My memories of Wednesday Bible Talk are very dear. It was such a great time, brilliant talks, entertaining new friends, and of course time with Tim. Wednesdays were my favourite days, and I often found it so hard to concentrate at work, I was so happy! Again, and again I prayed "God, please make me sensible, and not silly". And to my amazement it worked. God helped me not to be constantly imagining Tim and I having a future together, to not imagine him to be something he wasn't. When I thought about him, I thought about what I actually knew about him, not what I hoped he'd be like. This was an amazing thing for me, and such a gift from God.
Meanwhile, several of Tim's friends started asking about me. "Belinda's coming pretty regularly, maybe she's interested in you?". "No" Tim assured them, "I think she's just here for the talks".
As the end of the year approached, Wednesday Bible Talk was going to finish up for good, and with it my opportunities to hang out with Tim. As this time approached, I found out Tim was actually preaching one week. It was on a week where I normal had Bible study, a fact we discussed the week before. But I really wanted to go, and I figured by turning up hopefully Tim would figure out I was interested and maybe make a move. I explained to my Bible study leader that a friend was preaching, and was excused from going. That Wednesday I was so scared! I really thought I was laying my cards out on the table. What would he do?
And so I turned up and heard his talk and it was wonderful! Tim is a very gifted speaker, but what I really appreciated was having a window into his relationship with God. And after the talk we hung out as usual and I wondered if he knew why I was there. That night he pulled me aside and said "I know this is normally your Bible study night and that you came to hear me and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate it."
He must know, I thought to myself. We had also worked out that night that we were going to both being going to NTE, a Uni student conference in Canberra. So I figured, if he was going to ask me out, it was going to be on NTE.
Had Tim figured out my oh so subtle hint. Of course not! He just thought I was being a good friend! I had probably moved up to equal first on his list of favourite girls ;), but he wasn't sure enough to ask me out yet.
Final installment tomorrow!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Tim and I Post 3
Fi and I walked into the WBT (Wednesday Bible Talk) before it started. Fi, being the confident person that she was, bounded up to Tim to say hello, and I followed meekly behind. I said hi to him in a way that I thought was enthusiastic, but Tim read as quite cold. Well, clearly she isn't interested, he thought to himself!
After the talk we went to Hungry Jacks for dinner and we sat around talking. I really enjoyed it, and it was great to get to know Tim's friends.
So two weeks later, I found myself back again, and Tim and I continued to talk.
Two funny things happened in the process. The first was I told my friend Kirsten about Tim. But don't tell anyone, I told her quite seriously. The next time I saw her she said, "I've asked Steve Williams about him" (Steve is the staff worker at RMIT CU). I was mortified! She wasn't suppose to scout him out for me! She said she wanted to know if he was good enough! The information Kirsten had for me was quite useful. Steve said he was a really godly guy, who was very intelligent (though he pretended he wasn't). He'd make a terrific husband, and in Steve's words "he was a great catch".
Despite my frustrations at the way I had found out (though I'm very thankful now), this was very useful information. I felt like I knew enough about his character that I would say yes if he asked me out.
The other funny thing happened the second night I came to WBT. You see, Tim had told his mentor Ben that he was a little bit interested in me. That night, after Ben had left, he sent Tim a message "It's not that far to The Basin!". The Basin was the suburb in which I lived. Tim didn't know that, and so the message didn't make any sense to him. He showed it to Mike Veith, who didn't understand it either. He almost showed it to me to ask if I knew what it meant! But he didn't, and the story continued...
After the talk we went to Hungry Jacks for dinner and we sat around talking. I really enjoyed it, and it was great to get to know Tim's friends.
So two weeks later, I found myself back again, and Tim and I continued to talk.
Two funny things happened in the process. The first was I told my friend Kirsten about Tim. But don't tell anyone, I told her quite seriously. The next time I saw her she said, "I've asked Steve Williams about him" (Steve is the staff worker at RMIT CU). I was mortified! She wasn't suppose to scout him out for me! She said she wanted to know if he was good enough! The information Kirsten had for me was quite useful. Steve said he was a really godly guy, who was very intelligent (though he pretended he wasn't). He'd make a terrific husband, and in Steve's words "he was a great catch".
Despite my frustrations at the way I had found out (though I'm very thankful now), this was very useful information. I felt like I knew enough about his character that I would say yes if he asked me out.
The other funny thing happened the second night I came to WBT. You see, Tim had told his mentor Ben that he was a little bit interested in me. That night, after Ben had left, he sent Tim a message "It's not that far to The Basin!". The Basin was the suburb in which I lived. Tim didn't know that, and so the message didn't make any sense to him. He showed it to Mike Veith, who didn't understand it either. He almost showed it to me to ask if I knew what it meant! But he didn't, and the story continued...
Tim and I Post 2
A very good friend of mine once told me that guys often like multiple girls at the same time. I didn't believe her. Of course they don't!
But I was wrong.
While I tried not to get carried away with Tim, who I saw occationally at parties in the months that followed, Tim was not exactly doing the same. I was definately on the list of girls he was interested in (or at least I was when he saw me, otherwise he forgot about me), but there were other girls alot higher than me! I had no idea, in fact, I was pretty confinced he was also interested! This was a great thing to be deceived about, because if I didn't think he liked me I probably would have turned shy again. Instead I made an effort to talk to him each time I saw him. I still felt I didn't know him very well, and wasn't sure when I was going to get the chance to know him more. I did, however, get a chance to hear him give his testimony at an evangelistic rally.
Eventually we find ourselves on another camp and got chatting in a group setting. I had recently gotten a job at Melbourne Uni and he was asking about it. He mentioned casually that RMIT CU (which he attended at the time) had a 6:30 talk on every Wednesday. "You should come along some time" he suggested. "I have Bible study on every second Wednesday" I answered, "but I'd love to come".
A week after the camp finished Fi and I were talking and she asked me if I was interested in anyone. I decided to tell her about Tim. Her first words were "Hmmm, Belinda Grant, yeah that sound alright, I think you can like him!" We sat in the car for hours chatting. Fi's words on the issue (besides the blessing on the name change) were straight to the point, very Fi like. "Look, you can wait around for years hoping to see him and never really knowing what he's like, or you can do something about it". I mentioned the Bible talk, and Fi agreed to come along for moral support.
But I was wrong.
While I tried not to get carried away with Tim, who I saw occationally at parties in the months that followed, Tim was not exactly doing the same. I was definately on the list of girls he was interested in (or at least I was when he saw me, otherwise he forgot about me), but there were other girls alot higher than me! I had no idea, in fact, I was pretty confinced he was also interested! This was a great thing to be deceived about, because if I didn't think he liked me I probably would have turned shy again. Instead I made an effort to talk to him each time I saw him. I still felt I didn't know him very well, and wasn't sure when I was going to get the chance to know him more. I did, however, get a chance to hear him give his testimony at an evangelistic rally.
Eventually we find ourselves on another camp and got chatting in a group setting. I had recently gotten a job at Melbourne Uni and he was asking about it. He mentioned casually that RMIT CU (which he attended at the time) had a 6:30 talk on every Wednesday. "You should come along some time" he suggested. "I have Bible study on every second Wednesday" I answered, "but I'd love to come".
A week after the camp finished Fi and I were talking and she asked me if I was interested in anyone. I decided to tell her about Tim. Her first words were "Hmmm, Belinda Grant, yeah that sound alright, I think you can like him!" We sat in the car for hours chatting. Fi's words on the issue (besides the blessing on the name change) were straight to the point, very Fi like. "Look, you can wait around for years hoping to see him and never really knowing what he's like, or you can do something about it". I mentioned the Bible talk, and Fi agreed to come along for moral support.
Tim and I Part 1
Hi folks!
I've been home from College sick for the last two days, and to amuse myself (in between essay writing and coughing) I have been looking at a few stories on people's blogs about how they ended up with their respective spouses. It's rather fun, often over the top, and many times makes me laugh- because these greeting-card worthy love stories of patiences and romance are so different to what happened to us. And yet it is the same God who brings them about. So it inspired me to write about how me and Tim got together. He is still deciding if he is willing for this- so if you see this up he must have said yes!
To start off with, I should paint a picture of what kind of girl I was . Though its probably hard to believe if you only know me now- I was painfully shy when it came to guys I was interested in. When I liked a guy, it was often more in my head than based on any flesh and bone realities! At 22 I had never had a boyfriend, and this worried me greatly. I wasn't a flirt, I knew I didn't want to be a flirt- but I worried this would get in the way of me being noticed. A wise older Christian friend gave me wonderful advice- focus on serving God- and that will attract the kind of man you want to marry anyway.
Unbeknowns to me, I had already had some contact with the man I would marry. My first memory of Tim was from the year before we met. He was doing a book review at a camp we were both at, and I have a very vivid memory of the first thing I heard him say "Hi, my name is Tim Grant, and I like wearing shorts!". His somewhat comical book review that followed gave me the impression that he was a funny guy- but as I wasn't generally interested in funny guys, I didn't give him another thought. My second memory of him was at a friends party (we were often at the same parties, but as we'd never been introduced we never talked). He'd been to a wedding that day, and rocked up in his suite, and I remember thinking that Tim Grant scrubs up alright, he looks very good in a suite!
Several months later I was on a camp called the Victorian Christian Youth Convension. Me and my friend Fi had invited members of our youth group to come and none came along to the day session- much to our disappointment. However, during the day we bumped into Tim and his friend Mike Veith, who Fi knew from previous meetings. Since we all weren't doing anything that afternoon we hung out, and Mike and Tim joined us for a BBQ with the young adults from church.
That night, after the session I sat down next to Tim and we talked. Because I wasn't interested in him (as I said, I never liked funny guys), I was alot more comfortable with him than I usually was with guys I didn't know. He asked me about my future plans and we talked about how we both wanted to do ministry. We both smiled at each other and in that moment the following thoughts went through my head We both have the same ideas about the future, I feel really comfortable with him, he's a lovely Christian guy, I wonder why I don't like him, wait a minute I think I do!
Tim's interest in me was growing that night as well.
That night I had a dream about him, where we had had a really deep, wonderful conversation. I knew it was just a dream, but still, it suggested to me that my subconscious was interested too! But I remember praying and praying because I didn't want to like him for the idea of him but for him. So I prayed the words I would repeat over and over to God over that next year Father, make me sensible about him, and not silly!
Tim, meanwhile, just like a guy, promptly forgot about me ;)
Next installment coming tomorrow!
I've been home from College sick for the last two days, and to amuse myself (in between essay writing and coughing) I have been looking at a few stories on people's blogs about how they ended up with their respective spouses. It's rather fun, often over the top, and many times makes me laugh- because these greeting-card worthy love stories of patiences and romance are so different to what happened to us. And yet it is the same God who brings them about. So it inspired me to write about how me and Tim got together. He is still deciding if he is willing for this- so if you see this up he must have said yes!
To start off with, I should paint a picture of what kind of girl I was . Though its probably hard to believe if you only know me now- I was painfully shy when it came to guys I was interested in. When I liked a guy, it was often more in my head than based on any flesh and bone realities! At 22 I had never had a boyfriend, and this worried me greatly. I wasn't a flirt, I knew I didn't want to be a flirt- but I worried this would get in the way of me being noticed. A wise older Christian friend gave me wonderful advice- focus on serving God- and that will attract the kind of man you want to marry anyway.
Unbeknowns to me, I had already had some contact with the man I would marry. My first memory of Tim was from the year before we met. He was doing a book review at a camp we were both at, and I have a very vivid memory of the first thing I heard him say "Hi, my name is Tim Grant, and I like wearing shorts!". His somewhat comical book review that followed gave me the impression that he was a funny guy- but as I wasn't generally interested in funny guys, I didn't give him another thought. My second memory of him was at a friends party (we were often at the same parties, but as we'd never been introduced we never talked). He'd been to a wedding that day, and rocked up in his suite, and I remember thinking that Tim Grant scrubs up alright, he looks very good in a suite!
Several months later I was on a camp called the Victorian Christian Youth Convension. Me and my friend Fi had invited members of our youth group to come and none came along to the day session- much to our disappointment. However, during the day we bumped into Tim and his friend Mike Veith, who Fi knew from previous meetings. Since we all weren't doing anything that afternoon we hung out, and Mike and Tim joined us for a BBQ with the young adults from church.
That night, after the session I sat down next to Tim and we talked. Because I wasn't interested in him (as I said, I never liked funny guys), I was alot more comfortable with him than I usually was with guys I didn't know. He asked me about my future plans and we talked about how we both wanted to do ministry. We both smiled at each other and in that moment the following thoughts went through my head We both have the same ideas about the future, I feel really comfortable with him, he's a lovely Christian guy, I wonder why I don't like him, wait a minute I think I do!
Tim's interest in me was growing that night as well.
That night I had a dream about him, where we had had a really deep, wonderful conversation. I knew it was just a dream, but still, it suggested to me that my subconscious was interested too! But I remember praying and praying because I didn't want to like him for the idea of him but for him. So I prayed the words I would repeat over and over to God over that next year Father, make me sensible about him, and not silly!
Tim, meanwhile, just like a guy, promptly forgot about me ;)
Next installment coming tomorrow!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
A confession
Dear friends,
I have a naughty confession to make. I'm a bit embarrassed but I felt it was important to let you know. You may have figured it out already, given the lack of posting in recent weeks. But in case you haven't...here it is...
I'm bored of blogging!
Oh, I know, its a bit bad isn't it? Its such a me thing to- I'm forever getting excited about projects- and then letting them slide with the next much more exciting thing (which at the moment is fantasy fiction writing- LOVE IT!).
I quite enjoy looking at blogs, and am often being disappointed at the many interesting bloggers who blog fairly regularly (getting onto my check every day list) only for them to drop back to semi-regularly. This means they move onto my "check if you have time" list! And here I am, doing exactly the same thing.
But I don't think I'm going to stop.
One- I want to be a follow-through girl! Its a life long aim and I'm working on it and maybe this will be the turning of the tide. Imagine, a Belinda who no longer dreams of things that might be but actually fulfills them. I know, its a beautiful thought ;)
Two-I've been thinking about the purpose of this blog- and the main purpose is to let my dear, dear friends in Melbourne know how I am going, and what I am learning. So this is a worthy aim- and is worth pushing through for.
Three- I think my underlying reason for "getting over" blogging is that I've lost confidence. My blog is not a serious, it's-my-key-ministry, carefully crafted work of art. So that's made me cautious about blogging. But I should just get over that- something doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile
(Incidentally- it would be an interesting post to discuss the amazing realisation I had two years ago that I am a perfectionist. Hmmm, put that on the to-do list!)
Four- I will probably get to enjoy it again sometime soon.
So, I will continue. A key point about creative writing that you hear all the time is that when you have writers block, just write rubbish and you'll find over time that the simple act of writing will pull you out of the hole. In the process of writing this I've come up with four different things I want to post on.
So maybe don't put me on your check once a year blog list yet ;)
love B
I have a naughty confession to make. I'm a bit embarrassed but I felt it was important to let you know. You may have figured it out already, given the lack of posting in recent weeks. But in case you haven't...here it is...
I'm bored of blogging!
Oh, I know, its a bit bad isn't it? Its such a me thing to- I'm forever getting excited about projects- and then letting them slide with the next much more exciting thing (which at the moment is fantasy fiction writing- LOVE IT!).
I quite enjoy looking at blogs, and am often being disappointed at the many interesting bloggers who blog fairly regularly (getting onto my check every day list) only for them to drop back to semi-regularly. This means they move onto my "check if you have time" list! And here I am, doing exactly the same thing.
But I don't think I'm going to stop.
One- I want to be a follow-through girl! Its a life long aim and I'm working on it and maybe this will be the turning of the tide. Imagine, a Belinda who no longer dreams of things that might be but actually fulfills them. I know, its a beautiful thought ;)
Two-I've been thinking about the purpose of this blog- and the main purpose is to let my dear, dear friends in Melbourne know how I am going, and what I am learning. So this is a worthy aim- and is worth pushing through for.
Three- I think my underlying reason for "getting over" blogging is that I've lost confidence. My blog is not a serious, it's-my-key-ministry, carefully crafted work of art. So that's made me cautious about blogging. But I should just get over that- something doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile
(Incidentally- it would be an interesting post to discuss the amazing realisation I had two years ago that I am a perfectionist. Hmmm, put that on the to-do list!)
Four- I will probably get to enjoy it again sometime soon.
So, I will continue. A key point about creative writing that you hear all the time is that when you have writers block, just write rubbish and you'll find over time that the simple act of writing will pull you out of the hole. In the process of writing this I've come up with four different things I want to post on.
So maybe don't put me on your check once a year blog list yet ;)
love B
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Kids Songs
Don't you just love Christian kids songs?
One of the many highlights of leading Sunday School this term has been taking the chance to sing songs. I've been putting on the CD regularly to learn the many songs I had never heard before (they like it modern in Sydney for some reason- they don't use the Old classics from my If-I-were-a-butterfly childhood!)- but that's just my excuse. I really love listening to them.
But its funny how simple and profound and real kids songs can be. One week we played a Colin Buchanan song "Be Strong and Courageous" all about how we can trust God to keep us safe- and I'm not sure what the kids thought about it but it got me and the other leader in tears!
I've been really enjoying teaching Sunday School- although its also been scary to try something new in ministry. I'd experienced kids ministry on beach mission and a kids clubs at my old church- but never the really little ones. They are so limited in what they can do physically and limited in what they can remember! They need to go to the toilet several times a lesson and the smaller girls sometimes burst into tears and cry for Mummy.
But they need to hear about Jesus and we tell them, and its great to see their eyes following along with awe when they hear stories of Jesus life for the first time. They will probably hear and read them many many more times (that is our prayer anyway). But how exciting to be the first to tell them!
Please pray for the kids and their folks. Many of the kids have parents who don't yet know the Jesus that their kids are becoming acquainted with. And pray for me, that I will carefully, faithfully, lovingly share Jesus with them. I have always been so thankful that I can't remember a time when I didn't love Jesus. And my prayer for these kids is that they will one day be able to say the same.
love B
One of the many highlights of leading Sunday School this term has been taking the chance to sing songs. I've been putting on the CD regularly to learn the many songs I had never heard before (they like it modern in Sydney for some reason- they don't use the Old classics from my If-I-were-a-butterfly childhood!)- but that's just my excuse. I really love listening to them.
But its funny how simple and profound and real kids songs can be. One week we played a Colin Buchanan song "Be Strong and Courageous" all about how we can trust God to keep us safe- and I'm not sure what the kids thought about it but it got me and the other leader in tears!
I've been really enjoying teaching Sunday School- although its also been scary to try something new in ministry. I'd experienced kids ministry on beach mission and a kids clubs at my old church- but never the really little ones. They are so limited in what they can do physically and limited in what they can remember! They need to go to the toilet several times a lesson and the smaller girls sometimes burst into tears and cry for Mummy.
But they need to hear about Jesus and we tell them, and its great to see their eyes following along with awe when they hear stories of Jesus life for the first time. They will probably hear and read them many many more times (that is our prayer anyway). But how exciting to be the first to tell them!
Please pray for the kids and their folks. Many of the kids have parents who don't yet know the Jesus that their kids are becoming acquainted with. And pray for me, that I will carefully, faithfully, lovingly share Jesus with them. I have always been so thankful that I can't remember a time when I didn't love Jesus. And my prayer for these kids is that they will one day be able to say the same.
love B
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Mustard Seed
Dear friends,
So sorry I haven't been writing. Life has run away with me at the moment- not that I've been only doing work (far from it...hehe) but blogging has unfortunately been a little low on the priority list. I will do a post on Saturday- but here is my reflections on the last week.
I was very struck by a quote that a guy giving lectures at College said. He was speaking on the concept of repentance- very academically but also very truely. He was speaking about the Pharasis and I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. I am a Pharases at heart (a sin I constantly have to fight against)- a lover of man made rules who loves to feel like "a good person". The quote he said was from CS Lewis and it was something like "We all secretly think that God made a very wise decision in choosing us".
Ouch! That's so me! I often forget my own sin in the business of serving God (ironic) and start to think that God owes me something for my service. Last week was a week where I got reminded again what a sinner I am. And this week was a week when I got reminded of the amazing grace of God- that he loves me and that he sent his son to die for me- knowing me for the sinner I am.
Its funny how people view us. I've been struck lately at the amazing faith that many of my friends have, the way that they stand firm on the promises of God even when going through intense suffering and feeling like my faith is so small and so fickled in comparison (particularly in my responses to prayers that don't get answered). But then I think, I bet people look at me and think I have great faith! I wonder if others feel the same?
This week was a week where I really did feel that my faith was as small as a mustard seed. But praise God, that is enough. Praise God!
God is so good. He is so good in so many ways. How is it that we can repent and be forgiven- how is it that God would save us? It is hard to comprehend but so beautiful to think about.
Amazing Grace.
love B
So sorry I haven't been writing. Life has run away with me at the moment- not that I've been only doing work (far from it...hehe) but blogging has unfortunately been a little low on the priority list. I will do a post on Saturday- but here is my reflections on the last week.
I was very struck by a quote that a guy giving lectures at College said. He was speaking on the concept of repentance- very academically but also very truely. He was speaking about the Pharasis and I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. I am a Pharases at heart (a sin I constantly have to fight against)- a lover of man made rules who loves to feel like "a good person". The quote he said was from CS Lewis and it was something like "We all secretly think that God made a very wise decision in choosing us".
Ouch! That's so me! I often forget my own sin in the business of serving God (ironic) and start to think that God owes me something for my service. Last week was a week where I got reminded again what a sinner I am. And this week was a week when I got reminded of the amazing grace of God- that he loves me and that he sent his son to die for me- knowing me for the sinner I am.
Its funny how people view us. I've been struck lately at the amazing faith that many of my friends have, the way that they stand firm on the promises of God even when going through intense suffering and feeling like my faith is so small and so fickled in comparison (particularly in my responses to prayers that don't get answered). But then I think, I bet people look at me and think I have great faith! I wonder if others feel the same?
This week was a week where I really did feel that my faith was as small as a mustard seed. But praise God, that is enough. Praise God!
God is so good. He is so good in so many ways. How is it that we can repent and be forgiven- how is it that God would save us? It is hard to comprehend but so beautiful to think about.
Amazing Grace.
love B
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