Our least messy house

I thought you'd like to get some pictures of where we live. this is the very pretty entry way into our hospital (our building used to be a hospital- If I haven't mentioned that to you). You are lucky to actually get to see this photo- seeing as I was close to passing out from the garlic fumes whafting through the hallway out of our neighbours kitchen. It is so strong- I actually spent two minutes searching our kitchen- because surely a smell that strong had to be from our own house! I'm not sure if its to do with the nature of our building- but we can often smell our neighbours cooking- and if as usually it smells better than what we are having I end up salivating with jelousy!

Tim and I have a regular argument about which one of us is the messiest. Tim argues that I have the largest tolerance for mess which means it has to get pretty messy before it bothers me. I argue that if the tolerance for mess is not based on annoyance of mess but on how messy it gets before you actually start cleaning then he has the largest tolerance!

I've been doing a bit of blog searching lately on my favourite Christian lit topic- being a wife. This process can be both helpful and dispiriting. Helpful, because it does inspire me to rethink how I am serving Tim and what it means to be a wife. I am a passionate person who blows hot and cold- and so I need regular shots in the arm to keep my eye on the prize. To read again what a privelege it is to be a helper, to hear stories of great ministries that have been propt up by a loving wives sacrifices, to be reminded again that putting Tim before my career does not make me a second class citizen- this is really important.

But this process is also dispiriting because the women who tend to write these books or these blogs are not like me. Their tolerance for mess is very low, and if their husbands is lower then they cheerfully clean to that level. They cook fantastic meals that are healthy and cheap while I get carried away with a particular receipy and send us over budget once again. They are sweet and quiet and hospitalable and fade into the background so that their husbands (and more importantly God) can get the glory- I talk to much, love being the centre of attention, and in the past we haven't been able to have people round because the house was too messy!


Some of this is my sin- and praise God, he has helped us fight our hatred of house-cleaning so that now we can have people round at the drop of a hat. The blessing of two houses with dishwashes certainly helped! Seeing Tim serve and the way that God uses his numerous gifts has helped me see that freeing him up to do his work is worthwhile. Tim has also been a good role model at deflecting the glory back to God when ministry goes well.

But part of this is just that God has made me a certain type of person. When I first got married I spent the first year feeling like a failer as a wife, because I set my standards based on women who were so different to me. Why can't I be a wife like her? Why can't I have a house like her's? Why does it all have to come so hard to me?

But there is more to being a wife than a clean house. Like all things, there are things that are easy for me, and there are things that are hard. And once more it comes down to that question: what can I do to serve Tim and God best, given who God has actually made me to be?

I'm still not sure of my answer. But what a privelege to serve a God who loves us when we get it wrong and when we get it right, and who gives us his Spirit to grow more and more. That fact that this current house is our least messy house is due to his grace in our growth as much as it is due to our dishwasher.

Does anyone have any suggestions of a useful resources for thinking through what it means to be a wife? I've read lots of good stuff, but I find it hard to pry away what is the American Christian-cultural standards on being a wife and what is actually straight from the Bible.
Thanks,
Belinda

Back in Sydney

Back in Sydney.

It is, I have to say, very nice to sleep in your own bed. When I entered the house I was overwhelmed by that strange musty smell that never seems to go away- but that you grow so accustomed to it that you only notice it after a week away. But- in some strange way it is home, and I actually had fun opening up all the windows to gets some air moving, emptying the saucepan we have sitting under the leaking toilet pipe, and once again sitting in our half bath staring at Greek paradimes that are blue-tacked to the glass. It will be a strange couple of days: no classes, lots of socialising, assisting Tim with preparation for a kids talk at church, and if I am realistic about myself- probably not enough Greek revision. But I'm looking forward to Monday and given most people's Sunday facebook status profiles- this is a very rare thing.

Tim and I are once again attempting to be healthier. I tend to get motivated for health more than Tim- but when he's on board with the idea it actually happens whereas for me it usually lasts a day. He even said to me at Avalon Airport- "we should eat more salad". I was tempted to ask "who are you and what have you done with my husband?", but you take what you can get in this business so I agreed. I have two main problems when it comes to healthy eating. One is that I just love eating, and food and cooking and have little self control in this area- the second is that I keep looking out for ways to make it easier. Surely I think there must be a way that you can eat healthy and still eat food that is really really yummy and not miss out. So I keep my eyes out for foods that are really fun and yummy and good for you- and given how few there are, I don't get anywhere so I just keep eating rubbish. But with diabetes on both sides of my family- I wont get away with it- and I'd much rather eat healthy now than be forced to by a failing pancreas.

But, to aid me in my efforts I have just invented the most awesome drink in the world. I'm still coming up with a name- the working title is Hot Oranj- but I'm sure I can do better than that and I don't even know how to pronounce it properly.

It started because to my own devastation I found out that orange juice wasn't one of those miracle foods that was good for you and yummy. It is to an extent- but with 200% of your necessary Vitamin C in only one cup, very little fibre, and a high sugar content- it wasn't really healthy with my three to four glass a day habit.

I had tried, as I'd read in books- to water it down- but it tasted pretty bad. Then one day I figured it out. I'd always had hot lemon drinks for colds- and one day I tried a hot orange drink- 1/4 orange juice and 3/4 boiling water. And it was so good! And I could have four a day and all that would mean was that I had my requirement of VC and lots more water than I would otherwise have. Plus it saves us the money we were spending to feed my habit!

Despite inventing the coolest drink in the world, trying to be healthy is generally so depressing! I find myself looking ultra critically at myself in photos, foods becomes much more of a big deal, and I find it harder to believe Tim when he says I'm attractive just the way I am. And its a reminder of my sin, because I'm constantly faced with my inability to stick to things- to put my health and Tim above my own pleasure- and to trust in God's goodness that he made me and he doesn't make mistakes. But I'm getting back on the bike and trying again.

BTW, just wanted to say that I had a lovely time in Melbourne and that God has given me and Tim some pretty spectacular friends.

love you all,

Belinda

The yet to be discovered secret of contentment

Dear friends,
I love Melbourne. I'm going to say it again. I love Melbourne. It has been so nice seeing so many dear friends, but its had a bittersweetness to it because I know I will be leaving them all soon. But I'm very, very thankful for the friends I have. Which is funny. Because as Tim keeps reminding me as I complain about not making deep friendships fast enough in Sydney and how much better it was in Melbourne, when I was in Melbourne I often worried about friendships then too. Just another battle in the never ending struggle for contentment.

One of the things that has been on my mind alot over the last week has been the future. I think its because coming back to Melbourne gets Tim and I thinking about what we will do when we come back hopefully for good- and we toss around ideas and don't really get anywhere. My stomach tightened and my head spins and I begin to stress.

And then I move onto the next stage of the worry process, coveting. I look around at others. And I see them with their little families and their new mortgages and their husbands in normal jobs and I begin to stress some more. What if we can never afford a house? What if we never have a normal life? What if I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life with a tight stomach and a spinning head?

One of the most helpful moments in my content battle was a discussion I had with Heather about the nature of coveting. Heather once asked me...you look at other people and you say you want all the things that they have...but do you really? Would you change places? And I pause and I think of what I've had. Would I give up the joys of the last two years of seeing people grow and seeing people move most particularly from death to life...for a house? Would I miss out on all the things that I am learning at the moment? Would I give up on Tim? Would I give up the hard things if it also meant going back to the (prouder, younger, sillier) Belinda who hadn't learned those lessons?

The battle, however, doesn't seem to end with that process. It continues. And God continues to surprise me by taking care of our needs and providing for our little family regardless of our lack of a 'normal' life.

You know the life I really want? Its a life where rather than always looking back and seeing how good things were, I just pause and see them when they happen.

On Sunday we went to church with my Nan and sang one of my favourite hymns. Its such a good reminder to be thankful and of the character of God.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His Mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning,
New every morning
Great is your faithfulness oh Lord
Great is your faithfulness.

I have this idea when I hear that song that what I should do is pause each morning and remember the mercies that God has given me for that day. I still haven't done it.

But I think when I do it, contentment might seem that little bit more possible.
love B

The Basin

I've added a bit of Purple colour to my blog in honour of my gorgeous sister Sandy- who was quite horrified and disgusted that I chose a pink background for my blog.

Well, I'm back in Melbourne, and so far mostly what Tim and I have done is bummed around at Mum and Dads. Which has been just lovely. It is the perfect house to be lazy in- its got unlimited internet, foxtell and a whole collection of our childhood favourite novels that my sister looks after that I can browse whenever. My intention for today was to start on my Greek revision...but we won't worry about that just yet ;)

Its so nice to be back in the Basin. Tim often wails "Its so far away from everything" (I think he still hasn't forgiven it for the hour and a half long round trips he used to have to take to visit me), but I just can't help loving it. I've always been someone who gets really attached to places, and I'm not sure what I'll do when Mum and Dad do what they're always threatening and retire down to the Penisula. Its far away from the city- but when you grew up in a place which was far away from everything you got used to driving. But its perfectly positioned between suburban sprawl which just touches it- and farms and mountains on the other half. Down the end of my street you can see a cow if they happen to be near the fence. There is a spot not five minutes from my house which gives you the most glorous view of Mount Dandenong you could possibly imagine.

My house is nestled at the dip in the street so we always had the greenest grass. Mum and Dad spend their free time in the garden (I still haven't quite figured out how I ended up with lazy genes...) and yet its still feels like your out in the bush when you hide the house behind the bushes. The big problem with the house is that there is no view of sunsets. When I was 13 I used to clime the horse chestnut tree to the point where I could just make it out over our neighbours pines- but unfortunately I doubt that part of the tree could still hold me. You probably can no longer make out (if you know where to look) the initials of the boy I liked in year eight- carved if I remember correctly with a nail file!

Tim and I are sleeping in my old room- in the slightly ricketly sofa bed Mum and Sandy set up when they turned my room into a sewing room. Out the window is the messy remains of a place we still call the secret garden-after the books i feel in love with as a kid.

Oh, Mum's just arrived home. Its been so lovely to see her- the only member of my old imediate family who hasn't visited us yet. She's stopped dying her hair and it looks so beautiful with all its grey streaks. Im enjoying Sydney- but its so nice to have family around again.
Better go say hi!
B

Your First Lesson in Greek

My first delve into New Testament essay writing has reminded me just how far I have to go with the Greek language as I read articles making very little sense of their discussion of the art of Greek translation. One exciting thing was finding that while I couldn't really understand the arguments I could at least start to understand some of the words! One word which makes an appearance in in 1 Peter (in various forms) and is now my favourite Greek word "tim-e"- with the e as a long e pronounced like air (though it looks alot prettier in Greek- unfortunately not one of the blogger font options!)

It's a noun- with its two main meanings: "honour" and "price". The way I remember it- I'm married to Tim-e and its an honour- but it comes with a price ;)
When I said that to Tim his response was- "yeah, it comes with a price to me!"

The adjective (describing word) form of this word is entimos and means valuable, precious, honored, esteemed, or distinguished. All of these are true of my husband and even more true of Jesus who is "the chosen and precious (entimov) cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame"
B

Our priveleged position

I'm fighting off a headache after one of my most productive days studying (yeah!) but I really wanted to share with you about the joy of diving head first into the world of first Peter. But before I do that I thought I should let you know about how I will be designating my different posts. I will label life in Sydney related things "slice of life", ministry related things "ministry" (couldn't think up an exciting title), there will be a few random titles. But anything to do with what I'm learning at College I will label "Holy ground".

The reason for this is not because Moore itself is a holy place (its not- its just a building, and an ugly one at that!). But if you look at the bottom of my blog you will see one of my motos for study by Warfield. It talks about the honor of looking at God's word and warns students to take their shoes off on this holy ground (in reference to Moses taking his shoes off at the burning bush). And as a way of reminding myself (and whoever reads this) that the Bible is holy ground- I will be titling God's word related posts and such.

Its funny what bits of writing an essay I enjoy. I love the priliminary reading of the Bible in preparation, hate reading the other sources (boring!) and love the actually writing down of what I've found. I've looked at 1 Peter many times before- but I don't think I've ever gotten into it to the same extent as in the last month. My question topic is "Discuss the contribution of the Old Testament to the message of One Peter". Which might sound a bit dry- but oh it was wonderful.

1 Peter is a very pastoral book- in the sense that there is so much advice on how to live- and particularly how to cope with suffering and trials. But for every command their is a theological reason behind it- often coming directly from the Old Testament. For example- we are to act humbly towards each other because (quoting from Proverbs 3:34) "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble"

But the piece of one Peter that brings me to tears is that beautiful summary in 1 Peter 2:9-10 of our new position in God
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God (sounds alot like Israels position as God's "treasured posessions"), that you may decleare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are a people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy"

This in and of itself is balm to our souls- to have this amazing role from the creator of the Universe. Particularly the change that we have from not being a people to being a people of God, and to now receiving mercy. But when you think about the Old Testament context it is even greater. You see the book of Hosea talks of Israels role as a wife to God- and their blatent rejection of his to go after worthless ideals- like a wife prostituting herself to someone- despite her husbands goodness. And God gets Hosea to name his children lovely names like "Not my people", and "unloved"- because this is the punishment of Israel- that it looses its great position as God's special people. How just and how devistating! But Hosea offers hope through God's amazing love:

"How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, Israel?
How can I treat you like Admah?
How can I make you like Zeboiim?
My heart is changed within me;
all my compassion is aroused.
I will not carry out my fierce anger,
nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim.
For I am God, and not man—
the Holy One among you.
I will not come in wrath. Hosea 11:8-9

God choses to show mercy, and "In the place where it was said to them, 'You are not my people', they will be called 'sons of the living God'" (Hosea 1:10).

And if that was God's grace to his people- how much more amazing is it- that we, who are not Israelites- actually get to be his people! It is an incredible position! And doesn't that help you when you think of the trials you are facing.

God is good, and its great to do an essay that impacts my Christian life as well as my head and my final marks ;)
God bless,
B

Mission week

"It's great to see Bible College students in their natural habitat- it's like gazels freed from their cages to run wild on the plains"

So frequently (very frequently!) stated Andrew Cameron- Ethics lecturer at Moore College and leader of the mission team to Albury which Tim and I were apart of in the last week- as he observed our team on mission. The idea behind the statement is that at Bible College you see people doing what doesn't come naturally (locking themselves up with books and essays)- but on mission you get to see people doing what they are meant to do- what they are training to do. And to my suprise- despite my so-far enjoyment of studies- mission really did feel like being let out of a cage to do what I actually truly love.

The team I was on went to St Andrew's Presbyterian Church Lavington- a family orientated community on the outskirts of Albury. The Senior minister is Bruce- the most country country-minister you could ever imagine. He talks country- looks country- thinks country. He is also probably the most evangelistically minder man I have ever met. Every conversation, every relationship, every event- Bruce is thinking about the message of Jesus and how important it is to pass on. And he doesn't do it in a unnatural and forced way. He just loves God and wants people to know him. And this attitude- slowly but surely- is having an impact on the attitude of the congregation.

How exciting to go to a church and meet people who became Christians directly through its ministry! To hear of parents coming to church because their little girl heard about Jesus at Scripture class and insisted upon it. To hear of Mums responding to the unconditional love they received at play group by reading the Bible for the first time. To see women and men trade in their "good Christian morals" life for an actually relationship with Jesus. I am not saying that this doesn't happen at other churches I've been too. But I think the spread across the ages is what inspires me the most. As Tim pointed out- theoretically churches are on about evagelism and people are to share the gospel with their friends- but its just phenominal to see it actually working and it reminds you again that what is impossible with man is possible with God!

Tim and I have been discussing next year on and off- and particularly whether if circumstances present themselves whether I should go on to do 2 more years study to get a Bachelor of Theology. One of Tim's concerns was that he thought I'd go a little bit crazy not doing ministry for all that time- and I demissed this at first because I love study. But I realised this week that while I love study- it is not ministry. Ministry is harder and scarier- but as I did it I couldn't understand how I could have been happy without it.

It's like evangelism in a way. When I don't have someone to share the gospel with it seems like this overwhelmingly scary thing and I start to think that maybe evangelism isn't really my gift and passion because how could it be when I'm so scared? But give me the Bible and someone with an open mind and I find my eyes once again covered with the lense of God's grace and everything else is better, or purer or more worthwhile! And I'm reminded again of that moment of realisation I had when I was 18 when I knew- I finally knew what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing- and that was sharing Jesus- and I started to laugh and cry at the goodness and grace of God.

And so, a week of kids clubs, women's events, family days and family fun events was tiring but it was wonderful. And it really gave me a greater sense of what life might be like (God willing) when Tim and I are serving a church together. I also got to meet two very different but great models of a ministers wife- but you will hear about them on my next post!

Thanks for all your prayers! God blessed our mission. Keep praying for St Andrews- that God in his mercy will pore out his Spirit and swap Albury with gospel growth!
lots of love
B