Worst that can happen...

Conversation between me and Tim while we stroll through the Markets near our home.

Me: "I'm looking forward to this week of Sunday School being over(the kids are normally divided up and Tim and I take the youth but this week I am running things with the youths help). I had another nightmare about it last night. I'm so stressed about it and I don't know why."

Tim: "I don't know why you are stressed either. It's going to be fine. What is the worst that can happen?"

Me: (smiles) "I guess your right, the worst thing would be if I didn't turn up to teach it, and even then it would be okay"

Tim: (pause) "One of the Kids could die. That would be bad."

Me: "That would be bad. But the worst would be if they died because I accidently dropped something on their head. (pause again). Actually, it would probably be worst if I actually deliberately killed them out of rage. That would be the worst thing. And that would be bad"

As we walked on, I felt better, confident that though the worst thing that could happen tomorrow would indeed be terribly bad- it was not particularly likely.

love B

Holidays, on the way

Holidays are almost sorted.

It is amazing the difference a few days make.

Two days ago I woke up from a shocking nightmare where I arrived at church to find out I was doing a kids talk and teaching Sunday School and I hadn't done any prep (most of my nightmares these days involve me getting into trouble for a lack of organisation- that is the monster in my nightmares!)

But now the kind of pent up stress that leads to such a dream has disapated.

Holidays are almost sorted. People have almost all agreed to look after my ministries while I am away. And even though I have many things to finish off in the weeks leading up to when I go away- I am starting to feel like it might all just come together in the end!

So what do I have to look forward to:

-Two nights in the Kangaroo Valley with a few great friends from college

-Four nights in Melbourne. Unfortunately it won't be a very long stay but it will be great to see family and I even get to help my soon to be sister-in-law Angie with putting together wedding invatations!

-One night at home

-Tim and I go away for a one night retreate for those considering church planting. It will involve talks and workshops, but it will also involve Tim and I time which I am really looking forward too!

Amazing how holidays put a tired brain in a better place!
love Belinda

Advice on things you've never experienced

One of the realities of having a role like I do in a church is I often have people discussing their problems with me and getting advice.

But sometimes those questions are things that I myself do not have any personal experience with.

The main one at the moment is parenting. Working with Mum's so much, I am asked often things like "How should I pray for my kids?", "How do I explain to my kids about other religions?", "How can I get my child to read their Bible", "What should I do if my teenager stops talking to me?", "How do I help my kid cope with bullying".

And now I find myself preparing a session on how to encourage your children's Christian faith for the Mum's Bible study I lead!

While much of this relates to my particular role, this is not a new experience for me. I discipled women who were dating when I had never had a boyfriend.

And sometimes I felt completely inadequate, and a little bit uncomfortable- longing to find someone else who could do the job for me who is more "experienced"!

But there is a few things I've realised.

Yes you can't help with everything.

Yes there are things that you can't understand until you've experienced them.

And yes, I do think about and research and ask questions to those who have been through these experiences and can share the knowledge they have gained.

But the biggest thing I've found when faced with questions about life situations that I've never experienced is that the Bible often has something to say about them.

I have never had to discipline a child

But I know something of what the Bible says about discipline. And so rather than being caught up with feelings of inadequacy, I turn to God's Word and together me and my friend work out what our good God has to say that might help guide them in that particular situation.

When I was 22 I had a women who was a great deal older than me ask me advice about a situation with her husband. I was completely shocked to be asked, surprised that she would think I had anything to say. For a moment I was speechless

But I did have something to say.

I just told her what the Bible said about that particular issue.
And she did it.
love B

Thanks

Hi friends,
Feeling very prayed for at the moment- just wanted to say thanks!
love B

After a slightly depressing last post...

I actually had time today for a nice long walk. The sky was blue and wind wasn't icy and it actually felt like spring might be around the corner.

I found an op shop and bought two tops, one that is cool and one that is pretty! I tried on one dress which I absolutely loved-it was this strange peasanty number with a mash up of brown and green paisley patterns. It was a little too weird for me to wear in public so I didn't buy it. But I'm glad I got to try it on :)

I had a cup of tea with a good friend

I worked on my novel (160 pages- oh yeah!)

I cooked dinner for Tim that he absolutely loved and he's been going on about it ever since.

Small blessings.

Lovely day off.
love B

Update and prayer points

It's been an interesting month.

I have been very weary- but not because I haven't been sleeping or because I haven't had time off. I have.

I'm just worn out.

It is amazing how easily discouraged I get. I find myself feeling like I am not doing a very good job at my job. I know that these feelings are not based on reality, and I know that other people don't feel this way- but I find it so easy to blame on myself when things don't get done or when things don't turn out like I prayed. The discouragement is part of the weariness- and a great opportunity to think hard about how I view my work. Because if I feel pride or self-loathing about the way I do things- the problem is that I am too focused on myself and not the God who I am serving. So I am praying that God will help me to see him in everything and not me.

I am also missing Melbourne and feeling very removed from family and friends. I find myself crying every time I see the My Dog add because the dog looks so much like my parent's in-law's little Pippin! It's not about Pippin (although I do miss him)- its about everything he represents. Home. Welcome. Love. Acceptance.

God is still encouraging me in many ways- most particularly through his Word and through Tim's ever present humour and encouragement. I am growing, changing.

But I am so tired.
Please pray for refreshment and peace.
love B