Me and Tim! The wedding week was the longest we'd been apart since we got married.

Me and the beautiful Ella (4)- she was a flowergirl and very delightful company in the week leading up to the wedding

And Fi the beautiful bride!

love B

My week

As I sit down to write about this week, I feel like falling asleep on the key board instead.

It has been a great week. But you don't realise how tiring it is running around doing little errands until you come home and stop and realise how nice that feels.

It's been a great week. But you can't just go on holidays after a very busy and difficult month and expect recovery to be instantaneous. I am still emotionally winding down, and returning to a normal Belinda. Hopefully I will be there before I go back to work :)

It's been a great week. But not as I expected. Rather than heaps of social time with Fi, it's been lots of quality family time, and time hanging with the other Bridesmaids. Two people who I didn't know that well, who I've always liked from afar, and who I now know are as lovely as I'd imagined.

It's been a great week. But it isn't over. Not tomorrow but the next day I get to see my friend Fi walk down the aile, not as a rehearsal but for real. I get to hear her make amazing promises and start a new stage of life with her husband.

I'm so excited.
love B

30 years worth of thankyous!

On Kyck we were challenged to not be people who were focused on gaining things that don't last (money, fame, things etc), but to be people who thanked God for the good gifts he gives us.

So, to celebrate my birthday- I thought I would thank God for things that he has given me over the years of my life.

Year 0-Thanks God for giving me life!
Year 1- Thanks God for giving me awesome parents who told me of you and loved me so kindly and wisely
Year 2- Thanks for my sister!
Year 3-Thanks for the Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins who bring such joy
Year 4- Thanks for the house I grew up in, particularly the huge backyard where I could run around, dream, make up stories, and talk to you
Year 5- Thanks for primary school- for the things you taught me and the lessons I learnt about life and the world you created
Year 6- Thanks for my Grandparents farm- a place where I experienced so much joy.
Year 7- Thanks for St Mary's and St Paul's where I had such fun at church and where I learnt so many amazing things about you and your son.
Year 8-Thanks for the imagination that you gave me, and the many fun years (still continuing) of making up stories
Year 9-Thanks for friends you gave me
Year 10-Thanks for the time you gave me in the states- the beautiful world of Madison that you decided in your Divine plan to share with me
Year 11-Thanks for the experience of living in another country- and the love you gave me starting then for people who are from countries other than Australia
Year 12- Thanks for the church I went to in America- particularly my Sunday School teacher Laura who helped me understand what it means that we are all sinners
Year 13- Thanks for High school. Even though it was a hard 6 years, I learnt so much and I grew so much and I am thankful for how you used it to shape me into the person that I am.
Year 14- Thanks for Youth Group- for the leaders, for the opportunities for ministry, for all the fun times, and for the friends.
Year 15- Thanks for Jesus! (That is relevant for every year- but I might as well stick it here, and 15 was a hard year and knowing that Jesus died for me was something that helped get me through it)
Year 16-Thanks for letting me go overseas to Europe. You have blessed me with so many special experiences and I am grateful.
Year 17- Thanks for Beach Mission! It was such a key time in my walk with you, the friends I made are so precious, and it was there that I realised I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling people about Jesus. What a blessing!
Year 18-Thanks for giving me a love of learning.
Year 19-Thanks for Uni. Thanks for that fun crazy time. Thanks particularly for the Christian Union I was apart of- for the fun, the friendships, and the Bible teaching and training which has made such a difference to my Christian life and service.
Year 20-Thanks for my friend Fi- thanks for the way you have used her over the years to be such a source of encouragement and fun!
Year 21-Thanks for teaching me that I should find my self-worth in you and not in other people (still learning that one- but 21 was a key year)
Year 22-Thanks for giving me jobs- allowing me to earn money. Thanks for the growing up that took place and the lessons I learnt.
Year 23-Thanks for introducing me to the most amazing man in the world. Thanks that (after a while!) he decided to ask me out. Thanks that despite my worries over the previous 22 years that you had it all figured out!
Year 24-Thanks for my marriage to Tim. Thanks that despite the fact that we are both sinners, that you have used us to grow each other. Thanks for all those amazing fun times.
Year 25-Thanks for the chance to do an apprenticeship at RMIT. It was just amazing to have people donate money so that I could spend my time reading the Bible with Uni-students and encouraging them in their faith. Thanks for the blessing of being trained by the gifted and godly Steve and Heather. I grew so much.
Year 26- Thanks for Scots Church- for all the things we learnt and the dear friends we made. It is such a blessing even now when we are far away that we have such caring lovely "couple friends" who welcome us back as if we never left.
Year 27-Thanks for Bible College. I still can't believe I got that one precious year of studying your word. Thanks for that unexpected Gift.
Year 28-Thanks for Chatswood Baptist and particularly the chance of getting to work there. Only you could work things out so well! Thanks for Children's ministry and making it fun as well as challenging
Year 29-Thanks for the way that despite hard things and trials and time away from family, that you have held me tight to you, and grown me in my faith.

Year 30
Plenty of things I could say- but as it's only been 11 and half hours (or less than an hour depending if you are going via the actual time of birth), I won't dwell on them ;)
But even though I don't know what this year holds- I know that it is in the hands of a creator who loves me.
Thanks God for being in control of my life.
I love you.
Amen
B

Work, weddings, and 5 years

This week, as well as being a hard week, has been a very exciting week!

It was a hard week because I started work, and though sometimes I love my work, I DO NOT like the first few weeks of the year. I'm partially writing this so that next year I will remember and be prepared.

Do you want to know a secret? The first 2 weeks of doing my job I was actually really depressed because I kept thinking "I can't believe I've signed up for a job that I find so hard. How am I going to survive this year?"

But then I got to the 3rd week, and it all started to come together.

The truth is that I am not a desk job/organising the masses kind of person- but that is one aspect of my job. And I can bear it when I also get to spend times with Women and Kids and teach the Bible. But on the weeks when all I do is sit at a computer trying to organise materials and teams of people I get very depressed and very stressed. So while I feel overwhelmed that this time next week everything will be up and running- I am also relieved at the thought.

It was an exciting week because of weddings!

As previously started, my friend Fi is getting married. It's been fun chatting about it, fun thinking about it. I get to be a bridesmaid which I am very excited about (and honoured). I have friends who have been bridesmaids a few times and so things like dress shopping and hens night and hairstyles are just things that don't excite them. But having only been a bridesmaid once when I was in year 8 (for my Auntie Clare)- this stuff is very, very exciting for me. And even more, it will be so precious to get to be so involved in such a special day- and to assist her and encourage her as she prepares for this new stage of life as a wife. Dresses and flowers are all very well, but to be able to pray with her on the morning of her wedding is I suspect going to be the most special thing.

And- it was an exciting week because yesterday Tim and I were married 5 years. I am very thankful to God for the way he has sustained us through this time (not to mention for all the fun we have had along the way:) ). One thing we did yesterday was go through all the ways that we thought each other had grown in the years of marriage. It was encouraging to know that in Tim's eyes I was a better wife now than when we married and vise-versea!

Anyway, that's my week (trying to think up a more exciting end to this post but can't be bothered!)
love B

Engaged!

I am so very excited!

Tim's "little" brother (he's the tallest in the family!) has just gotten engaged to his girlfriend Angie. Angela is not only one of the 6 people who read my blog ;) but she is also a dear friend and I am so excited that she is going to be my sister!

Congratulations Joel and Angie! My prayers are with you as you prepare for your big day and your life together to come.

Wish I could be there with you to celebrate! Weeks like this are the hardest ones to be away!

love B

So Long and so short!

Thursday was Tim and my 4 year anniversary. We had a lovely night away in the Hunter Valley- and despite the excitement of a little "creative" navigating on behalf of google maps- we had a wonderful time when we finally got there ;)

We were talking about how weird it seems that we are at four years. It seems both too long to be right, or too short.

Too long because four years to us sounds like so much time. Two Thirds of high school, all of Uni. Surely that much time can't have passed since our wedding day?

But then it also seems really short- because there is such a comfortable, normal, familiarity to our relationship that makes me think: "Only four years. I feel like we've been together like this forever".

I am very thankful to God for getting us through these last four years- still doing what we promised four years ago. And of course thankful for such a wonderful husband to begin with!

As to the rest of my life- my new job has started, and while I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed with new information and systems and jobs to do- I am very, very thankful that I have had God to help me through. Can't do ministry without him for some reason! Please pray for me, that I will serve him well in my new role.
love B

Tim and I- some pictures from our wedding

Thought you might like some pics from our wedding to end the story (sorry if they are all out of line- can't get it to do what I want)

Here is three people from my story- from the left- Fi, Sandy, and Mike (the gorgeous little girl is my cousin Kate)

Here is one of my favourite shots of Tim and I, isn't it gorgeous with all the flowers!

And Finally!

Tim and I, Part 5

The final installment!

I turned up to NTE and hit my first hurdle. At NTE people get placed within different college accommodation- and Tim and I were in adjacent but different colleges. This meant we eat meals in different places.

I saw Tim alot, but it was never at a good time to talk. The first day, he was with his friends and so all I could say was hi. The second day, I saw him while I was busy talking to an old school friend I hadn't seen for 3 years. Again, no time to talk. My sister (who knew about Tim) and I hatched up a plan. She was in the same college as Tim, so we swapped name tags and I ate in Tim's dinning room. Not that it did any good, again we said hi, but I was too shy to go up and sit with him and he didn't approach me either.

As it got to the second last night I started to despair. As I went to a special question time about mission, I looked around for Tim, but he wasn't there. I tried not to get too discouraged.

Tim was going to the question time, but he was late because he was talking to his mentor Ben. You see, Ben was staying in the same College as me with his family. I had been helping out with his kids, and this had a big impact on Ben. So Ben pulled Tim aside and told him how I'd been helping them out, and that he should ask me out. After this conversation Tim walked in to question time and saw me.

After question Tim, his friend and my friends walked back toward our colleges. Tim and I lagged behind and talked. It was a good conversation, and I opened up quite a bit about how I was feeling generally about life. It was our first really deep conversation and I was touched by Tim's concern for me. As I returned to my room I began to feel more optimistic about my chances with Tim.

The next day I didn't see him until the last talk. After the talk I hoped to be able to walk back with him, but it was raining so everyone was driving cars. Then I thought I'd go up and talk to him, but he was praying with Mike Veith so I couldn't. I decided to go 'visit' my sister Sandy at her colleges supper and see if I could talk to Tim that way. He wasn't there, and I settled into what I thought would be a disappointing evening.

So what was Tim doing during that time?

This next bit of the story still humbles me, and I often feel I don't live up to it! That nights the talk that we had heard actually covered the character of a godly wife. Tim had been listening and thinking. At this stage he still wasn't sure about asking me out. During the talk Tim was struck that I was the most godly women he knew (see what I mean about feeling humbled!) and he decided right then and there that he would ask me out.

The praying he was doing with Mike Veith was about asking me out!

He went to my supper room to find me but I wasn't there. He returned to his own supper room and there I was. He came up to talk to me, and my perceptive wonderful Sandy excused herself and didn't come back! Tim and I talked for probably about an hour that night. It was getting late, I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, and so I said I probably had to go to bed. Tim asked if he could walk me to my college and I said yes. Tim asked me how I had found the talk, and I said it was great. Tim said during the section about a godly wife he thought about me! He said he thought I was a wonderful person and he'd love to have the chance to get to know me better. Would I like to have dinner sometime? I said yes, and offered him my number. As we were about to part he said "I was hoping you would say yes!". I laughed and said "I was hoping you would ask!". Up until that point Tim had no idea that I had been interested!

So that is how God brought together Tim and I. I am very, very thankful because my funny, godly husband is such a blessing and I can't think of anyone else in the world I would rather be married to. God knew exactly what I needed and he gave it to me. I am so thankful!

Hope you enjoyed our story!

love B

Tim and I Part 4

My memories of Wednesday Bible Talk are very dear. It was such a great time, brilliant talks, entertaining new friends, and of course time with Tim. Wednesdays were my favourite days, and I often found it so hard to concentrate at work, I was so happy! Again, and again I prayed "God, please make me sensible, and not silly". And to my amazement it worked. God helped me not to be constantly imagining Tim and I having a future together, to not imagine him to be something he wasn't. When I thought about him, I thought about what I actually knew about him, not what I hoped he'd be like. This was an amazing thing for me, and such a gift from God.

Meanwhile, several of Tim's friends started asking about me. "Belinda's coming pretty regularly, maybe she's interested in you?". "No" Tim assured them, "I think she's just here for the talks".

As the end of the year approached, Wednesday Bible Talk was going to finish up for good, and with it my opportunities to hang out with Tim. As this time approached, I found out Tim was actually preaching one week. It was on a week where I normal had Bible study, a fact we discussed the week before. But I really wanted to go, and I figured by turning up hopefully Tim would figure out I was interested and maybe make a move. I explained to my Bible study leader that a friend was preaching, and was excused from going. That Wednesday I was so scared! I really thought I was laying my cards out on the table. What would he do?

And so I turned up and heard his talk and it was wonderful! Tim is a very gifted speaker, but what I really appreciated was having a window into his relationship with God. And after the talk we hung out as usual and I wondered if he knew why I was there. That night he pulled me aside and said "I know this is normally your Bible study night and that you came to hear me and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate it."

He must know, I thought to myself. We had also worked out that night that we were going to both being going to NTE, a Uni student conference in Canberra. So I figured, if he was going to ask me out, it was going to be on NTE.

Had Tim figured out my oh so subtle hint. Of course not! He just thought I was being a good friend! I had probably moved up to equal first on his list of favourite girls ;), but he wasn't sure enough to ask me out yet.

Final installment tomorrow!

Tim and I Post 3

Fi and I walked into the WBT (Wednesday Bible Talk) before it started. Fi, being the confident person that she was, bounded up to Tim to say hello, and I followed meekly behind. I said hi to him in a way that I thought was enthusiastic, but Tim read as quite cold. Well, clearly she isn't interested, he thought to himself!

After the talk we went to Hungry Jacks for dinner and we sat around talking. I really enjoyed it, and it was great to get to know Tim's friends.

So two weeks later, I found myself back again, and Tim and I continued to talk.

Two funny things happened in the process. The first was I told my friend Kirsten about Tim. But don't tell anyone, I told her quite seriously. The next time I saw her she said, "I've asked Steve Williams about him" (Steve is the staff worker at RMIT CU). I was mortified! She wasn't suppose to scout him out for me! She said she wanted to know if he was good enough! The information Kirsten had for me was quite useful. Steve said he was a really godly guy, who was very intelligent (though he pretended he wasn't). He'd make a terrific husband, and in Steve's words "he was a great catch".

Despite my frustrations at the way I had found out (though I'm very thankful now), this was very useful information. I felt like I knew enough about his character that I would say yes if he asked me out.

The other funny thing happened the second night I came to WBT. You see, Tim had told his mentor Ben that he was a little bit interested in me. That night, after Ben had left, he sent Tim a message "It's not that far to The Basin!". The Basin was the suburb in which I lived. Tim didn't know that, and so the message didn't make any sense to him. He showed it to Mike Veith, who didn't understand it either. He almost showed it to me to ask if I knew what it meant! But he didn't, and the story continued...

Tim and I Post 2

A very good friend of mine once told me that guys often like multiple girls at the same time. I didn't believe her. Of course they don't!

But I was wrong.

While I tried not to get carried away with Tim, who I saw occationally at parties in the months that followed, Tim was not exactly doing the same. I was definately on the list of girls he was interested in (or at least I was when he saw me, otherwise he forgot about me), but there were other girls alot higher than me! I had no idea, in fact, I was pretty confinced he was also interested! This was a great thing to be deceived about, because if I didn't think he liked me I probably would have turned shy again. Instead I made an effort to talk to him each time I saw him. I still felt I didn't know him very well, and wasn't sure when I was going to get the chance to know him more. I did, however, get a chance to hear him give his testimony at an evangelistic rally.

Eventually we find ourselves on another camp and got chatting in a group setting. I had recently gotten a job at Melbourne Uni and he was asking about it. He mentioned casually that RMIT CU (which he attended at the time) had a 6:30 talk on every Wednesday. "You should come along some time" he suggested. "I have Bible study on every second Wednesday" I answered, "but I'd love to come".

A week after the camp finished Fi and I were talking and she asked me if I was interested in anyone. I decided to tell her about Tim. Her first words were "Hmmm, Belinda Grant, yeah that sound alright, I think you can like him!" We sat in the car for hours chatting. Fi's words on the issue (besides the blessing on the name change) were straight to the point, very Fi like. "Look, you can wait around for years hoping to see him and never really knowing what he's like, or you can do something about it". I mentioned the Bible talk, and Fi agreed to come along for moral support.

Tim and I Part 1

Hi folks!


I've been home from College sick for the last two days, and to amuse myself (in between essay writing and coughing) I have been looking at a few stories on people's blogs about how they ended up with their respective spouses. It's rather fun, often over the top, and many times makes me laugh- because these greeting-card worthy love stories of patiences and romance are so different to what happened to us. And yet it is the same God who brings them about. So it inspired me to write about how me and Tim got together. He is still deciding if he is willing for this- so if you see this up he must have said yes!

To start off with, I should paint a picture of what kind of girl I was . Though its probably hard to believe if you only know me now- I was painfully shy when it came to guys I was interested in. When I liked a guy, it was often more in my head than based on any flesh and bone realities! At 22 I had never had a boyfriend, and this worried me greatly. I wasn't a flirt, I knew I didn't want to be a flirt- but I worried this would get in the way of me being noticed. A wise older Christian friend gave me wonderful advice- focus on serving God- and that will attract the kind of man you want to marry anyway.

Unbeknowns to me, I had already had some contact with the man I would marry. My first memory of Tim was from the year before we met. He was doing a book review at a camp we were both at, and I have a very vivid memory of the first thing I heard him say "Hi, my name is Tim Grant, and I like wearing shorts!". His somewhat comical book review that followed gave me the impression that he was a funny guy- but as I wasn't generally interested in funny guys, I didn't give him another thought. My second memory of him was at a friends party (we were often at the same parties, but as we'd never been introduced we never talked). He'd been to a wedding that day, and rocked up in his suite, and I remember thinking that Tim Grant scrubs up alright, he looks very good in a suite!

Several months later I was on a camp called the Victorian Christian Youth Convension. Me and my friend Fi had invited members of our youth group to come and none came along to the day session- much to our disappointment. However, during the day we bumped into Tim and his friend Mike Veith, who Fi knew from previous meetings. Since we all weren't doing anything that afternoon we hung out, and Mike and Tim joined us for a BBQ with the young adults from church.

That night, after the session I sat down next to Tim and we talked. Because I wasn't interested in him (as I said, I never liked funny guys), I was alot more comfortable with him than I usually was with guys I didn't know. He asked me about my future plans and we talked about how we both wanted to do ministry. We both smiled at each other and in that moment the following thoughts went through my head We both have the same ideas about the future, I feel really comfortable with him, he's a lovely Christian guy, I wonder why I don't like him, wait a minute I think I do!

Tim's interest in me was growing that night as well.

That night I had a dream about him, where we had had a really deep, wonderful conversation. I knew it was just a dream, but still, it suggested to me that my subconscious was interested too! But I remember praying and praying because I didn't want to like him for the idea of him but for him. So I prayed the words I would repeat over and over to God over that next year Father, make me sensible about him, and not silly!

Tim, meanwhile, just like a guy, promptly forgot about me ;)

Next installment coming tomorrow!

Love Languages

As many of you will know, this weekend is my big birthday weekend, as Tim turned 27 on Saturday and my sister turned 26 yesterday. It was hard to be away from Sandy and to not be there to celebrate with her, but hopefully we can do a bit of that when we are in Melbourne next week. Tim's birthday was a lovely day, we had some people from College round, I cooked lots of things that Tim liked, and we ended the night with ice-cream cake and the "hat" game (it appears to be the Sydney version of the name game).

I normally find Tim's birthday a bit stressful, really wanting to make it fun for him, but knowing I'm not always perfect at orchestrating the process. But praise God, my prayers were answered and Tim had a wonderful day. And a big part of this was to do with love languages.

If you've been hiding under a rock (that is no where near Koorong!) you may not have heard about the concept of love languages. It was a concept I'd heard of in the past and dismissed as one of those psudo-psychological fads that got wrapped up with a few out-of-context Bible verses, that really you could take and leave. But I have to say, I've found that book one of the most helpful for my marriage.

The books idea is that everyone has slightly different ways of expressing their love and things which make them feel loved, and they generally fit into 5 categories: Acts of Service (doing nice things), Gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, and my personal favourite- Quality time.

The first half of the first year Tim and I worked for RMIT CU was a really tough time for me. As well as getting used to a new and emotional job, I also had to get used to a new Tim. Tim, under the pressure of so much people time, spent alot more time on his own. This to me felt like a rejection and I began to wonder things like "Am I just really boring company? Is he sick of me? Do I need to be more entertaining? Are we past the best stage in our marriage and now onto some mundain, putting-up-with-each-other stage?"

But half way through the year I finally bought the love languages book, and it helped me so much. I began to realise that as quality time was my love language, I assumed that Tim wanting Tim alone was all about me. It wasn't. Tim needed space, not because he didn't love being with me, but because he was an introvert who needed some time alone. But I also realised that I had to be really clear with what I needed. Tim could have his space, but I also needed time together- and not time hanging out with students together, or time watching TV together but actually time, talking, sharing, face-to-face. And what a difference it's made to us working that out!

Which brings us back to Saturday. Tim's love language is Gifts. He loves presents. He loves his birthday. So I feel a great deal of pressure to please him. This year he wanted a new pair of shoes, which we finally decided on, on Sunday. But what to give him on the day!

I decided to make a treat luckie dip. Each hour for about 8 hours of the day, Tim could draw one small present (chocolates, a big M, some socks he'd been wanting to get etc) out of his treat luckie dip. Tim just loved it, it wasn't complicated or expessive, but it was very him. And that, coupled with the fact that I was doing lots of "Acts of service" in preparation for company, which he also loved, meant he had a really lovely day.

Tim and I quite enjoy talking to other couples about their love languages and how they go about loving each other well. Our friend Matt from College came up to us and said that he's just discovered a sixth love language. Farting. But he said it didn't seem to be his wife Ros's language because she didn't seem to feel loved when he farted for her ;)

I'm so glad that's not Tim's love language!